“If we’re not meant to have midnight snacks, why is there a light in the fridge?”
― Unknown
“Every day is National Donut Day if you put your mind to it.”
― Unknown
“Nutrition labels should include a “What if I ate the whole thing” section.”
― Unknown
“Every pizza is a personal pizza if you try hard and believe in yourself.”
― Bill Murray
“All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt.”
― Charles M. Schulz
“Abs are temporary. Chocolate is forever.”
― Unknown
“If you know how many cupcakes I’m holding behind my back I’ll give you both of them.”
― Unknown
"A fruit is a vegetable with looks and money. Plus, if you let fruit rot, it turns into wine, something Brussels sprouts never do."
– P. J. O’Rourke
“Everything goes better with tacos.”
― Rachel Caine
"If we shake out all of the crumbs from all of the keyboards in the world, we can end world hunger."
— Matthew Dolkart
"As a child, my family's menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it."
— Buddy Hackett
"I was a vegetarian until I started leaning toward the sunlight."
– Rita Rudner
"The trouble with eating Italian food is that, five or six days later, you're hungry again."
– George Miller
“The only clubs I’m interested in are sandwiches.”
― Unknown
“I eat cake every day because somewhere out there it’s someone’s birthday and I like to celebrate.”
― Unknown
“I won’t be impressed with technology until I can download food.”
― Unknown
“Little known fact, gentlemen. Tacos are the food of genius.”
― Heather Brewer
“I have a passion for not cooking.”
― Unknown
“Those pizzas I ate were for medicinal purposes.”
― Amy Neftzger
“A pizza slice a day keeps sadness away.”
― Jet Paacal
“All my life I thought air was free until I bought a bag of chips.”
― Unknown
"Anything is good if it's made of chocolate."
— Jo Brand
"The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for thirty years she served the family nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found."
— Calvin Trillin
"I'm not sure what makes pepperoni so good if it's the pepper or the oni."
— Ulrik Stephens
"Fettucini alfredo is macaroni and cheese for adults."
– Mitch Hedberg
"Without ice cream, there would be darkness and chaos."
– Don Kardong
“I’m like Pacman when I’m at a party, I eat everything and run away from anyone coming close to me.”
― Unknown
"Life is too short for self-hatred and celery sticks."
– Marilyn Wann
"When the waitress asked if I wanted my pizza cut into four or eight slices, I said, 'Four. I don't think I can eat eight."
— Yogi Berra
“You only live once… Lick the bowl!”
― Unknown
“Love means never having to say “Should we get dessert?”
― Unknown
"Humor keeps us alive. Humor and food. Don't forget food. You can go a week without laughing."
— Joss Whedon
“Who knew that the hardest part of being an adult is figuring out what to cook for dinner every single night for the rest of your life.”
― Unknown
"If I hold a can of soda up to my ear and listen carefully, I can hear my bones pleading for a glass of milk."
– Bridger Winegar
“You can’t make everyone happy. You’re not pizza.”
― Unknown
“Some people can eat anything they want and stay slim. I put on weight just by reading the recipe.”
― Unknown
"Promises and pie-crust are made to be broken."
— Jonathan Swift
"A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand."
— Barbara Johnson
"I am not a glutton – I am an explorer of food."
– Erma Bombeck
"Watermelon - it's a good fruit. You eat, you drink, you wash your face."
— Enrico Caruso
“Red meat is not bad for you. Now, blue-green meat—that’s bad for you!”
— Tom Smothers
"The 12-step chocoholics program: Never be more than 12 steps away from chocolate!"
— Terry Moore
"When you see a couple walking down the street holding hands and laughing, you look over to your side and the only thing you're holding is a half-eaten sandwich."
— Violet Matters
“I didn’t get this physique by not eating tacos.”
― Jon Tester
“I bought a calming tea but the smell and taste is making me nervous.”
― Unknown
"The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not."
— Mark Twain
"Snack time heals all wounds."
— Bridger Winegar
"Life is uncertain. Eat dessert first."
– Ernestine Ulmer
"Americans will eat garbage provided you sprinkle it liberally with ketchup."
— Henry James
"In these difficult times, when so many people are having trouble finding enough to eat, we are extending the “five-second rule” to a full ten seconds."
– Ron Piraro
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