It’s so cold that when we baked the frozen pizza in the oven for 25 minutes, it was still frozen.
It’s so cold that I have to wave a blow-torch in front of my nose just to have a sneeze.
It was so cold that we pulled everything out of the freezer and huddled inside to keep warm.
It’s so cold pickpockets are sticking their hands in strangers’ pockets just to keep them warm.
It’s so cold fish were jumping out of the ice holes and straight into the frying pan.
It’s so cold refrigerators are redundant.
It's so cold that I’m drinking hot sauce instead of coffee.
It's so cold that when cows are milked, ice cream comes out.
It’s so cold that even the polar bears started drinking hot chocolate.
It was so cold when I turned on the shower, I got hail.
It was so cold that I saw a Greyhound bus and the dog was riding on the inside.
It’s so cold walruses were visiting the hardware store in search of more insulation.
It's so cold that trees are chopping themselves into firewood.
It’s so cold the local graveyard put heaters out for the ghosts.
It's so cold hitchhikers were holding up pictures of thumbs!
It’s so cold we had to salt the hallway.
It’s so cold that when I needed an anesthetic, the dentist told me to stick my head out the hospital window.
It’s so cold we had to punch a hole in the air just to get outside.
It’s so cold Levi Strauss started making electric jeans.
It’s so cold every kind of cereal in the cupboard is frosted – including the boxes!
It's so cold that our words froze in midair — we had to put them in a frying pan to thaw them so we could hear what we were talking about.
It’s so cold my money turned into cold, hard cash.
It’s so cold teenagers began to worry about getting goosebumps rather than acne.
It’s so cold people with spiked hair were being arrested for carrying around a dangerous weapon.
It’s so cold I saw a gangsta with his pants pulled up.
It’s so cold I left Starbuck with mocha lattes and by the time I got to the car I had fudgicles.
It's so cold that Starbucks started serving coffee on a stick.
It’s so cold that even the ATM shows minus.
It's so cold that lawyers have their hands in their own pockets.
It’s so cold my mail shattered when I tried to open it.
It's so cold that you might have to chop up the piano for firewood (although you’ll only get two chords).
It’s so cold the flames of our fire froze.
It’s so cold that the Statue of Liberty put her torch inside her dress!
It’s so cold cops are tasering themselves.
It’s so cold that when I dialed the emergency number, there was a recording that said to call back in spring.
It was so cold when I blinked my eyes froze shut.
It's so cold that the optician was giving away free ice scrapers with every new pair of eyeglasses.
It’s so cold the police told a robber to freeze, and he really did.
It’s so cold my shadow ended up freezing on the sidewalk.
It’s so cold I actually enjoyed someone spilling hot coffee in my lap.
It's so cold that people started chipping their teeth on soup!
It’s so cold my hat wrapped itself in a scarf.
It’s so cold pet stores sell hamsters, gerbils, and penguins.
It’s so cold our hats have turned into ice caps.
It’s so cold travel agencies are advertising tropical holidays to Alaska.
It’s so cold the aquarium didn’t need to use glass. On the downside, the fish were motionless.
It’s so cold that I’m breathing out snowflakes!
It’s so cold that Jack Frost changed his name to Jack Froze.
It’s so cold kids are using a new excuse to stay up late: “But Mom, my pajamas haven’t thawed out yet!”
It’s so cold mum used a saw to serve us milk.
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