Do you have to leave so soon? I was just going to poison your drink.
My love for you is like diarrhea. I just can't hold it in.
What's a slut like you doing in a classy joint like this?
For a fatty, you don't seem to sweat much.
Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Because you obviously landed on your face.
Did you fall from heaven? Because so did Satan.
I dreamt about you. You died.
How are you still so fat when you've been running in my mind for so long?
You know the more I drink, the prettier you get!
Roses are red, violets are blue. I have a gun, get in the van!
The last time I saw a body like yours, I was burying it in my basement.
Excuse me, I just farted over there. Can I stand here with you?
The fact that I'm missing some teeth only means that there's more room for your tongue.
My mom told me it would be good for my self-esteem if I asked out people who aren't conventionally attractive.
You owe me a drink, you're so ugly I dropped mine when I saw you.
Are your parents retarded, 'cause you sure are special.
I used to go out with a homeless girl, like you. It was great. I could drop her off anywhere.
I love you so much I would eat the corn from your poop.
Hold still, there's a mosquito on your a$$.
You're like the neighbors' WiFi. Everyone wants to use you.
Are you crippling depression and anxiety? Because you haunt me at every waking hour.
You look like trash, may I take you out?
You're the thought that counts!
I hear you're looking for a stud. Well, I've got the STD and all I need is you.
Are you a durian? Because you're a total snack, but you smell like rotting flesh.
Just like I never play with poop, I promise you that I will never play with your heart.
Your eyes are as blue as toilet water.
I'm willing to lower my standards if you're going on a date with me.
My love for you is like cancer, it just keeps growing and growing.
Do you wanna come dance with the big bad wolf? [ No! ] Its okay, the other two pigs said no too!
I would ask you if you're tired from running through my mind all day, but from the looks of it, you don't do any running.
Is that a discharge in your underwear, or are you just happy to see me?
Damn! You're almost as hot as my sister/brother.
I love you so much that If you were suddenly on fire, I'd pee on you.
How much does a polar bear weigh? Less than you, I would guess.
You looking at me is making me turn as red as that roasted beet salad.
Just call me your baby, cause I wanna be inside you for the next 9 months.
You smell... We should go take a shower together.
Are you Ebala? Because you melt my insides.
You look a lot like my next victim.
Pies aren't the new cupcakes, baby. You are.
You're so fine that I wouldn't care if you were dead or alive!
Are you a booger? Because I want to pick you first.