“Never make your favorite song the alarm for Monday morning; you’ll hate it for years.”
“I really don’t play well with others on a Monday. Can I skip today and just start again with Tuesday?”
“The only certainty in this life is that Monday comes for everyone. A little humor to face at the beginning of the week always goes well. How about starting Monday smiling?”
“Monday is almost Tuesday, which is not so far from Wednesday which is neighboring Thursday, and Friday. Enjoy your day!”
“Dear Monday, I want to break up. I’m seeing Tuesday and dreaming about Friday. Sincerely, it’s not me, it’s you.”
“What is your favorite day of the week, and why it is your favorite day of the week? Mine is Tuesday because that means Monday is gone.”
“At the end of a rainbow, there’s a pot of gold. But when the weekend comes to an end, there’s only a Monday.”
“When life gives you Monday, dip it in glitter and sparkle all day.”
“I don’t like Sunday nights because you have to wake up to a Monday morning.”
“I don’t like when I'm all stress-free and peacefully relaxing on the couch and then, out of nowhere, Monday comes along and punches you right off the couch!”
“I’ve drank multiple cups of coffee, and Monday isn’t looking any better. Hey – give me a beer. Let’s see if that helps.”
“If Monday was a gift, I would happily return it to the person who gave it to me.”
“This is the mondayest Monday that ever mondayed.”
“Mondays are mundane, like Tuesdays minus 24 hours.”
— Jarod Kintz
“Candy is nature’s way of making up for Mondays.”
— Rebecca Gober
“If each day is a “gift,” I’d like to know where I can return the Monday.”
“Monday is great if I can spend it in bed. I’m a man of simple pleasures, really.”
– Arthur Darvill
“Someone should enact a holiday that honors all people who turn up for work on Mondays.”
“I really need a day in-between Sunday and Monday.”
“Monday is like a math problem. Add the irritation, subtract the sleep, multiply the problems, divide the happiness.”
“Hello, Monday! May I ask you a question? Why are you always back so quickly? Don’t you have a hobby?”
“You are in control. Never allow your Monday to be manic.”
— Andrea L’Artiste
“Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life!”
“Why is Monday so far from Friday? And why is Friday so close to Monday?”
“Keep calm and pretend it’s not Monday.”
“Sunday morning my head is bad. But it's worth all the time I had. But I've got to go and get some rest. For Monday is a mess!”
– Dave Bartholomew, Blue Monday
“Dear Monday, my mama doesn’t like you and she likes everyone.”
“The worst moment today has happened. That was when the alarm went off and I realized it was Monday.”
“Maybe Monday doesn’t like you either.”
“Monday is a sloppy umbrella day, which makes everybody a little blue.”
– George Leedy
“Monday I shall slay thee with my mighty cup of coffee.”
“I'm always in a bad mood on Monday morning. It makes me hate everything for no reason whatsoever.”
“Is it Monday already? I’m almost positive I did not get my entire portion of the weekend.”
“I have decided to cast my vote for any political candidate whose platform adds Monday to the weekend.”
“If Monday were a person, it would be a boring friend who always forces us to do what we don’t want.”
“What is your favorite day of the week, and why it is your favorite day of the week? Mine is Tuesday because that means Monday is gone.”
“Roses are red, Mondays are hard. I’m not good at poetry. COFFEE.”
“If I was elected president, the first thing I would do would be to eliminate all Mondays and lengthen the weekend one more day.”
“Mondays are a lot like getting fat. They make you feel sad, sometimes angry and there is not much scope for liking either fat or Mondays for any reason.”
– Garry Moll
“We interrupt your happiness to bring you Mondays. Don’t worry, you’re regularly scheduled happiness will resume again on Friday.”
“Hello and welcome to Monday. Do you take sugar, cream, or Valium in your morning coffee?”
“It’s just another manic Monday. I wish it was Sunday. ‘Cause, that’s my fun day. My, I don’t have to run day.”
— Prince Rogers Nelson
“Monday: nothing a bit of shopping can’t fix.”
“May your coffee be strong and your Monday productive.”
“This has been such a Monday! I wish I stayed in bed, and I wish that yesterday had never happened.”
– Lisa Mantchev
“Monday, you're so jealous of my relationship with Sunday because I am so happy to see you leave!”
“So. Monday. We meet again. We will never be friends — but maybe we can move past our mutual enmity toward a more positive partnership.”
“My Week is like: Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Blink, Monday.”
“Set your clocks at the start of the weekend so that you know just how much fun time you get to have. Then smash your clocks so you won't know when Monday starts.”
“Good morning. Keep calm and pretend it’s not Monday.”
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