Are you a human? Just making sure.
I just pooped in my bed. Can I sleep in yours?
If you were even half as gorgeous as me, I'd consider sleeping with you.
Are you an alarm clock? Because I want to kill you.
For a fatty, you don't seem to sweat much.
I bet your muffled screams are as cute as u.
Do you want to be disappointed tonight?
Are you crippling depression and anxiety? Because you haunt me at every waking hour.
You're so fine that I wouldn't care if you were dead or alive!
My mom told me it would be good for my self-esteem if I asked out people who aren't conventionally attractive.
You smell just like my mom, want to grab a drink?
You smell. We should go take a shower together.
Are you the future? Because you're looking hopeless and bleak.
I used to go out with a homeless girl, like you. It was great. I could drop her off anywhere.
Since all the hot ones are already taken, this is going to be your lucky night!
Are you Ebala? Because you melt my insides.
You owe me a drink, you're so ugly I dropped mine when I saw you.
I would ask you if you're tired from running through my mind all day, but from the looks of it, you don't do any running.
I'd drink your bathwater.
Roses are red, violets are blue, Antarctica is hot compared to you.
If I could rewrite the alphabet, I would P on U.
How are you still so fat when you've been running in my mind for so long?
You're that ugly that if I could do myself, I wouldn't need you.
You're like the neighbors' WiFi. Everyone wants to use you.
You're the thought that counts!
I dreamt about you. You died.
I was just curious? Are you as good as all the guys say you are?
Are your parents retarded, 'cause you sure are special.
Do you wanna come dance with the big bad wolf? [ No! ] Its okay, the other two pigs said no too!
You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away.
I accidentally pooped in my pants. Can I get into yours?
Honestly, I'm into necrophilia. Wanna come home and play dead?
How hot does your gas oven get?
Hold still, there's a mosquito on your a$$.
Pies aren't the new cupcakes, baby. You are.
You looking at me is making me turn as red as that roasted beet salad.
Excuse me, I just farted over there. Can I stand here with you?
I love you so much I would eat the corn from your poop.
I like my partners, like how i like my fast-food meals. Extra-large!
How much does a polar bear weigh? Less than you, I would guess.
You look a lot like my next victim.
My feelings of love for you are like the stars in the sky. They're probably long dead.
I'm willing to lower my standards if you're going on a date with me.