“Mondays are mundane, like Tuesdays minus 24 hours.”
— Jarod Kintz
“Monday: nothing a bit of shopping can’t fix.”
“Due to lack of interest. Monday has been canceled.”
“Monday should be optional.”
“May your coffee be extra strong, and your Monday be extra short.”
“I really don’t play well with others on a Monday. Can I skip today and just start again with Tuesday?”
“Hello and welcome to Monday. Do you take sugar, cream, or Valium in your morning coffee?”
“Good morning. Keep calm and pretend it’s not Monday.”
“This has been such a Monday! I wish I stayed in bed, and I wish that yesterday had never happened.”
– Lisa Mantchev
“I don’t like Sunday nights because you have to wake up to a Monday morning.”
“Roses are red, Mondays are hard. I’m not good at poetry. COFFEE.”
“Monday is a sloppy umbrella day, which makes everybody a little blue.”
– George Leedy
“Keep calm and pretend it’s not Monday.”
“So. Monday. We meet again. We will never be friends — but maybe we can move past our mutual enmity toward a more positive partnership.”
“I really need a day in-between Sunday and Monday.”
“I hate mornings and Mondays. And working. But other than that I am entirely happy.”
“This is the mondayest Monday that ever mondayed.”
“If I was elected president, the first thing I would do would be to eliminate all Mondays and lengthen the weekend one more day.”
“Monday is like a math problem. Add the irritation, subtract the sleep, multiply the problems, divide the happiness.”
“Take a deep breath and try to relax. I promise – Monday will be over soon.”
“Why is Monday so far from Friday? And why is Friday so close to Monday?”
“Enjoy every second of Sunday, for when you least expect Monday comes to haunt you.”
“Mondays are a lot like getting fat. They make you feel sad, sometimes angry and there is not much scope for liking either fat or Mondays for any reason.”
– Garry Moll
“Monday: One of those days when even when your coffee needs a coffee.”
“Someone should enact a holiday that honors all people who turn up for work on Mondays.”
“Monday is almost Tuesday, which is not so far from Wednesday which is neighboring Thursday, and Friday. Enjoy your day!”
“May your coffee be strong and your Monday productive.”
“Monday is great if I can spend it in bed. I’m a man of simple pleasures, really.”
– Arthur Darvill
“At the end of a rainbow, there’s a pot of gold. But when the weekend comes to an end, there’s only a Monday.”
“I don’t like when I'm all stress-free and peacefully relaxing on the couch and then, out of nowhere, Monday comes along and punches you right off the couch!”
“Monday I shall slay thee with my mighty cup of coffee.”
“When life gives you Monday, dip it in glitter and sparkle all day.”
“We interrupt your happiness to bring you Mondays. Don’t worry, you’re regularly scheduled happiness will resume again on Friday.”
“Dear Monday, I want to break up. I’m seeing Tuesday and dreaming about Friday. Sincerely, it’s not me, it’s you.”
“SMONDAY: The moment when Sunday stops feeling like a Sunday and the anxiety of Monday kicks in.”
“Hello, Monday! May I ask you a question? Why are you always back so quickly? Don’t you have a hobby?”
“I’ve drank multiple cups of coffee, and Monday isn’t looking any better. Hey – give me a beer. Let’s see if that helps.”
“Is it Monday already? I’m almost positive I did not get my entire portion of the weekend.”
“Monday again? Is it every week now?”
“My Week is like: Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Blink, Monday.”
“Sunday morning my head is bad. But it's worth all the time I had. But I've got to go and get some rest. For Monday is a mess!”
– Dave Bartholomew, Blue Monday
“Maybe Monday doesn’t like you either.”
“So. Monday. We meet again. We will never be friends—but maybe we can move past our mutual enmity toward a more-positive partnership.”
— Julio Alexi Genao
“Monday, you're so jealous of my relationship with Sunday because I am so happy to see you leave!”
“Unfortunately, I did not become a millionaire over the weekend, so I have to return to work on Monday.”
“If each day is a “gift,” I’d like to know where I can return the Monday.”
“Candy is nature’s way of making up for Mondays.”
— Rebecca Gober
“Dear Monday, my mama doesn’t like you and she likes everyone.”
“Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life!”
“Never make your favorite song the alarm for Monday morning; you’ll hate it for years.”
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