It’s so cold the ice cubes in my drink have goosebumps.
It’s so cold that Grandpa’s teeth are chattering – in the glass!
It’s so cold I saw Superman taking a taxi.
It’s so cold washroom attendants have started putting salt boxes next to the toilets.
It's so cold that when cows are milked, ice cream comes out.
It's so cold that you have to open the fridge to heat the house.
It’s so cold we didn’t clean the house, we just defrosted it.
It’s so cold dogs are wearing cats.
It’s so cold our table cutlery now includes a saw.
It’s so cold mailmen watch out for both dogs and polar bears.
It’s so cold people with spiked hair were being arrested for carrying around a dangerous weapon.
It’s so cold the cosmetics counter at the local department store started selling cream for goosebumps.
It’s so cold travel agencies are advertising tropical holidays to Alaska.
It’s so cold the anticipation of waiting for my ketchup to come out of the bottle lasted three months.
It’s so cold the police told a robber to freeze, and he really did.
It’s so cold pet stores sell hamsters, gerbils, and penguins.
It’s so cold we had to chisel the dog off a lamp post.
It’s so cold I swapped my pillow for a grill.
It’s so cold ice cubes are coming out of my tap.
It's so cold that you might have to chop up the piano for firewood (although you’ll only get two chords).
It’s so cold we have to carry around hammers and chisels so we could get out of our clothes!
It’s so cold mum used a saw to serve us milk.
It was so cold firemen couldn’t get the people out of the burning building because it was warm.
It’s so cold the aquarium didn’t need to use glass. On the downside, the fish were motionless.
It was so cold when I blinked my eyes froze shut.
It’s so cold I left Starbuck with mocha lattes and by the time I got to the car I had fudgicles.
It’s so cold we had to salt the hallway.
It’s so cold a glacier was seen heading slowly down the main street of our town.
It's so cold that our words froze in midair — we had to put them in a frying pan to thaw them so we could hear what we were talking about.
It’s so cold kids are using a new excuse to stay up late: “But Mom, my pajamas haven’t thawed out yet!”
It’s so cold that when I needed an anesthetic, the dentist told me to stick my head out the hospital window.
It’s so cold I tried to take out the garbage, but it refused to go.
It’s so cold I walk to school with a toaster in my pants.
It's so cold that the band changed their name to Red Cold Chili Peppers.
It’s so cold Levi Strauss started making electric jeans.
It's so cold hitchhikers were holding up pictures of thumbs!
It's so cold that Starbucks started serving coffee on a stick.
It’s so cold that even the ATM shows minus.
It was so cold that I saw a Greyhound bus and the dog was riding on the inside.
It’s so cold we had to punch a hole in the air just to get outside.
It’s so cold refrigerators are redundant.
It's so cold that you have to break the smoke off your chimney.
It’s so cold I saw an Amish guy buying an electric blanket.
It’s so cold I had to eat ice cream just to warm up.
It’s so cold my money turned into cold, hard cash.
It’s so cold the flames of our fire froze.
It’s so cold that when we baked the frozen pizza in the oven for 25 minutes, it was still frozen.
It’s so cold that when I dialed the emergency number, there was a recording that said to call back in spring.
It's so cold that polar bears wear jackets.
It’s so cold my shadow ended up freezing on the sidewalk.
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