“Carpe per diem – seize the check.” – Robin Williams.
"If love is the answer, could you please re-phrase the question?"
- Lily Tomlin
"Do you have any idea how cheap stocks are? Wall Street is now being called Wall Mart Street." ~ Jay Leno
“Coworkers are like Christmas lights. They hang together, half of them don’t work and the other half aren’t so bright.” – Anonymous
"Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for him."
“Yoga is too slow.” — Rob Gronkowski
Religion is what keeps the poor from murdering the rich. -- Napoleon
"Help me! I'm on a family vacation!"
"I like long romantic walks down every aisle at Target." - Unknown
“The best thing about animals is that they don’t talk much.”
- Thornton Wilder.
“Thanks to yoga, I now gently stretch to conclusions rather than jumping to them.” – Unknown
“Dogs are great. Bad dogs, if you can really call them that, are perhaps the greatest of them all.”—John Grogan
“Sunshine and happiness go together like fish and chips!”
― Catherine Pulsifer
"Every morning is good; it’s not his fault that someone didn’t sleep well."
– Unknown
“When life hands you lemons, give them back. You deserve chocolate.”
― Unknown
"Well, Art is Art, isn't it? Still, on the other hand, water is water. And east is east and west is west and if you take cranberries and stew them like applesauce they taste much more like prunes than rhubarb does. Now you tell me what you know."
“I’m looking forward to seeing pie this Thanksgiving more than members of my own family.” —Damien Fahey
Steve Martin
The last woman I was in was the Statue of Liberty.
“A good friend just told me that the key to a successful marriage was to argue naked! I’m gonna do that from now on, when that rarely happens.”
— LeAnn Rimes
I don't believe in astrology. The only stars I can blame for my failures are those that walk about the stage.
― Noel Coward
"Nobody expects to trust his body much after the age of fifty." - Alexander Hamilton
"All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt."
— Charles M. Shulz
"It's amazing how much stuff we get done the day before vacation?"
- Zig Ziglar
"You can’t put a price tag on love. But if you could, I’d wait for it to go on sale." — Hussein Nishah
“Good advice is something a man gives when he is too old to set a bad example.”
Francois de La Rochefoucauld
“If only God would give me a clear sign, like making a large deposit in my swiss bank account." ~ Woody Allen
“Climbing to the top of the mountain is fun, but everything is just downhill from there.”
“Smiling is mouth yoga.” — Thich Nhat Hanh
“People do not wish to appear foolish; to avoid the appearance of foolishness, they are willing to remain actually fools.”
- Alice Walker
“If you fall, I’ll be there. Love, Your Mat” -Unknown
"What does it mean to pre-board? Do you get on before you get on?"
- George Carlin
“Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.”
George Carlin
“I do Yoga to relieve stress… Just kidding I drink wine in yoga pants.” — Anonymous
"I'll have a double cappuccino, half-caf, non-fat milk, with enough foam to be aesthetically pleasing, but not so much that it would leave a mustache."
— Niles Crane
“On my income tax 1040 it says “Check this box if you are blind.” I wanted to put a check-mark about three inches away.”
– Tom Lehrer
“Budget: a mathematical confirmation of your suspicions." ~A.A. Latimer
"Never trust a skinny cook."
– Iain Hewitson
“All the things I like to do are either immoral, illegal, or fattening.” —Alexander Woollcott
If there were no God, there would be no atheists. -- G. K. Chesterton
“I am convinced digestion is the great secret to life.”
Sydney Smith
“I love you no matter what you do, but do you have to do so much of it?”—Jean Illsley Clarke
“A messy house is a must—it separates your true friends from other friends. Real friends are there to visit you not your house!”
— Jennifer Wilson
“There is nothing better than a friend, unless it is a friend with chocolate.”
Linda Grayson
“I love America, but I can’t spend the whole year here. I can’t afford the taxes.”
— Mick Jagger
"The income tax has made more liars out of the American people than golf has."
- Will Rogers
"The only time to eat diet food is while you're waiting for the steak to cook."
— Julia Child
“There’s no need for a piece of sculpture in a home that has a cat.”
- Wesley Bates.
"A Taurus always appears to be calm and steady, even when they feel like punching you in the face."
— Unknown
“Straight roads are for fast cars, turns are for fast drivers.”
— Colin McRae
“I might look like I am listening to you, but in my mind, I am hiking.”