The Doctor's Plants
The Doctor's Plants Two doctors, Dean and Gable, are treating a man with lung disease. They’re explaining how his smoking weed has led to his condition worsening. “But it’s just herbal!” the patient protested. “How can it be bad?” Dr. Jenkins sighed. “Nature isn't all innocent. Apricot stones contain lethal amounts of cyanide. There is a certain plant in my back garden - if you sit under it for just 5 minutes, you will die. Just because it’s natural doesn’t mean it’s safe for you!” The man seemed to accept that, and promised to stop his smoking. After he left, the doctors went to lunch. As they were sitting down to eat, Dr. Smith asked, “Oh by the way, what IS that plant that kills you if you sit under it?” “A water lily."
What kind of plant generates the most energy? A power plant.”
If you plant a light bulb in your garden, does it grow into a power plant?
Did you hear what the foolish gardener did?
The guy planted a light bulb and though he’d get a power plant.
My sister was anxious to do some landscaping at her new home, but then she called up sounding hopeless.
“I don’t think I’ll ever get these trees planted,” she moaned. “It says to plant in full sun, but it’s been cloudy for four days.”
Bodies in garden are a plant says wife
What do you get when you plant kisses? Tu-lips (two-lips)
Tried it Once...
Tried it Once... A sales representative stops at a small manufacturing plant. He presents a box of cigars to the manager as a gift. “No thanks." says the plant manager. "I tried smoking a cigar once, but I didn't like it". The sales rep shows his display case and then, hoping to clinch a sale, offers to take the manager out for a round of drinks. "No, thanks." the plant manager replies. "You know, I tried alcohol once, but didn't like it.” Then the salesman glances out the office window and sees a golf course. "I suppose you play golf" says the salesman. "I'd like to invite you to be a guest at my club". "That's kind of you, but no, thanks." the manager says. "I played golf once, but I didn't like it". Just then a young man enters the office. "Let me introduce my son, Mike.." says the plant manager. "Let me guess" the salesman replies with a bitter smile: "An only child?"
Why are trees the largest plant? Because they are truly tree-mendous.
What flowering plant is an amazing equestrian? The horse chestnut.
What types of plants do you get after you plant kisses? Tulips.
What is a skeleton’s favorite plant?
A bone-zai tree.
You're so beautiful, I wish I could plant you and grow a whole field of you.
So a man walked up to me and placed some soil, plant seeds and fertilizer on my head.
It was annoying at first, but I think it grew on me.
Did you hear what the foolish gardener did?
He planted a light bulb and thought he'd get a power plant.
What kind of socks do you need to plant cayenne pepper? Garden hose!
Why did the Apatosaurus devour the factory? Because she was a plant eater!