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chiltepin pepper seeds Jokes

chiltepin pepper seeds Jokes and more.
Food Quotes
"I'm not sure what makes pepperoni so good if it's the pepper or the oni."
— Ulrik Stephens
Beach Puns
How can you tell that it’s Ronald McDonald at a nude beach?
Because he has sesame seed buns.
Pizza Puns
What did the pizza say to the delivery guy?
“You don’t pepper-own me.”

…and what did the delivery guy say in reply?
“Hey now, don’t get saucy.”
Head Puns
So a man walked up to me and placed some soil, plant seeds and fertilizer on my head.
It was annoying at first, but I think it grew on me.
Dog Puns
What do you get when you cross a chili pepper, a shovel and a terrier?
A hot-diggity-dog.
Funny Poems For Kids
One day I found two pumpkin seeds.
I planted one and pulled the weeds.
It sprouted roots and a big, long vine.
A pumpkin grew; I called it mine.
The pumpkin was quite round and fat.
(I really am quite proud of that.)
But there is something I’ll admit
That has me worried just a bit.
I ate the other seed, you see.
Now will it grow inside of me?
Tennis Puns
An orange and an apple signed up for a tournament. No one was surprised to find out they were both seeded.
It's So Cold.... One Liners
It's so cold that the band changed their name to Red Cold Chili Peppers.
Hot Dog Puns
What do get when you cross a chili pepper, steam shovel, and a Chihuahua? A hot, diggety dog.
What do get when you cross a chili pepper, steam shovel, and a Chihuahua? Hot, diggety dog.
Saving the Forest
There was an old man who lived by a forest. As he grew older and older, he started losing his hair, until one day, on his deathbed, he was completely bald. That day, he called his children to a meeting. He said, "Look at my hair. It used to be so magnificent, but it's completely gone now. My hair can't be saved. But look outside at the forest. It's such a lovely forest with so many trees, but sooner or later they'll all be cut down and this forest will look as bald as my hair." "What I want you to do," the man continued, "is, every time a tree is cut down or dies, plant a new one in my memory. Tell your descendants to do the same. It shall be our family's duty to keep this forest strong." So they did. Each time the forest lost a tree, the children replanted one, and so did their children, and their children after them. And for centuries, the forest remained as lush and pretty as it once was, all because of one man and his re-seeding heirline.
Funny Aging Quotes
"A stockbroker urged me to buy a stock that would triple its value every year. I told him, ‘At my age, I don’t even buy green bananas.’" - Claude Pepper
Orange Puns
Why was the orange skeptical of everyone around him?
He was planted with a seed of doubt.
An apple and an orange signed up for a tournament. No one was really surprised when they had both were seeded.
Funny Tongue Twisters
Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers. How many pickled peppers did Peter Piper pick?
Grass Puns
I needed to add some grass seeds to my lawn. The only thing I could find to keep the seeds out of my flower bed was some ceramic bunnies my wife had, so I used those as a barrier.
Please don't make fun of my re-seeding hare line.
Crabgrass in my lawn is always fighting to prevent good grass seed from rooting...
Guess you could say I'm caught in the middle of a turf war
If You're Outdoors, Wear a Bell Please
"Important Announcement: In light of the rising frequency of human - grizzly bear conflicts, the Alaska Department of Fish and Game is advising hikers, hunters, and fishermen to take extra precautions and keep alert of bears while in the field. They advise that outdoorsmen wear noisy little bells on their clothing so as not to startle bears that aren't expecting them. They also advise outdoorsmen to carry pepper spray with them in case of an encounter with a bear. It is also a good idea to watch out for fresh signs of bear activity. Outdoorsmen should recognize the difference between black bear and grizzly bear dung. Black bear dung is smaller and contains lots of berries and squirrel fur. Grizzly bear dung has little bells in it and smells like pepper."
Puns
What does a nosey pepper do?
Gets jalapeno business!
The man who survived pepper spray and mustard gas is now a seasoned veteran
How do you measure the heaviness of a red hot chili pepper?
Give it a weigh, give it a weigh, give it a weigh now.
Appliance Puns
What did the black pepper say to his wife after coming out of the grinder?
"Don't worry. I'm fine."
Food puns
Why didn't the green pepper practice archery?
Because it didn't habanero.
Funny Animal Poems That Rhyme
Canary-birds feed on sugar and seed,
Parrots have crackers to crunch;
And, as for the poodles, they tell me the noodles
Have chickens and cream for their lunch.
But there’s never a question
About MY digestion—
Anything does for me!

Cats, you’re aware, can repose in a chair,
Chickens can roost upon rails;
Puppies are able to sleep in a stable,
And oysters can slumber in pails.
But no one supposes
A poor Camel dozes—
Any place does for me!

...

