“May your coffee be strong and your Monday productive.”
“Sunday morning my head is bad. But it's worth all the time I had. But I've got to go and get some rest. For Monday is a mess!”
– Dave Bartholomew, Blue Monday
“May your coffee be extra strong, and your Monday be extra short.”
“The only certainty in this life is that Monday comes for everyone. A little humor to face at the beginning of the week always goes well. How about starting Monday smiling?”
“Due to lack of interest. Monday has been canceled.”
“What is your favorite day of the week, and why it is your favorite day of the week? Mine is Tuesday because that means Monday is gone.”
“If Monday was a gift, I would happily return it to the person who gave it to me.”
“I'm always in a bad mood on Monday morning. It makes me hate everything for no reason whatsoever.”
“You are in control. Never allow your Monday to be manic.”
— Andrea L’Artiste
“Monday should be optional.”
“If I was elected president, the first thing I would do would be to eliminate all Mondays and lengthen the weekend one more day.”
“Hello, Monday! May I ask you a question? Why are you always back so quickly? Don’t you have a hobby?”
“I have decided to cast my vote for any political candidate whose platform adds Monday to the weekend.”
“Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life!”
“I hate mornings and Mondays. And working. But other than that I am entirely happy.”
“Monday: One of those days when even when your coffee needs a coffee.”
“Take a deep breath and try to relax. I promise – Monday will be over soon.”
“When life gives you Monday, dip it in glitter and sparkle all day.”
“If Monday were a person, it would be a boring friend who always forces us to do what we don’t want.”
“Dear Mondays, I really think that you should take a holiday. Believe me, no one will even miss you.”
“Why is Monday so far from Friday? And why is Friday so close to Monday?”
“Set your clocks at the start of the weekend so that you know just how much fun time you get to have. Then smash your clocks so you won't know when Monday starts.”
“Monday is a sloppy umbrella day, which makes everybody a little blue.”
– George Leedy
“Hello and welcome to Monday. Do you take sugar, cream, or Valium in your morning coffee?”
“Is it Monday already? I’m almost positive I did not get my entire portion of the weekend.”
“Mondays are mundane, like Tuesdays minus 24 hours.”
— Jarod Kintz
“So. Monday. We meet again. We will never be friends—but maybe we can move past our mutual enmity toward a more-positive partnership.”
— Julio Alexi Genao
“Someone should enact a holiday that honors all people who turn up for work on Mondays.”
“I really need a day in-between Sunday and Monday.”
“Monday is great if I can spend it in bed. I’m a man of simple pleasures, really.”
– Arthur Darvill
“Good morning. Keep calm and pretend it’s not Monday.”
“This has been such a Monday! I wish I stayed in bed, and I wish that yesterday had never happened.”
– Lisa Mantchev
“What is your favorite day of the week, and why it is your favorite day of the week? Mine is Tuesday because that means Monday is gone.”
“If each day is a “gift,” I’d like to know where I can return the Monday.”
“My Week is like: Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Blink, Monday.”
“Mondays are a lot like getting fat. They make you feel sad, sometimes angry and there is not much scope for liking either fat or Mondays for any reason.”
– Garry Moll
“Monday again? Is it every week now?”
“Roses are red, Mondays are hard. I’m not good at poetry. COFFEE.”
“Monday, you're so jealous of my relationship with Sunday because I am so happy to see you leave!”
“I really don’t play well with others on a Monday. Can I skip today and just start again with Tuesday?”
“Unfortunately, I did not become a millionaire over the weekend, so I have to return to work on Monday.”
“Enjoy every second of Sunday, for when you least expect Monday comes to haunt you.”
“Never make your favorite song the alarm for Monday morning; you’ll hate it for years.”
“Monday I shall slay thee with my mighty cup of coffee.”
“Monday is like a math problem. Add the irritation, subtract the sleep, multiply the problems, divide the happiness.”
“Maybe Monday doesn’t like you either.”
“Monday: nothing a bit of shopping can’t fix.”
“I don’t like Sunday nights because you have to wake up to a Monday morning.”
“This is the mondayest Monday that ever mondayed.”
“Dear Monday, my mama doesn’t like you and she likes everyone.”