What is it called when a blonde blows in another blonde's ear? Data transfer.
A blond rings up an airline. She asks, "How long are your flights from America to England?" The woman on the other end of the phone says, "Just a minute..." The blond says, "Thanks!" and hangs up the phone.
How do you change a blonde's mind? A1: Blow in her ear. A2: Buy her another beer.
A blonde was cruising down the highway at breakneck speed when a cop pulled her over.
“May I see your license and registration, please?” asked the cop.
Miffed, the blonde said, “I wish you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday you took away my license and today you want me to show it to you!”
Two blondes are walking down the road when one says "Look at that dog with one eye!"
The other blonde covers one of her eyes and says "Where?"
Why did the blonde put sugar on her bed? Because she wanted sweet dreams!
Dustin and Jane (both blonds) were delighted when finally their long wait to adopt a baby had come to an end.
The adoption center called and told them they had a wonderful Russian baby boy, and the couple took him without hesitation.
On the way home from the adoption center, they stopped by the local college so they each could enroll in night courses.
After they filled out the form, the registration clerk inquired, “What ever possessed you to study Russian?”
The couple said proudly, “We just adopted a Russian baby and in a year or so he’ll start to talk. We just want to be able to understand him.”
A blond gets in her car and notices her steering wheel, dashboard, and windshield is missing.
She calls the police and reports a theft.
When the police officer comes, he looks at the blond who is crying and and says, "Ma'am...you're sitting in the backseat..."
Did you hear about the blonde corn maze? It only had 1 stalk.
Why do blondes take the pill? So they know what day of the week it is.
Two blondes fell down a hole.
One said, "It's dark in here isn't it?" The other replied, "I don't know; I can't see!"
Why don't blondes call 911 in an emergency? They can't remember the number.
There was this guy who was married to a blonde, and each night he came home with a new blonde joke.
One night the wife got mad and decided to show him that she wasn't dumb.
She spent the whole next day learning all her states and capitals.
That night when he got home he told his joke.
She says, "I'm not so dumb. I know all of the states and capitals. Go ahead, quiz me."
He thought for a moment and asked, "What is the capital of Massachusetts?"
She quickly replied, "M"!
A Blond walks into a doctors office and says: "Doctor, what’s the problem with me? When I touch my arm, ouch! It hurts... When I touch my leg, ouch! it hurts... When I touch my head, ouch! It hurts... When I touch my chest, ouch! it really hurts!" The Doctor replies: "Your finger is broken."
Why do blondes wear their hair up? To catch everything that goes over their heads.
Why did the blonde have square boobs? Because she forgot to take the tissues out of the boxes.
Why did the Blonde go to Taco Bell? To pay her phone bill.
A blonde was cruising down the highway at breakneck speed when a cop pulled her over.
“May I see your license and registration, please?” asked the cop.
Miffed, the blonde said, “I wish you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday you took away my license and today you want me to show it to you!”
Why do Blondes always smile during lightning storms? They think their picture is being taken.
A redhead tells her blond stepsister, "I slept with a Brazilian." The blond replies, "Oh my God. You slut. How many is a brazilian?"
Why do blondes wear ponytails? To hide the valve stem!
Why do blondes wear hooped ear rings. So they have somewhere to put their feet when having se*.
Why can't the blonde write the number eleven? She didn't know which "1" came first!
“I got a compliment on my driving today,” said a blonde to her friend.
There was a note left on my windshield it said “parking fine”.
Did you hear about the blonde who gave her cat a bath? She still hasn't gotten all the hair off her tongue.
What do you call a blonde with half a brain? Gifted!
“I got a compliment on my driving today,” said a blond to her friend. There was a note left on my windshield it said “parking fine”.
What do you call 10 blondes standing ear to ear? A wind tunnel.
A boss tells a blonde applicant, "I'll give you $8 an hour, starting today, and in three months, I'll raise it to $10 an hour. So, when would you like to start?"
"Could I start In three months?"
A boss tells a blonde applicant, "I'll give you $8 an hour, starting today, and in three months, I'll raise it to $10 an hour.
So, when would you like to start?"
"In three months."
Why did the blond softball team always eat at Taco Bell before a game?
So they'd get more runs than the opponents.
A blond meets up with a friend as she's picking up her car from the mechanic.
"Everything ok with your car now?"
"Yes, thank goodness," the blond replies.
"Weren't you worried the mechanic might try to rip you off?"
"Yeah, but he didn't. I was so relieved when he told me all I needed was blinker fluid!"
A blond meets up with a friend as she's picking up her car from the mechanic.
"Everything ok with your car now?"
"Yes, thank goodness," the blond replies.
"Weren't you worried the mechanic might try to rip you off?"
"Yeah, but he didn't. I was so relieved when he told me all I needed was blinker fluid!"
Why was the blonde upset when she got her Driver's License? Because she got an "F" in se*.
What happened to the blonde Ice Hockey Team? They drowned in Spring Training
Why was the blonde woman talking into an envelope? She was trying to send a voicemail!
Why can't the blonde write the number eleven? She didn't know which "1" came first!
What do you call 10 blondes at the bottom of a pool? Air Pockets What has 12 feet and an IQ of 40? A Blonde-tourage.
What does a blonde and a beer bottle have in common? They're both empty from the neck up.
How do you confuse a blond?
Tell them to count the stairs on a escalator.
Two blondes were taking their first train trip to Warsaw on the train.
A vendor came down the corridor selling bananas which they’d never seen before.
Each bought one.
The first one eagerly peeled the banana and bit into it just as the train went into a tunnel.
When the train emerged from the tunnel, she looked across to her friend and said, “I wouldn’t eat that if I were you.”
“Why not?”
“I took one bite and went blind for half a minute.”
A blond rings up an airline.
She asks, "How long are your flights from America to England?"
The woman on the other end of the phone says, "Just a minute..."
The blond says, "Thanks!" and hangs up the phone.
How many blonde jokes are there?
One. The rest are all true stories.
What goes: vroooom-schreech, vrooom-schreech, vroooom-schreech? A blonde at a flashing red light
How do you confuse a blonde? Ask her to alphabetize a bag of M&Ms.
Why did the blonde take a ruler to bed? Because she wanted to measure how long he slept.
How does a blonde kill a worm?
She buries it.
How did the blonde try to kill the bird? She threw it off a cliff.
Did you hear about the blonde who stayed up all night to see where the sun went? It finally dawned on her!
Why did the blonde take a camera to bed? To record what she was going to dream that night.
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