People would laugh if you rode a giraffe,
Or mounted the back of an ox;
It’s nobody’s habit to ride on a rabbit,
Or try to bestraddle a fox.
But as for a Camel, he’s
Ridden by families—
Any load does for me!

(Charles E. Carryl)
Water Puns
Why do sharks only swim in salt water?
Because pepper always makes them sneeze.
Seal Puns
Why do seals swim in salt water ?
Because pepper water makes them sneeze.
Ghoul Puns
What do ghouls and goblins put on their nachos?
Ghost peppers.
Quotes
Claude Pepper
Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.
A stockbroker urged me to buy a stock that would triple its value every year. I told him, "At my age, I don't even buy green bananas."
Claude Pepper
“A stockbroker urged me to buy a stock that would triple its value every year. I told him, ‘At my age, I don’t even buy green bananas.'”
Claude Pepper
Salt Puns
What are the four seasons?
Salt, Pepper, Sugar and Flour.
What’s the opposite of Himalayan salt?
Herastandin pepper.
What did the salt say after it was pepper-sprayed?
That's nothing to sneeze at.
Did you know that if you poured salt on a cat's tail it will fall off?
It's true! And if you pour pepper on a cat's tail, the pepper will also fall off.
Why do sharks swim in salt water?
If they swam in pepper water they would sneeze.
When I was in basic training we couldn't have salt or pepper.
Those were reserved for the seasoned veterans.
A chap goes to see the doctor with salt on one ear and pepper on the other. The doctor says, “You need to start eating more sensibly”.
Mouth Puns
There's a South American country where they have a rare pepper. Instead of being hot when you eat it, it makes your mouth feel cold.
It's called the Chilly Chile Chili.
Hummus Puns
So I was standing in the grocery store comparing the prices of a couple packs of hummus when my roommate came up to me and suggest the off brand roasted red pepper kind to which I replied:

"Ya, I'm not really sure about that brand. They seem to be very hit and hummus for me."

He was not impressed.
Spice Puns
Teacher: What are the seasons? Student: Salt, pepper, ginger...
What does a nosey pepper do? Gets Jalapeno business.
What kind of socks do you need to plant cayenne pepper? Garden hose!
What is a ghost peppers favorite Leonardo Dicaprio film? Catch me if you Cayenne.
Why do baby seals swim in salt water? Cause pepper water makes them sneeze.
Chefs earn a meager celery, cumin home beat they just want to read the pepper and spend thyme with the kids.
What happened when a farmer crossed a chili pepper, a shovel, and a pitbull? He got a hot-diggity-dog.
Plant Puns
A chemist plants a seed.
He takes good care of it every day. He waters it and fertilizes the soil around it. As it becomes a big and healthy tree, the chemist thinks to himself: What a good chemist-tree.
Chuck Norris Jokes
Chuck Norris spices up his steaks with pepper spray.
Parrot Puns
What always succeeds? A toothless parrot! (sucks seeds)
Bed Puns
I put a blanket on a small pepper
He said he felt a little chili
Explorer Gives Talk In Seaside Town
A famous British explorer was invited to a seaside town to give a talk about his adventures in the African jungle. “Can you imagine a people so primitive that they love to eat the embryos of a certain bird and slices of the belly of a certain animal?” the explorer asked the assembled audience. Its members gasped and looked around at each other in horror. “They also grind up grass seed, make it into a paste, burn it over a fire, then smear the result with a greasy mess that’s extracted from the mammary fluid of certain other animals,” the explorer continued. “Utterly barbaric! How can people live like that?” said a shocked individual. “All I’ve described is a breakfast of bacon, eggs and buttered toast, sir!” retorted the explorer. Moral of the story: Don't be quick to judge cultures before you understand your own!
Watermelon Puns
Why are watermelons, such good entrepreneurs?
“They always have seed money.”
I think it’s funny when I ask girls whether they would spit or swallow my seed if I was a watermelon. Unfortunately, almost all of them reply not in a hundred melon years.
Fish Puns
Why do fish live in salt water?
Because pepper makes them sneeze.
Funny Limericks
There once was a farmer from Leeds,
Who swallowed a packet of seeds.
It soon came to pass,
He was covered with grass,
But has all the tomatoes he needs.
There once was a farmer from Leeds,
Who swallowed a packet of seeds.
It soon came to pass,
He was covered with grass,
But has all the tomatoes he needs.
Garden Puns
Your good seed for the day.
Seed between the lines.
I wasn’t all that interested in gardening, but I planted a few seeds, and it grew on me.
One Liners for Kids
What does a nosey pepper do? Gets jalapeno business!
Why do sharks swim in saltwater?
Because pepper water makes them sneeze!
Why do fish live in salt water? Because pepper makes them sneeze!
Boat Puns
Why don't they make boats out of peppers?
Because they're always capsaicin!