"I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by."
~ Douglas Adams
“The taxpayer—that’s someone who works for the federal government but doesn’t have to take the civil service examination.” — Ronald Reagan.
“The elevator to success is out of order. You’ll have to use the stairs… one step at a time.” — Joe Girard
“Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.” — Groucho Marx
"Learn from the mistakes of others. You can’t live long enough to make them all yourself."
~ Anonymous
“Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?” — Edgar Bergen
“Hard work spotlights the character of people: some turn up their sleeves, some turn up their noses, and some don’t turn up at all.” – Sam Ewing
“Going to work for a large company is like getting on a train. Are you going sixty miles an hour or is the train going sixty miles an hour and you’re just sitting still?” — J. Paul Getty
“I work for myself, which is fun. Except when I call in sick, I know I’m lying. – Rita Rudner
“It’s a shame that the only thing a man can do for eight hours a day is work. He can’t eat for eight hours; he can’t drink for eight hours; he can’t make love for eight hours. The only thing a man can do for eight hours is work.” — William Faulkner
“My boss told me to start every presentation with a joke. The first slide was my paycheck.” – Anonymous
“I always give 100% at Work: 10% Monday, 23% Tuesday, 40% Wednesday, 22% Thursday, and 5% Friday.” –Anonymous
“People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day!” — Anonymous
“There are two times in a man’s life when he should not speculate: when he can’t afford it, and when he can.” – Mark Twain
“Saving is a very fine thing. Especially when your parents have done it for you.” – Winston Churchill
“One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one’s work is terribly important.” — Bertrand Russell
“I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.” – Lily Tomlin
“Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They’re about to announce the lottery numbers.” — Homer Simpson
“Education cost money. But then again so does ignorance.” – Sir Claus Moser
Don’t be distracted by criticism. Remember, the only taste of success some people get is to take a bite out of you.” – Zig Ziglar
“A diamond is merely a lump of coal that did well under pressure.” — Henry Kissenger
"Everybody makes mistakes. The trick is to make mistakes when no one is looking."
~ Anonymous
"An expert is a man who has made all the mistakes which can be made in a very narrow field."
~ Niels Bohr
“It takes less time to do a thing right, than it does to explain why you did it wrong.” — Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
“I like work; it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.” — Jerome K. Jerome
“Time is an illusion. Lunchtime is doubly so.” – Douglas Adams
“People who work sitting down get paid more than people who work standing up.” – Ogden Nash
“I hate when I lose things at work, like pens, papers, sanity and dreams.” – Anonymous
“My son is now an ‘entrepreneur.’ That’s what you’re called when you don’t have a job.” – Ted Turner
“A lot of fellows nowadays have a B.A., M.D., or Ph.D. Unfortunately, they don’t have a J.O.B.” – Fats Domino
“We pretend to work because they pretend to pay us."
~ Anonymous
“The remaining work to finish in order to reach your goal increases as the deadline approaches."
~ Bove’s Theorem
“Getting paid to sleep… that’s my dream job.” –Unknown
“If owl parties aren't called hootenannies, this world will never make sense again."
- Reverend Badger
“Even if you are on the right track, you will get run over if you just sit there.” — Will Rogers
“In fifty years, he never worked a day. To him, nine to five was odds on a horse."
~ Archie Bunker
“The reward for good work is more work.” – Francesca Elisia
“Work is a necessity for man. Man invented the alarm clock."
~ Pablo Picasso
“Hear no evil, see no evil, and speak no evil—and you’ll never get a job working for a tabloid.” – Phil Pastoreta consultant.” – Scott Adams
“There’s something boring about people who have to go to an office for a living."
~ Karl Lagerfeld
“After Monday and Tuesday, even the calendar says WTF.” — Anonymous
“If you had to identify in one word the reason why the human race has not achieved and never will achieve its full potential, that word would be ‘meetings.” – Dave Barry
“An expert is a man who has made all the mistakes which can be made in a very narrow field.” — Niels Bohr
“I think Smithers picked me because of my motivational skills. Everyone says they have to work a lot harder when I’m around.” — Homer Simpson
“A lot of people quit looking for work as soon as they find a job.” — Zig Ziglar
“Be like a postage stamp. Stick to a thing till you get there.” — Josh Billings
“The closest to perfection a person ever comes is when he fills out a job application form.” — Stanley J. Randall
“Leaders who don’t listen will eventually be surrounded by people who have nothing to say.” – Andy Stanley
“The only thing that ever sat its way to success was a hen.” — Sarah Brown
“A baseball game is twice as much fun if you’re seeing it on the company’s time.” — William C. Feather
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