“Your body is not a temple, it’s an amusement park. Enjoy the ride.”
― Anthony Bourdain
“How to get a yoga body: 1. Have a body 2. Do yoga.” – Unknown
“Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog. Few people are interested and the frog dies of it.”
E. B. White
“My dad used to say, ‘Always fight fire with fire.’ Which is probably why he got thrown out of the fire brigade.”—Harry Hill
“After scolding one’s cat one looks into its face and is seized by the ugly suspicion that it understood every word. And has filed it for reference.”
- Charlotte Gray.
“People are still willing to do an honest day’s work. The problem is they want a week’s pay for it.” – Joey Adams
They say marriages are made in Heaven. But so is thunder and lightning.
Clint Eastwood
“Grandparents are there to help the child get into mischief they haven’t thought of yet.”—Gene Perret
“Marriage is like a game of chess, except the board is flowing water, the pieces are made of smoke and no move you make will have any effect on the outcome.” - Jenny Seinfeld
"Marriage is like pantyhose. It all depends on what you put into it." — Phyllis Schlafly
"Husbands are like fires - they go out when unattended." - Zsa Zsa Gabor
"Marriage is a bond between a person who never remembers anniversaries and another who never forgets them." - Anonymous
“Anybody who tells you money can’t buy happiness never had any.” —Samuel L. Jackson
“Working is bad enough in the winter, but in the summer it can become completely intolerable.”-
Tom Hodgkinson
“An expert is a man who has made all the mistakes which can be made in a very narrow field.” — Niels Bohr
“There’s no such thing as bad weather, just soft people.”
– Bill Bowerman
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
Lana Turner
“No man goes before his time—unless the boss leaves early.” — Groucho Marx
“Don’t believe everything fortune cookies tell you. Just because they’re sweet doesn’t mean they’re right.”
― Unknown
“Don’t worry about the world coming to an end today. It is already tomorrow in Australia.”
Charles M. Schulz
“Turkey: A large bird whose flesh, when eaten on certain religious anniversaries, has the peculiar property of attesting piety and gratitude.” —Ambrose Bierce
“Somedays you eat salad and go do Yoga. Somedays you eat cupcakes and refuse to put on pants. This is called balance.” — Unknown
“There is no worse parent than an unhappy parent!”
― Rossana Condoleo
“A lot of people like snow. I find it to be an unnecessary freezing of water.”
– Carl Reiner
"Your first job is to prepare the soil. The best tool for this is your neighbor's motorized garden tiller. If your neighbor does not own a garden tiller, suggest that he buy one."
- Dave Barry
“The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing – and then marry him.” — Cher
"My routine is to ride that snooze button as far as it will take me, take a quick shower, get dressed in the dark and bolt out the door."
— Willie Geist
“Friends buy you food. Best friends eat your food.”
— Unknown
“Outside of a dog, a book is a man’s best friend. Inside of a dog, it’s too dark to read.”
- Groucho Marx.
"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines, sail away from the safe harbour. Catch the winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover."
- Mark Twain
“Friendship is like money, easier made than kept.”
– Samuel Butler
“Siblings that say they never fight are most definitely hiding something.”—Lemony Snicket, Horseradish
“I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage.”
- Erma Bombeck
"Women should be obscene and not heard."
"A change of latitude would help my attitude."
“If owl parties aren't called hootenannies, this world will never make sense again."
- Reverend Badger
"True love is singing karaoke 'Under Pressure' and letting the other person sing the Freddie Mercury part." Mindy Kaling
"I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by."
~ Douglas Adams
"I haven’t worn these trousers since I bought them. I should definitely pack them for my 3-day vacation. Just in case."
Steve Martin
The last woman I was in was the Statue of Liberty.
“Yoga is not about tightening your ass. It’s about getting your head out of it.” — Eric Paskel
“Enjoy every second of Sunday, for when you least expect Monday comes to haunt you.”
“Heat, ma'am! It was so dreadful here that I found there was nothing left for it but to take off my flesh and sit in my bones.”
- Sydney Smith
"Let's have a moment of silence for all those Americans who are stuck in traffic on their way to the gym to ride the stationary bicycle."
- Earl Blumenauer.
"My mother loved children - she would have given anything if I had been one."
"A truly appreciative child will break, lose, spoil, or fondle to death any really successful gift within a matter of minutes." – Russell Lynes
"A journey is like marriage. The certain way to be wrong is to think you control it."
- John Steinbeck
“No matter how much time you spend reading books or following your intuition, you’re gonna screw it up. Fifty times. You can’t do parenting right.”
- Alan Arkin.
“Yes, I deserve a spring – I owe nobody nothing."
– Virginia Woolf
"An onion can make people cry but there's never been a vegetable that can make people laugh."
— Will Rogers