Speak Jokes

I just learned how to speak parrot.
I just learned how to speak parrot.
What is a parrot’s favorite game?
Hide and Speak!
A fairy appears in front of an old man.
"For the good things you've done in your life, I grant you three wishes!"

The old man squints and asks: "Can you speak up a bit? My hearing isn't the best anymore..."

The fairy replies: "SURE! YOU HAVE TWO WISHES!"
An inspirational speaker came to speak at the fruit stand today. He told us to peach for the stars.
“Hear no evil, see no evil, and speak no evil—and you’ll never get a job working for a tabloid.” – Phil Pastoreta consultant.” – Scott Adams
How does Frankenstein speak?
Frankly.
"Before I speak, I have something important to say."
The Mute German Boy An American couple decided to adopt a little German boy. After two years, the child doesn’t speak and his parents start to worry about him. After three years, he still has not spoken and after four years, he has yet to utter a word. The American couple figure he is never going to speak but he is still a lovely child, and on his next birthday, they threw him a party and made him a chocolate cake with orange icing. The parents are in the kitchen when the boy comes in and says, “Mother, Father, I do not care for the orange icing on the chocolate cake.” My God,” says his mother. “You can speak?” To which the German boy replies, “Of course.” "How come you've never spoken before?“ asks his father. “Vell,” says the boy, “up until now, everything has been satisfactory.”
Why do zombies speak Latin?
It’s a dead language.
The Cursed Prince A prince was put under a spell so that he could speak only one word each year. If he didn’t speak for two years, the following year he could speak two words and so on. One day, he fell in love with a beautiful lady. He refrained from speaking for two whole years so he could call her “my darling.” But then he wanted to tell her he loved her, so he waited three more years. At the end of these five years, he wanted to ask her to marry him, so he waited another four years. Finally, as the ninth year of silence ended, he led the lady to the most romantic place in the kingdom and said, “My darling, I love you! Will you marry me?” And the lady said, “Pardon?”
Why did Julius Caesar never say thank you to anyone?
He didn't speak English.
What was the Romans' greatest achievement?
Learning to speak Latin!
Why did Karen press Ctrl-Shift-Esc on her keyboard?
Because she wanted to speak to the Task Manager!
I accidently sprayed deoderant in my mouth
Now every time I speak I have a weird Axe Scent.
I used to own a raven. It could speak English, but the only word it could speak was "car".
When I was in grade school, one of my best friends spoke Mandarin. One day, he introduced me to his parents and I told them I don’t speak orange.
Which language do oranges use to speak to each other? Mandarin.
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