It was so cold that we pulled everything out of the freezer and huddled inside to keep warm.
It’s so cold that when I dialed the emergency number, there was a recording that said to call back in spring.
It’s so cold our table cutlery now includes a saw.
It’s so cold travel agencies are advertising tropical holidays to Alaska.
It’s so cold the rats in the alley were bribing the cats for a snuggle.
It's so cold that lawyers have their hands in their own pockets.
It was so cold when I blinked my eyes froze shut.
It’s so cold that when we baked the frozen pizza in the oven for 25 minutes, it was still frozen.
It’s so cold I swapped my pillow for a grill.
It’s so cold that I’m breathing out snowflakes!
It's so cold that I’m drinking hot sauce instead of coffee.
It’s so cold washroom attendants have started putting salt boxes next to the toilets.
It’s so cold we had to stop eating with metal cutlery. Some people walked around for days with spoons or forks stuck to their tongues!
It’s so cold I saw an Amish guy buying an electric blanket.
It’s so cold my mail shattered when I tried to open it.
It’s so cold Levi Strauss started making electric jeans.
It’s so cold kids are using a new excuse to stay up late: “But Mom, my pajamas haven’t thawed out yet!”
It’s so cold the flames of our fire froze.
It's so cold that you might have to chop up the piano for firewood (although you’ll only get two chords).
It was so cold firemen couldn’t get the people out of the burning building because it was warm.
It’s so cold that even the polar bears started drinking hot chocolate.
It’s so cold my money turned into cold, hard cash.
It’s so cold cops are tasering themselves.
It's so cold hitchhikers were holding up pictures of thumbs!
It’s so cold we have to carry around hammers and chisels so we could get out of our clothes!
It’s so cold I tried to take out the garbage, but it refused to go.
It’s so cold we were afraid to spit because it can ricochet.
It's so cold that the optician was giving away free ice scrapers with every new pair of eyeglasses.
It’s so cold we had to punch a hole in the air just to get outside.
It’s so cold that even the ATM shows minus.
It's so cold that people started chipping their teeth on soup!
It’s so cold I had to eat ice cream just to warm up.
It’s so cold people with spiked hair were being arrested for carrying around a dangerous weapon.
It’s so cold my shadow ended up freezing on the sidewalk.
It’s so cold that Jack Frost changed his name to Jack Froze.
It's so cold that you have to break the smoke off your chimney.
It’s so cold chickens are rushing into Kentucky Fried Chicken and begging to use the pressure cooker!
It was so cold that I saw a Greyhound bus and the dog was riding on the inside.
It’s so cold I saw Superman taking a taxi.
It’s so cold a glacier was seen heading slowly down the main street of our town.
It was so cold the mice were playing ice hockey in the toilet bowl.
It’s so cold teenagers began to worry about getting goosebumps rather than acne.
It’s so cold you could rob me with a bucket of water right now!!
It’s so cold the aquarium didn’t need to use glass. On the downside, the fish were motionless.
It's so cold that Starbucks started serving coffee on a stick.
It's so cold that you have to open the fridge to heat the house.
It’s so cold I walk to school with a toaster in my pants.
It’s so cold the cosmetics counter at the local department store started selling cream for goosebumps.
It’s so cold that the snowflakes froze in the air and birds used them as stepping stones to get from tree to tree.
It’s so cold pet stores sell hamsters, gerbils, and penguins.
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