Speak Jokes

"Before I speak, I have something important to say."
I used to own a raven. It could speak English, but the only word it could speak was "car".
The only difference between short people and gnomes is their ability to speak.
Thine forward voice, now, is to speak well of thine friend; thine backward voice is to utter foul speeches and to detract.
Thine forward voice, now, is to speak well of thine friend; thine backward voice is to utter foul speeches and to detract.
What if someone made fun of your height? Just reply, "Hey, grab a ladder, climb up it and speak to my face".
"You are so tall that I could hit a tree while walking."
"Hey, you need to speak loudly as I can't listen to you from up here".
When I was in grade school, one of my best friends spoke Mandarin. One day, he introduced me to his parents and I told them I don’t speak orange.
Which language do oranges use to speak to each other? Mandarin.
The Cursed Prince A prince was put under a spell so that he could speak only one word each year. If he didn’t speak for two years, the following year he could speak two words and so on. One day, he fell in love with a beautiful lady. He refrained from speaking for two whole years so he could call her “my darling.” But then he wanted to tell her he loved her, so he waited three more years. At the end of these five years, he wanted to ask her to marry him, so he waited another four years. Finally, as the ninth year of silence ended, he led the lady to the most romantic place in the kingdom and said, “My darling, I love you! Will you marry me?” And the lady said, “Pardon?”
A fairy appears in front of an old man.
"For the good things you've done in your life, I grant you three wishes!"

The old man squints and asks: "Can you speak up a bit? My hearing isn't the best anymore..."

The fairy replies: "SURE! YOU HAVE TWO WISHES!"
How does Frankenstein speak?
Frankly.
An inspirational speaker came to speak at the fruit stand today. He told us to peach for the stars.
“Hear no evil, see no evil, and speak no evil—and you’ll never get a job working for a tabloid.” – Phil Pastoreta consultant.” – Scott Adams
Why do zombies speak Latin?
It’s a dead language.
I just learned how to speak parrot.
I just learned how to speak parrot.
Want to start your day laughing? Register to our Daily Joke!
Did you mean:
Continue With: Facebook Google
By continuing, you agree to our T&C and Privacy Policy