"Look, in my opinion, the best thing you can do is find a person who loves you for exactly what you are. Good mood, bad mood, ugly, pretty, handsome, what have you. The right person is still going to think the sun shines out of your ass." - Mac MacGuff in Juno
“I believe someone made a grievous mistake when summer was created; no novitiate or god in their right mind would make a season akin to hell on purpose. Someone should be fired.”
― Michelle Franklin
“The thing about parenting rules is there aren’t any. That’s what makes it so difficult.”
- Ewan McGregor.
“To be a successful father there’s one absolute rule: when you have a kid, don’t look at it for the first two years.”
- Ernest Hemingway.
“Most of what we call management consists of making it difficult for people to get their work done.” — Peter Drucker
"In the family sandwich, the older people and the younger ones can recognize one another as the bread. Those in the middle are, for a time, the meat." - Anna Quindlen
“Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.”
Erma Bombeck
“Money may not buy happiness, but I’d rather cry in a Jaguar than on a bus.”
– Francoise Sagan
“Becoming a mom to me means that you have accepted that for the next 16 years of your life, you will have a sticky purse.”
- Nia Vardalos.
“You cannot be anything if you want to be everything.”
Solomon Schechter
“If women didn’t exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning." ~Aristotle Onassis
"People who throw kisses are hopelessly lazy."
- Bob Hope
"Taxes grow without rain."
- Jewish Proverb
"The best abs exercise is five sets of stop eating so much..."
– Lazar Angelov
“My wife and I were happy for 20 years. Then we met.” — Rodney Dangerfield
“Some family trees bear an enormous crop of nuts.”—Wayne Huizenga
“I remember when yoga was called Twister.” – Unknown
“Never doubt the courage of the French. They were the ones who discovered that snails are edible.”
Doug Larson
“When in doubt, yoga it out.” – Unknown
“Some people can eat anything they want and stay slim. I put on weight just by reading the recipe.”
― Unknown
"Love is blind but marriage is a real eye-opener."
- Pauline Thomason
“This crisp winter air is full of it.” – John Burroughs
“There is no sincerer love than the love of food.” —George Bernard Shaw
"We live by the golden rule. Those who have the gold make the rules." ~ Unknown
"The difference between death and taxes is death doesn't get worse every time Congress meets."
- Will Rogers
“Family ties mean that no matter how much you might want to run from your family, you can’t.”—Unknown
“I’ve never met an animal I didn’t like, and I can’t say the same thing about people.”
- Doris Day.
“I really need a day in-between Sunday and Monday.”
“Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life!”
“Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?”
George Carlin
"Health is merely the slowest way someone can die."
“Home, nowadays, is a place where part of the family waits till the rest of the family brings the car back.”
- Earl Wilson.
“An archeologist is the best husband a woman can have. The older she gets, the more interested he is in her.”—Agatha Christie.
“Obviously, if I was serious about having a relationship with someone long-term, the last people I would introduce him to would be my family.”—Chelsea Handler
“As wonderful as dogs can be, they are famous for missing the point.”—Jean Ferris
"What is a home without children. Quiet." – Henny Youngman
"It's funny when people think 'yoga people' are supposed to be calm. No. We're all here because we're nuts." — Unknown
"Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship." ― Sharon Stone
“What is the only flaw of being intelligent?…that you have to deal with stupid people.”
Anonymous
"I have a rock garden. Last week three of them died."
- Richard Diran
“In order to maintain a well-balanced perspective, the person who has a dog to worship him should also have a cat to ignore him.” —Peterborough Examiner, Canada
“We live by the Golden Rule. Those who have the gold make the rules." ~Buzzie Bavasi
"I never worry about diets. The only carrots that interest me are the number ou get in a diamond"- Mae West
“It’s Thanksgiving, and we should not want to be together, together!” —Rachel Green, Friends
“You dropped your kid off a changing table? Stuff just happens, okay? Last week, my kid ate a cigarette. I caught him playing in the dryer yesterday. I picked up the wrong baby from daycare. I found my baby swimming in the toilet. No judging.”
- 'What To Expect When You Are Expecting'.
"Marriage is like a walk in the park. Jurassic Park." - Anonymous
“I might look like I am listening to you, but in my mind, I am hiking.”
“Yoga is not about tightening your ass. It’s about getting your head out of it.” — Eric Paskel
“Mondays are a lot like getting fat. They make you feel sad, sometimes angry and there is not much scope for liking either fat or Mondays for any reason.”
– Garry Moll
“I have noticed that even people who claim everything is predetermined and that we can do nothing to change it look before they cross the road.”
Stephen Hawking