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Well Jokes

Funny Groucho Marx Quotes
"Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others."
"I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course."
Easter Pick Up Lines
Are you cold? You look like you could use some hot chocolate… Well, here I am!
Funny Health Quotes
"Half the modern drugs could well be thrown out the window, except that the birds might eat them." - Martin H. Fischer
Fairy Puns
I'm investigating the tooth fairy, and it's going well...
I've managed to get a molar into her operation. I'm going to find out the tooth at the root of all this.
Kitchen Puns
Once we had a cooking exam. After I finished, teacher said, that it was well done
But I made Medium Rare.
Are You Pick Up Lines
Are you a bank loan? Well, you’ve certainly got my interest.
Garden Quotes
"The philosopher who said that work well done never needs doing over never weeded a garden."
- Ray D. Everson
Clothes Pick Up Lines
You'll never be as well dressed as I, but I'm willing to give you second place.
Friendship Quotes
"I'd walk through fire for my best friend. Well, not fire, that would be dangerous. But a super humid room... but not too humid because, you know... my hair."
— Unknown
“Friends are people who know you really well and like you anyway.”
— Greg Tamblyn
Ogre Puns
My wife threatened to leave me if I didn't stop making monster puns.
So I guess our relationship might as well be ogre.
Garden Puns
I had a job drilling holes for water. It was well boring.
Yard Puns
A man has found water while digging in his backyard. For many years, he used the water at home saving tons of money until one day, the water stopped flowing. So he dug a little bit further and found water again and used it for years until it also dried up. This time, he went further, brought a digging machine, and dug a deeper hole until he found water.
Neighbors, annoyed by the noise, called the local sheriff who arrives to check what was happening in the backyard. The sheriff discovering the scene in the backyard says:
"Well, well, well ... What have we got here?"
Spotify Pick Up Lines
Is Spotify down? Well the music in my house is now up. Wanna come by and listen to records?
Why Worry?
Why Worry? In life, there are really only two things to worry about. Either you are well, or you are sick: If you are well, there's nothing to worry about! If you are sick, there are two things to worry about. Either you get better, or you die. If you get better, there's nothing to worry about! If you die, there are two things to worry about. Going to Heaven, or going to Hell. If you go to Heaven, there's nothing to worry about! If you go to Hell, you'll be so busy shaking hands with all your friends that you won't have time to worry... So why worry at all??
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