I'm willing to lower my standards if you're going on a date with me.
How much will $20 get me?
Are you Ebala? Because you melt my insides.
You're so fine that I wouldn't care if you were dead or alive!
Hold still, there's a mosquito on your a$$.
I used to go out with a homeless girl, like you. It was great. I could drop her off anywhere.
You're like the neighbors' WiFi. Everyone wants to use you.
Are you an alarm clock? Because I want to kill you.
You smell. We should go take a shower together.
You smell just like my mom, want to grab a drink?
My love for you is like diarrhea. I just can't hold it in.
I was just curious? Are you as good as all the guys say you are?
Are you crippling depression and anxiety? Because you haunt me at every waking hour.
What's a slut like you doing in a classy joint like this?
I'd drink your bathwater.
Is that a discharge in your underwear, or are you just happy to see me?
You know the more I drink, the prettier you get!
You looking at me is making me turn as red as that roasted beet salad.
I love you so much that If you were suddenly on fire, I'd pee on you.
Did you fall from heaven? Because so did Satan.
Are you ice cream? Because your face looks like rocky road.
Roses are red, violets are black, why is your chest as flat as my back?
You're kind of ugly and fat. Lucky for you, I'm into those things.
You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away.
Hold still, there's a mosquito on your a$$.
Are you the future? Because you're looking hopeless and bleak.
Wow, you have a the chin of Superman. I bet you could take a serious punch.
You're the thought that counts!
Honestly, I'm into necrophilia. Wanna come home and play dead?
Are you a durian? Because you're a total snack, but you smell like rotting flesh.
How are you still so fat when you've been running in my mind for so long?
Are you a human? Just making sure.
I dreamt about you. You died.
My mom told me it would be good for my self-esteem if I asked out people who aren't conventionally attractive.
Roses are red, violets are blue. I have a gun, get in the van!
For a fatty, you don't seem to sweat much.
How much does a polar bear weigh? Less than you, I would guess.
On a scale of 1 to 10, how much do I smell like your mom/dad?
Do you want to be disappointed tonight?
Do you have to leave so soon? I was just going to poison your drink.
Since all the hot ones are already taken, this is going to be your lucky night!
Are you a booger? Because I want to pick you first.
You look a lot like my next victim.
How hot does your gas oven get?
Pies aren't the new cupcakes, baby. You are.
Is your mom a hooker? Cause I'm hooked on you.
I would ask you if you're tired from running through my mind all day, but from the looks of it, you don't do any running.
I accidentally pooped in my pants. Can I get into yours?
Just like I never play with poop, I promise you that I will never play with your heart.
Your eyes are as blue as toilet water.