Do you have to leave so soon? I was just going to poison your drink.
Is that a discharge in your underwear, or are you just happy to see me?
You know the more I drink, the prettier you get!
You looking at me is making me turn as red as that roasted beet salad.
Hold still, there's a mosquito on your a$$.
I dreamt about you. You died.
I was just curious? Are you as good as all the guys say you are?
Did you fall from heaven? Because so did Satan.
Are you ice cream? Because your face looks like rocky road.
Is your mom a hooker? Cause I'm hooked on you.
I'm willing to lower my standards if you're going on a date with me.
Are you an alarm clock? Because I want to kill you.
Pies aren't the new cupcakes, baby. You are.
I like my partners, like how i like my fast-food meals. Extra-large!
Do you wanna come dance with the big bad wolf? [ No! ] Its okay, the other two pigs said no too!
My love for you is like cancer, it just keeps growing and growing.
I love you so much I would eat the corn from your poop.
How much will $20 get me?
Are you a human? Just making sure.
Wow, you have a the chin of Superman. I bet you could take a serious punch.
Just call me your baby, cause I wanna be inside you for the next 9 months.
I would ask you if you're tired from running through my mind all day, but from the looks of it, you don't do any running.
You're like the neighbors' WiFi. Everyone wants to use you.
You're kind of ugly and fat. Lucky for you, I'm into those things.
Your eyes are as blue as toilet water.
You're the thought that counts!
Roses are red, violets are black, why is your chest as flat as my back?
You're so fine that I wouldn't care if you were dead or alive!
Damn! You're almost as hot as my sister/brother.
Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Because you obviously landed on your face.
How much does a polar bear weigh? Less than you, I would guess.
My feelings of love for you are like the stars in the sky. They're probably long dead.
How hot does your gas oven get?
You look like trash, may I take you out?
Are you Ebala? Because you melt my insides.
I accidentally pooped in my pants. Can I get into yours?
Honestly, I'm into necrophilia. Wanna come home and play dead?
You're that ugly that if I could do myself, I wouldn't need you.
I just pooped in my bed. Can I sleep in yours?
How are you still so fat when you've been running in my mind for so long?
The fact that I'm missing some teeth only means that there's more room for your tongue.
You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away.
I hear you're looking for a stud. Well, I've got the STD and all I need is you.