“Early to bed and early to rise probably indicates unskilled labor.” – John Ciardi
“Anyone who can walk to the welfare office can walk to work."
~ Al Capp
“Going to work for a large company is like getting on a train. Are you going sixty miles an hour or is the train going sixty miles an hour and you’re just sitting still?"
~ J. Paul Getty
“Even if you are on the right track, you will get run over if you just sit there.” — Will Rogers
"Show me a man who is a good loser and I’ll show you a man who is playing golf with his boss."
~ Jim Murray
“Unemployment is capitalism’s way of getting you to plant a garden."
~ Orson Scott Card
“Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died."
~ Erma Bombeck
"The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office.” — Robert Frost
“The closest to perfection a person ever comes is when he fills out a job application form.” — Stanley J. Randall
“Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I’m not there, I go to work.” – Robert Orben
“Education cost money. But then again so does ignorance.” – Sir Claus Moser
“Saving is a very fine thing. Especially when your parents have done it for you.” – Winston Churchill
"The world is divided into people who do things–and people who get the credit."
~ Dwight Morrow
“Ambition is a poor excuse for not having sense enough to be lazy.” – Charlie McCarthy
“The best way to appreciate your job is to imagine yourself without one.” — Oscar Wilde
"If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the next morning you will have a flat tire."
~ Cannon’s Law
“I hate when I lose things at work, like pens, papers, sanity and dreams.” – Anonymous
"His insomnia was so bad, he couldn’t sleep during office hours."
~ Arthur Baer
"An expert is a man who has made all the mistakes which can be made in a very narrow field."
~ Niels Bohr
“No man goes before his time—unless the boss leaves early.” — Groucho Marx
“One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas I'll never know."
- Groucho Marx
“Work is a necessity for man. Man invented the alarm clock."
~ Pablo Picasso
"The British soldier can stand up to anything except the British War Office."
~ George Bernard Shaw
“As I have gotten older and wiser I discovered that there are six things that I really loved about my job. Pay day, lunch time, quitting time, vacation time, holidays, and of course retirement.” — Tom Goins
“Most of what we call management consists of making it difficult for people to get their work done.” — Peter Drucker
“Hear no evil, see no evil, and speak no evil—and you’ll never get a job working for a tabloid.” – Phil Pastoreta consultant.” – Scott Adams
"The only place success comes before work is in the dictionary."
~ Vince Lombardi
“Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.” — Groucho Marx
“Work is against human nature. The proof is that it makes us tired. – Michel Tournier
“Coworkers are like Christmas lights. They hang together, half of them don’t work and the other half aren’t so bright.” – Anonymous
"Hard work is damn near as overrated as monogamy."
~ Huey Long
“I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early.” — Charles Lamb
“Like vinegar to the teeth, and smoke to the eyes, so are the lazy to their employers.” – Proverb 10:26
“I’m not retiring, I am graduating . . . retirement means that you’ll just go ahead and live on your laurels and surf all day in Oceanside. It ain’t going to happen.” – Junior Seau
“Time is an illusion. Lunchtime is doubly so.” – Douglas Adams
“Leaders who don’t listen will eventually be surrounded by people who have nothing to say.” – Andy Stanley
“People who work sitting down get paid more than people who work standing up.” – Ogden Nash
“If a man smiles all the time, he’s probably selling something that doesn’t work.” — Woody Allen
“My favorite animal is steak."
- Fran Lebowitz
“A lot of people quit looking for work as soon as they find a job.” — Zig Ziglar
“Doing nothing is very hard to do… you never know when you’re finished.” — Leslie Nielsen
“Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They’re about to announce the lottery numbers.” — Homer Simpson
“One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one’s work is terribly important.” — Bertrand Russell
“It is better to have one person working with you than three people working for you.” — Dwight D. Eisenhower
“The taxpayer—that’s someone who works for the federal government but doesn’t have to take the civil service examination.” — Ronald Reagan.
“The only thing that ever sat its way to success was a hen.” — Sarah Brown
“The elevator to success is out of order. You’ll have to use the stairs… one step at a time.” — Joe Girard
“People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day!” — Anonymous
"Learn from the mistakes of others. You can’t live long enough to make them all yourself."
~ Anonymous
“Oh, you hate your job? Why didn’t you say so? There’s a support group for that. It’s called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar."
~ Drew Carey