It’s so cold my hat wrapped itself in a scarf.
It’s so cold the cosmetics counter at the local department store started selling cream for goosebumps.
It's so cold that our words froze in midair — we had to put them in a frying pan to thaw them so we could hear what we were talking about.
It’s so cold that even the ATM shows minus.
It’s so cold that when I needed an anesthetic, the dentist told me to stick my head out the hospital window.
It’s so cold ice cubes are coming out of my tap.
It’s so cold I walk to school with a toaster in my pants.
It's so cold that the optician was giving away free ice scrapers with every new pair of eyeglasses.
It's so cold that you might have to chop up the piano for firewood (although you’ll only get two chords).
It was so cold firemen couldn’t get the people out of the burning building because it was warm.
It’s so cold our table cutlery now includes a saw.
It’s so cold people with spiked hair were being arrested for carrying around a dangerous weapon.
It’s so cold chickens are rushing into Kentucky Fried Chicken and begging to use the pressure cooker!
It's so cold that polar bears wear jackets.
It was so cold that I saw a Greyhound bus and the dog was riding on the inside.
It’s so cold the school nurse has to use a steamer to remove the instruments from the lips of the brass band members after the concert.
It's so cold that people look forward to getting a fever.
It’s so cold every kind of cereal in the cupboard is frosted – including the boxes!
It’s so cold mum used a saw to serve us milk.
It's so cold that trees are chopping themselves into firewood.
It’s so cold we had to chisel the dog off a lamp post.
It’s so cold I saw a gangsta with his pants pulled up.
It's so cold that the band changed their name to Red Cold Chili Peppers.
It’s so cold our hats have turned into ice caps.
It’s so cold the police told a robber to freeze, and he really did.
It’s so cold travel agencies are advertising tropical holidays to Alaska.
It’s so cold I tried to take out the garbage, but it refused to go.
It’s so cold we have to carry around hammers and chisels so we could get out of our clothes!
It’s so cold I saw Superman taking a taxi.
It’s so cold that I have to wave a blow-torch in front of my nose just to have a sneeze.
It’s so cold that even the snowmen are wearing sweaters!
It was so cold the mice were playing ice hockey in the toilet bowl.
It’s so cold the rats in the alley were bribing the cats for a snuggle.
It’s so cold that the Statue of Liberty put her torch inside her dress!
It’s so cold walruses were visiting the hardware store in search of more insulation.
It’s so cold we have to put skates on just to move around the house.
It's so cold that Starbucks started serving coffee on a stick.
It’s so cold we didn’t clean the house, we just defrosted it.
It’s so cold pet stores sell hamsters, gerbils, and penguins.
It’s so cold Levi Strauss started making electric jeans.
It’s so cold refrigerators are redundant.
It’s so cold that the snowflakes froze in the air and birds used them as stepping stones to get from tree to tree.
It’s so cold I swapped my pillow for a grill.
It’s so cold we had to punch a hole in the air just to get outside.
It’s so cold that bed bugs promised not to bite you as long as they can snuggle in your pajamas.
It’s so cold cops are tasering themselves.
It's so cold that when cows are milked, ice cream comes out.
It’s so cold we had to salt the hallway.
It’s so cold a glacier was seen heading slowly down the main street of our town.
It's so cold that the rock rattling around in your shoe is your toe.
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