“Why is Monday so far from Friday? And why is Friday so close to Monday?”
“Monday is great if I can spend it in bed. I’m a man of simple pleasures, really.”
– Arthur Darvill
“I really don’t play well with others on a Monday. Can I skip today and just start again with Tuesday?”
“I don’t like Sunday nights because you have to wake up to a Monday morning.”
“Take a deep breath and try to relax. I promise – Monday will be over soon.”
“Monday I shall slay thee with my mighty cup of coffee.”
“Monday, you're so jealous of my relationship with Sunday because I am so happy to see you leave!”
“This is the mondayest Monday that ever mondayed.”
“Due to lack of interest. Monday has been canceled.”
“Monday is like a math problem. Add the irritation, subtract the sleep, multiply the problems, divide the happiness.”
“We interrupt your happiness to bring you Mondays. Don’t worry, you’re regularly scheduled happiness will resume again on Friday.”
“Enjoy every second of Sunday, for when you least expect Monday comes to haunt you.”
“May your coffee be extra strong, and your Monday be extra short.”
“Hello, Monday! May I ask you a question? Why are you always back so quickly? Don’t you have a hobby?”
“This has been such a Monday! I wish I stayed in bed, and I wish that yesterday had never happened.”
– Lisa Mantchev
“I have decided to cast my vote for any political candidate whose platform adds Monday to the weekend.”
“If each day is a “gift,” I’d like to know where I can return the Monday.”
“I’ve drank multiple cups of coffee, and Monday isn’t looking any better. Hey – give me a beer. Let’s see if that helps.”
“Good morning. Keep calm and pretend it’s not Monday.”
“If Monday was a gift, I would happily return it to the person who gave it to me.”
“Candy is nature’s way of making up for Mondays.”
— Rebecca Gober
“Mondays are mundane, like Tuesdays minus 24 hours.”
— Jarod Kintz
“You are in control. Never allow your Monday to be manic.”
— Andrea L’Artiste
“Someone should enact a holiday that honors all people who turn up for work on Mondays.”
“So. Monday. We meet again. We will never be friends — but maybe we can move past our mutual enmity toward a more positive partnership.”
“My Week is like: Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Blink, Monday.”
“Monday: One of those days when even when your coffee needs a coffee.”
“If I was elected president, the first thing I would do would be to eliminate all Mondays and lengthen the weekend one more day.”
“Roses are red, Mondays are hard. I’m not good at poetry. COFFEE.”
“SMONDAY: The moment when Sunday stops feeling like a Sunday and the anxiety of Monday kicks in.”
“Monday is almost Tuesday, which is not so far from Wednesday which is neighboring Thursday, and Friday. Enjoy your day!”
“It’s just another manic Monday. I wish it was Sunday. ‘Cause, that’s my fun day. My, I don’t have to run day.”
— Prince Rogers Nelson