Roses are red, violets are blue. I have a gun, get in the van!
How much does a polar bear weigh? Less than you, I would guess.
Are you ice cream? Because your face looks like rocky road.
Are your parents retarded, 'cause you sure are special.
The fact that I'm missing some teeth only means that there's more room for your tongue.
On a scale of 1 to 10, how much do I smell like your mom/dad?
Are you a durian? Because you're a total snack, but you smell like rotting flesh.
Do you want to be disappointed tonight?
I love you so much that If you were suddenly on fire, I'd pee on you.
You're the thought that counts!
Just like I never play with poop, I promise you that I will never play with your heart.
The last time I saw a body like yours, I was burying it in my basement.
How are you still so fat when you've been running in my mind for so long?
Are you the future? Because you're looking hopeless and bleak.
Wow, you have a the chin of Superman. I bet you could take a serious punch.
My love for you is like cancer, it just keeps growing and growing.
You look like trash, may I take you out?
My mom told me it would be good for my self-esteem if I asked out people who aren't conventionally attractive.
Excuse me, I just farted over there. Can I stand here with you?
You're like the neighbors' WiFi. Everyone wants to use you.
Roses are red, violets are blue, Antarctica is hot compared to you.
Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Because you obviously landed on your face.
Your eyes are as blue as toilet water.
If I could rewrite the alphabet, I would P on U.
How much will $20 get me?
I'd drink your bathwater.
My love for you is like diarrhea. I just can't hold it in.
I used to go out with a homeless girl, like you. It was great. I could drop her off anywhere.
You looking at me is making me turn as red as that roasted beet salad.
Are you a human? Just making sure.
Is that a discharge in your underwear, or are you just happy to see me?
I love you so much I would eat the corn from your poop.
Hold still, there's a mosquito on your a$$.
Are you an alarm clock? Because I want to kill you.
I just pooped in my bed. Can I sleep in yours?
I accidentally pooped in my pants. Can I get into yours?
I'm willing to lower my standards if you're going on a date with me.
You look a lot like my next victim.
Hold still, there's a mosquito on your a$$.
Are you crippling depression and anxiety? Because you haunt me at every waking hour.
You smell... We should go take a shower together.
Are you Ebala? Because you melt my insides.
You're kind of ugly and fat. Lucky for you, I'm into those things.