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"I like swimming in a sun shirt. People always look at me like I fell in the pool"
– Jim Gaffigan
If I don’t make it to heaven, at least I know what hell feels like with this heat!”
― April Mae Monterrosa
“Let a man walk ten miles steadily on a hot summer’s day along a dusty English road, and he will soon discover why beer was invented.”
- Gilbert K. Chesterton
“I’m glad it’s finally hot enough to complain about how hot it is.”
"Summer- the time when parents realize how underpaid teachers actually are"
"Thirty ways to shape up for summer. Number one: eat less. Number two: exercise more. Number three: what was I talking about again? I’m so hungry"
– Maria Bamford
“It’s a sure sign of summer if the chair gets up when you do.”
-Walter Winchell
"I can't wait to start blaming my normal lack of productivity on it being summer"
It's almost Summer! Time to find out what my friends with swimming pools have been up to since last summer...
“It is a grave error to assume that ice cream consumption requires hot weather.”
- Anne Fadiman
“Summer vacation: where you drink triple, see double and act single.”
“Good weather all week, but come the weekend, and the weather stinks. When the weather is too hot, they complain; too cold, they complain; and when it’s just right, they’re watching TV.”
— Rita Rudner
“Spring is when you feel like whistling, even with a shoe full of slush.”
– Doug Larson
“A perfect summer day is when the sun is shining, the breeze is blowing, the birds are singing, and the lawnmower is broken.”
– James Dent
“Summer bachelors like summer breezes, are never as cool as they pretend to be.”
– Nora Ephron
“A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.”
- Steve Martin
“If you saw a heat wave, would you wave back?"
– Steven Wright
"I don't tan. I burn"