“If Monday was a gift, I would happily return it to the person who gave it to me.”
“Maybe Monday doesn’t like you either.”
“I don’t like when I'm all stress-free and peacefully relaxing on the couch and then, out of nowhere, Monday comes along and punches you right off the couch!”
“Dear Monday, I want to break up. I’m seeing Tuesday and dreaming about Friday. Sincerely, it’s not me, it’s you.”
“May your coffee be extra strong, and your Monday be extra short.”
“Take a deep breath and try to relax. I promise – Monday will be over soon.”
“Someone should enact a holiday that honors all people who turn up for work on Mondays.”
“Hello, Monday! May I ask you a question? Why are you always back so quickly? Don’t you have a hobby?”
“I have decided to cast my vote for any political candidate whose platform adds Monday to the weekend.”
“Is it Monday already? I’m almost positive I did not get my entire portion of the weekend.”
“Set your clocks at the start of the weekend so that you know just how much fun time you get to have. Then smash your clocks so you won't know when Monday starts.”
“It’s just another manic Monday. I wish it was Sunday. ‘Cause, that’s my fun day. My, I don’t have to run day.”
— Prince Rogers Nelson
“I'm always in a bad mood on Monday morning. It makes me hate everything for no reason whatsoever.”
“Monday is a sloppy umbrella day, which makes everybody a little blue.”
– George Leedy
“Why is Monday so far from Friday? And why is Friday so close to Monday?”
“Monday should be optional.”
“Hello and welcome to Monday. Do you take sugar, cream, or Valium in your morning coffee?”
“Monday: nothing a bit of shopping can’t fix.”
“SMONDAY: The moment when Sunday stops feeling like a Sunday and the anxiety of Monday kicks in.”
“At the end of a rainbow, there’s a pot of gold. But when the weekend comes to an end, there’s only a Monday.”
“Candy is nature’s way of making up for Mondays.”
— Rebecca Gober
“Monday, you're so jealous of my relationship with Sunday because I am so happy to see you leave!”
“I really need a day in-between Sunday and Monday.”
“So. Monday. We meet again. We will never be friends — but maybe we can move past our mutual enmity toward a more positive partnership.”
“If Monday were a person, it would be a boring friend who always forces us to do what we don’t want.”
“Monday again? Is it every week now?”
“You are in control. Never allow your Monday to be manic.”
— Andrea L’Artiste
“We interrupt your happiness to bring you Mondays. Don’t worry, you’re regularly scheduled happiness will resume again on Friday.”
“The worst moment today has happened. That was when the alarm went off and I realized it was Monday.”
“I hate mornings and Mondays. And working. But other than that I am entirely happy.”
“I don’t like Sunday nights because you have to wake up to a Monday morning.”
“My Week is like: Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Blink, Monday.”
“If each day is a “gift,” I’d like to know where I can return the Monday.”
“Sunday morning my head is bad. But it's worth all the time I had. But I've got to go and get some rest. For Monday is a mess!”
– Dave Bartholomew, Blue Monday
“Monday is like a math problem. Add the irritation, subtract the sleep, multiply the problems, divide the happiness.”
“Roses are red, Mondays are hard. I’m not good at poetry. COFFEE.”
“Monday: One of those days when even when your coffee needs a coffee.”
“Due to lack of interest. Monday has been canceled.”
“This is the mondayest Monday that ever mondayed.”
“So. Monday. We meet again. We will never be friends—but maybe we can move past our mutual enmity toward a more-positive partnership.”
— Julio Alexi Genao
“I really don’t play well with others on a Monday. Can I skip today and just start again with Tuesday?”
“Unfortunately, I did not become a millionaire over the weekend, so I have to return to work on Monday.”
“What is your favorite day of the week, and why it is your favorite day of the week? Mine is Tuesday because that means Monday is gone.”
“What is your favorite day of the week, and why it is your favorite day of the week? Mine is Tuesday because that means Monday is gone.”
“Keep calm and pretend it’s not Monday.”
“Mondays are a lot like getting fat. They make you feel sad, sometimes angry and there is not much scope for liking either fat or Mondays for any reason.”
– Garry Moll
“The only certainty in this life is that Monday comes for everyone. A little humor to face at the beginning of the week always goes well. How about starting Monday smiling?”
“Mondays are mundane, like Tuesdays minus 24 hours.”
— Jarod Kintz
“Good morning. Keep calm and pretend it’s not Monday.”
“I’ve drank multiple cups of coffee, and Monday isn’t looking any better. Hey – give me a beer. Let’s see if that helps.”