It's so cold that Starbucks started serving coffee on a stick.
It’s so cold that I’m breathing out snowflakes!
It's so cold that you have to break the smoke off your chimney.
It’s so cold we had to chisel the dog off a lamp post.
It’s so cold the flames of our fire froze.
It’s so cold pet stores sell hamsters, gerbils, and penguins.
It’s so cold mum used a saw to serve us milk.
It's so cold that trees are chopping themselves into firewood.
It’s so cold that when we baked the frozen pizza in the oven for 25 minutes, it was still frozen.
It was so cold firemen couldn’t get the people out of the burning building because it was warm.
It’s so cold we have to carry around hammers and chisels so we could get out of our clothes!
It’s so cold the local graveyard put heaters out for the ghosts.
It was so cold when I blinked my eyes froze shut.
It’s so cold we had to stop eating with metal cutlery. Some people walked around for days with spoons or forks stuck to their tongues!
It's so cold hitchhikers were holding up pictures of thumbs!
It’s so cold the rats in the alley were bribing the cats for a snuggle.
It’s so cold the anticipation of waiting for my ketchup to come out of the bottle lasted three months.
It was so cold that we pulled everything out of the freezer and huddled inside to keep warm.
It’s so cold I left Starbuck with mocha lattes and by the time I got to the car I had fudgicles.
It’s so cold that Jack Frost changed his name to Jack Froze.
It’s so cold the cosmetics counter at the local department store started selling cream for goosebumps.
It's so cold that you might have to chop up the piano for firewood (although you’ll only get two chords).
It’s so cold my hat wrapped itself in a scarf.
It’s so cold we were afraid to spit because it can ricochet.
It’s so cold we didn’t clean the house, we just defrosted it.
It was so cold when I turned on the shower, I got hail.
It’s so cold I had to eat ice cream just to warm up.
It's so cold that the optician was giving away free ice scrapers with every new pair of eyeglasses.
It’s so cold people with spiked hair were being arrested for carrying around a dangerous weapon.
It’s so cold sheep were demanding their wool back.
It was so cold the mice were playing ice hockey in the toilet bowl.
It’s so cold the aquarium didn’t need to use glass. On the downside, the fish were motionless.
It’s so cold I walk to school with a toaster in my pants.
It’s so cold I saw an Amish guy buying an electric blanket.
It’s so cold pickpockets are sticking their hands in strangers’ pockets just to keep them warm.
It’s so cold we have to put skates on just to move around the house.
It's so cold that lawyers have their hands in their own pockets.
It’s so cold I swapped my pillow for a grill.
It’s so cold mailmen watch out for both dogs and polar bears.
It's so cold that our words froze in midair — we had to put them in a frying pan to thaw them so we could hear what we were talking about.
It’s so cold ice cubes are coming out of my tap.
It’s so cold that even the snowmen are wearing sweaters!
It’s so cold I actually enjoyed someone spilling hot coffee in my lap.
It’s so cold that the Statue of Liberty put her torch inside her dress!
It’s so cold travel agencies are advertising tropical holidays to Alaska.
It’s so cold my mail shattered when I tried to open it.
It’s so cold I tried to take out the garbage, but it refused to go.
It’s so cold our hats have turned into ice caps.
It's so cold that people started chipping their teeth on soup!
It’s so cold that when I needed an anesthetic, the dentist told me to stick my head out the hospital window.