"I don't tan. I burn"
“The most obnoxious thing in the world is to listen to others drone on about how much they love the heat.”
"Summer- the time when parents realize how underpaid teachers actually are"
"I'm happier than a seagull with a french fry"
It's almost Summer! Time to find out what my friends with swimming pools have been up to since last summer...
“Heat, ma'am! It was so dreadful here that I found there was nothing left for it but to take off my flesh and sit in my bones.”
- Sydney Smith
“Working is bad enough in the winter, but in the summer it can become completely intolerable.”-
Tom Hodgkinson
"I need summer to be longer so I have more time to do nothing"
Summer is like the ultimate one-night stand...hot as hell, totally thrilling, and gone before you know it.
"Pollen- when flowers can't keep it in their plants"
“Let a man walk ten miles steadily on a hot summer’s day along a dusty English road, and he will soon discover why beer was invented.”
- Gilbert K. Chesterton
“Spring is when you feel like whistling, even with a shoe full of slush.”
– Doug Larson
“During summer vacation, you get to do all your favorite things; cook hot dogs over a campfire (while being eaten alive by mosquitoes).”
– Bruce Lansky
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"I like swimming in a sun shirt. People always look at me like I fell in the pool"
– Jim Gaffigan
"Went outside today. Very hot. There were bugs. Zero stars, would not recommend"
“Summer vacation: where you drink triple, see double and act single.”
Summer should get a speeding ticket
“I believe someone made a grievous mistake when summer was created; no novitiate or god in their right mind would make a season akin to hell on purpose. Someone should be fired.”
― Michelle Franklin
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