“I have a passion for not cooking.”
― Unknown
“I want to tell you about the "sausage principle." The theory says, "If you love something, never try to find out how it is done."”
― Unknown
"I was a vegetarian until I started leaning toward the sunlight."
– Rita Rudner
"I really don't think I need buns of steel. I'd be happy with buns of cinnamon."
— Ellen DeGeneres
"A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand."
— Barbara Johnson
"I am not a glutton – I am an explorer of food."
– Erma Bombeck
“Little known fact, gentlemen. Tacos are the food of genius.”
― Heather Brewer
"When you see a couple walking down the street holding hands and laughing, you look over to your side and the only thing you're holding is a half-eaten sandwich."
— Violet Matters
"Life is uncertain. Eat dessert first."
– Ernestine Ulmer
"Never eat more than you can lift."
— Miss Piggy
“Some people can eat anything they want and stay slim. I put on weight just by reading the recipe.”
― Unknown
“My mind says ‘abs’ but my heart says ‘cheese fries’.”
― Unknown
“My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way.”
― Henny Youngman
"If more of us valued food and cheer and song above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world."
– J.R.R. Tolkien
“When you are stressed you eat ice cream, cake, chocolate and sweets because stressed spelled backward is desserts.”
― Unknown
“Diet day #1: All the unhealthy food has been removed from the house. It was delicious.”
― Unknown
"Carbs are the answer. No matter the question."
— Unknown
“Pizza is like the entire food pyramid!”
― Madeline Oles
"Americans will eat garbage provided you sprinkle it liberally with ketchup."
— Henry James
“Stomach: I will now demonstrate a blue whale’s mating call.”
― Unknown
"Strength is the capacity to break a chocolate bar into four pieces with your bare hands - and then eat just one of the pieces."
— Judith Viorst
"I lost some weight once, but I found it again in the fridge."
— Unknown
“Today I bought a doughnut without sprinkles. This diet thing is hard.”
― Unknown
"I'm not sure what makes pepperoni so good if it's the pepper or the oni."
— Ulrik Stephens
“You can’t make everyone happy. You’re not pizza.”
― Unknown
"The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for thirty years she served the family nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found."
— Calvin Trillin
“Who knew that the hardest part of being an adult is figuring out what to cook for dinner every single night for the rest of your life.”
― Unknown
"When the waitress asked if I wanted my pizza cut into four or eight slices, I said, 'Four. I don't think I can eat eight."
— Yogi Berra
“Unless you are a pizza, the answer is yes, I can live without you.”
― Bill Murray
"The trouble with eating Italian food is that five or six days later, you're hungry again."
— George Miller
"Promises and pie-crust are made to be broken."
— Jonathan Swift
"After a good dinner, one can forgive anybody, even one's own relations."
— Oscar Wilde
“I eat cake every day because somewhere out there it’s someone’s birthday and I like to celebrate.”
― Unknown
"Popcorn for breakfast! Why not? It’s a grain. It’s like, like, grits, but with high self-esteem."
– James Patterson
"In these difficult times, when so many people are having trouble finding enough to eat, we are extending the “five-second rule” to a full ten seconds."
– Ron Piraro
“Every pizza is a personal pizza if you try hard and believe in yourself.”
― Bill Murray
"I just want someone to look at me the way I look at food."
— Unknown
"An onion can make people cry but there's never been a vegetable that can make people laugh."
— Will Rogers
"There's no better feeling in the world than a warm pizza box on your lap."
— Kevin James
"Snack time heals all wounds."
— Bridger Winegar
"I don't share blame. I don't share credit. And I don't share desserts"
– Beverly Sills
"Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education."
— Mark Twain
“The key to my heart looks a whole lot like a plate of pasta.”
― Unknown
"The trouble with eating Italian food is that, five or six days later, you're hungry again."
– George Miller
"I'm not sure how the average American would differentiate National Dessert Day from any other day."
– Andy Borowitz
"Wait. Why am I thinking about Krispy Kremes? We're supposed to be exercising."
— Meg Cabot
“Love and sausage are alike. Can never have enough of either.”
— Trixie Koontz
"You can tell a lot about a fellow's character by his way of eating jelly beans."
— Ronald Reagan
“Everything goes better with tacos.”
― Rachel Caine
“All my life I thought air was free until I bought a bag of chips.”
― Unknown