"Life seems to fade our memory, so on this birthday I will forget yours if you forget mine!" - Kate Summers
"All men are the same age." - Dorothy Parker
"There’s one advantage to being 102, there’s no peer pressure." - Dennis Wolfberg
"It is better to wear out than to rust out." - Bishop Richard Cumberland
"The first sign of maturity is the discovery that the volume control also turns to the left. - Jerry M. Wright
"I don’t plan to grow old gracefully. I plan to have face-lifts until my ears meet." - Rita Rudner
"There are three stages of man: he believes in Santa Claus, he does not believe in Santa Claus, he is Santa Claus." - Bob Phillips
"Life would be infinitely happier if we could only be born at the age of eighty and gradually approach eighteen." - Mark Twain
"There is absolutely nothing to be said in favor of growing old. There ought to be legislation against it." - Patrick Moore
"As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can't remember the other two." - Sir Norman Wisdom
"Thanks to modern medical advances such as antibiotics, nasal spray, and Diet Coke, it has become routine for people in the civilized world to pass the age of 40, sometimes more than once." - Dave Barry
“You know you’re getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you’re down there.” - George Burns
"Children are a great comfort in your old age, and they help you reach it faster, too." – Lionel Kauffman
"We must both, I’m afraid, recognise that, as we grow older, we become like old cars – more and more repairs and replacements are necessary." - C.S. Lewis
"I don’t feel old. I don’t feel anything until noon. Then it’s time for my nap." - Bob Hope
"Everything slows down with age, except the time it takes cake and ice cream to reach your hips." - John Wagner
“Old age isn’t so bad when you consider the alternative.” – Maurice Chevalier
"Getting older. I used to be able to run a 4-minute mile, bench press 380 pounds, and tell the truth." - Conan O’Brien
“It’s like you trade the virility of the body for the agility of the spirit.” – Elizabeth Lesser
"Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional" - Chili Davis
“When it comes to staying young, a mind-lift beats a face-lift any day.” – Marty Buccella
"Maybe it’s true that life begins at fifty. But everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out." - Phyllis Diller
"Life is a moderately good play with a badly written third act." - Truman Capote
"The important thing to remember is that I’m probably going to forget." - Unknown
"Regrets are the natural property of grey hairs." - Charles Dickens
“Aging seems to be the only available way to live a long life.” - Kitty O’Neill Collins
"As we grow older, our bodies get shorter and our anecdotes longer." - Robert Quillen"
“Old people shouldn’t eat health foods. They need all the preservatives they can get.” – Robert Orben
"The years between 50 and 70 are the hardest. You are always being asked to do things, and yet you are not decrepit enough to turn them down." - T.S. Elliot
"There is still no cure for the common birthday." - John Glenn
"The idea is to die young as late as possible." - Ashley Montagu
"There’s a reason why forty, fifty, and sixty don’t look the way they used to and it’s not because of feminism, or better living through exercise. It’s because of hair dye." Nora Ephron
"You can live to be a hundred if you give up all things that make you want to live to be a hundred." - Woody Allen
“It’s paradoxical that the idea of living a long life appeals to everyone, but the idea of getting old doesn’t appeal to anyone.” - Andy Rooney
"When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it’s a sure sign you’re getting old." - Mark Twain
"First you forget names, then you forget faces, then you forget to pull your zipper up, then you forget to pull your zipper down." - Leo Rosenberg
"At fifty, everyone has the face he deserves." - George Orwell
"You know you’re getting old when you can pinch an inch on your forehead." - John Mendoza
"If I’d known I was going to live this long, I’d have taken better care of myself." - Anonymous
"Old age is when you resent the swimsuit issue of Sports Illustrated because there are fewer articles to read." – George Burns
"Looking fifty is great—if you’re sixty." - Joan Rivers
"I have successfully completed the thirty-year transition from wanting to stay up late to just wanting to go to bed." - Unknown
"Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician." - Anonymous
"Today, you’re 50. Now we can round your age up to 100! Happy 50th birthday!" - Dave Barry"
"I’m at that age where my back goes out more than I do." - Phyllis Diller
"Nobody expects to trust his body much after the age of fifty." - Alexander Hamilton
"I was thinking about how people seem to read the bible a lot more as they get older, and then it dawned on me—they’re cramming for their final exam."- George Carlin
"A stockbroker urged me to buy a stock that would triple its value every year. I told him, ‘At my age, I don’t even buy green bananas.’" - Claude Pepper
“You spend 90 percent of your adult life hoping for a long rest and the last 10 percent trying to convince the Lord that you’re actually not that tired.” – Robert Brault
"We don’t grow older, we grow riper." - Pablo Picasso
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