Funny Pick Up Lines

Horrifically bad and funny pick up lines from men and from women

Funny Pick Up Lines

You are the square to my root.
Are you Australia? Cause your geographical location is hot.
I want to be a drop of your blood, so I could travel your body and sleep in your heart.
Hi, Cupid just called. He wanted me to tell you that he needs my heart back. Would you do that?
Hey girl, I’m not just going to show you the world, I’ll show you the universe.
Donut take this the wrong way, but I just want to sprinkle you with sugar and spice.
Boy: You know quickie has u And i together.
Girl: Too bad ugly starts with a u.
How about a kanga-root?
I'm an outfielder – I'll catch you.
You: Can I borrow a quarter?
She: why? (if she says sure or something else get her to ask you why).
You: so I can call my mom and tell her I just met the girl of my dreams.
I dreamt about you. You died.
My personal trainer said I have to come over and talk to you for five minutes as part of my routine.
Hey, are you okay-leb?
Hey there, will you Vio-let me take you out sometime this weekend?
You can stop running after your dreams. I am right here.
Can I bother you for an aspirin tablet? Just looking at you from across the room is giving me heart-related pains.
The pool water isn’t very hot but you sure are.
Man: Hey baby, what's your sign?
Woman: Do not enter.
Whenever I look at you I see something more desirable than chocolate.
Is that a mirror in your Bible? Because I see you reflecting Christ.
How about we get down to monkey business?
Theres a party in my pants and your invited.
You're hotter than sulfuric acid and sugar and you smell twice as sweet.
Do you like vegetables because I love you from my head tomatoes.
Hey, would you like to be lab partners? It would be a pleasure to do some anatomy and biology experiments with you.
Hey, I found you! You are the girl of my dreams.
We aren't even in hot yoga, but you have me sweating.
Permit me to restructure the periodic table of elements and I would place U and I together.
Of all the rocks in the world, I’d pick you.
I don't mean to brag, but I'm one of the fastest speed-readers in the tri-county area.
Kiss me! Let me taste your sweet lips before the asteroid destroys earth
Well well, you’ve John and got my attention for sure
Girl, your chromosomes have combined beautifully.
I'm like a Christmas present - you'll love waking up to me in the morning.
They can prohibit my alcohol, you intoxicate me enough.
Are you a barista? I like you a latte
"Let's hop on the good foot and do the bad thing."
- Austin Powers (1999)
Hi! Tell me a funny story about your dog. I know you've got one.
Giving me your number sounds like a fair trade.
Are you from South England? Cause you Brighton up my day.
If you were a function, then you’d be my asymptote ’cause I always tend toward you!
"I now pronounce you dumped and single. You may now kiss my ass."
Are you undressing me with your eyes?!
Give me your number so I can make the call.
I don’t know what I’d do without you, but starting tomorrow I’m going to give it a try.
You know the more I drink, the prettier you get!
That's a nice dress — where's the rest of it?
Are you an omelette? Because you’re making me egg-cited!
Hold me tight dear and I promise to send all my loving to you.
“I gotta warn ya, every man I’ve ever gone out with has been ruined.”
“Well, that’s what they get for messing with my girl.”
- Bugsy (1991)