"Children are a great comfort in your old age, and they help you reach it faster, too." – Lionel Kauffman
"I don’t feel old. I don’t feel anything until noon. Then it’s time for my nap." - Bob Hope
“You know you’re getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you’re down there.” - George Burns
"At fifty, everyone has the face he deserves." - George Orwell
"The important thing to remember is that I’m probably going to forget." - Unknown
"I can honestly say I love getting older. Then again, I never put my glasses on before looking in the mirror." - Cherie Lunghi
"First you forget names, then you forget faces, then you forget to pull your zipper up, then you forget to pull your zipper down." - Leo Rosenberg
"Old age is when you resent the swimsuit issue of Sports Illustrated because there are fewer articles to read." – George Burns
"Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician." - Anonymous
"When I was young, I was called a rugged individualist. When I was in my fifties, I was considered eccentric. Here I am doing and saying the same things I did then, and I’m labeled senile." - George Burns
“The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.”—Lucille Ball
"Grandchildren don’t make a man feel old, it’s the knowledge that he’s married to a grandmother that does." - J. Norman Collie
"At my age, flowers scare me." - George Burns
"I refuse to admit I’m more than fifty-two, even if that does make my sons illegitimate." - Nancy Astor
“Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.” – Will Rogers
"We must both, I’m afraid, recognise that, as we grow older, we become like old cars – more and more repairs and replacements are necessary." - C.S. Lewis
""Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest." - Larry Lorenzoni
"Everything slows down with age, except the time it takes cake and ice cream to reach your hips." - John Wagner
"To get back to my youth I would do anything in the world, except take exercise, get up early, or be respectable." - Oscar Wilde
“You spend 90 percent of your adult life hoping for a long rest and the last 10 percent trying to convince the Lord that you’re actually not that tired.” – Robert Brault
"If I’d known I was going to live this long, I’d have taken better care of myself." - Anonymous
"At age 20, we worry about what others think of us… at age 40, we don’t care what they think of us… at age 60, we discover they haven’t been thinking of us at all." - Ann Landers
"I’m so old that my blood type is discontinued." - Bill Dane
"You know you’re getting old when the candles cost more than the cake." – Bob Hope
“It’s paradoxical that the idea of living a long life appeals to everyone, but the idea of getting old doesn’t appeal to anyone.” - Andy Rooney
“Old age isn’t so bad when you consider the alternative.” – Maurice Chevalier
"Looking fifty is great—if you’re sixty." - Joan Rivers
"It is better to wear out than to rust out." - Bishop Richard Cumberland
“The first 40 years of life give us the text; the next 30 supply the commentary on it.” – Arthur Schopenhauer
"Middle age is when you’re sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone rings and you hope it isn’t for you." - Ogden Nash
"If you want to know how old a woman is then ask her sister-in-law." - Edgar Howe
"It’s important to have a twinkle in your wrinkle." - Unknown
"Don't let aging get you down. It's too hard to get back up." - John Wagner
"Old age is like a plane flying through a storm. Once you are aboard there is nothing you can do about it." - Golda Meir
"The years between 50 and 70 are the hardest. You are always being asked to do things, and yet you are not decrepit enough to turn them down." - T.S. Elliot
"All men are the same age." - Dorothy Parker
"I was thinking about how people seem to read the bible a lot more as they get older, and then it dawned on me—they’re cramming for their final exam."- George Carlin
"Maybe it’s true that life begins at fifty. But everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out." - Phyllis Diller
"I’m 59 and people call me middle-aged. How many 118-year-old men do you know?"- Barry Cryer
"You can live to be a hundred if you give up all things that make you want to live to be a hundred." - Woody Allen
“Aging seems to be the only available way to live a long life.” - Kitty O’Neill Collins
"A stockbroker urged me to buy a stock that would triple its value every year. I told him, ‘At my age, I don’t even buy green bananas.’" - Claude Pepper
"I’m like old wine. They don’t bring me out very often… but I’m well preserved." - Rose Kennedy
"Life would be infinitely happier if we could only be born at the age of eighty and gradually approach eighteen." - Mark Twain
"At my age ‘getting lucky’ means walking into a room and remembering what I came in for." - Unknown
"Life is a moderately good play with a badly written third act." - Truman Capote
"One of the many things nobody ever tells you about middle age is that it’s such a nice change from being young." – Dorothy Canfield Fisher
"Regrets are the natural property of grey hairs." - Charles Dickens
"Thirty-five is a very attractive age. London society is full of women of the very highest birth who have, of their own free choice, remained thirty-five for years." - Oscar Wilde
"I complain that the years fly past, but then I look in a mirror and see that very few of them actually got past." - Robert Brault
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