There once was a lad from West Philly Who played basketball and got silly He fought with some brothers Which worried his mother Now he's know as Bel Air's Fresh Prince, Willy
There once was a [person] from [place] Whose [body part] was [special case]. When [event] would occur, It would cause [him or her] To violate [law of time/space]
There once was a colour named orange,
A tutor who taught on the flute, tried to teach two young tooters to toot. Said the two to the tutor, "Is it harder to toot or, to tutor two tooters to toot?"
There once was a poet named Bates Whose limericks were never that great His first lines weren't bad But the problem he had Was he always tried to fit way too many syllables in at the end.
An executive reckless and bitter Made a fool of himself via Twitter "Please stop!" they entreated But in answer he Tweeted "If I do they'll call me a quitter!"
There once was a man from Peru, his limericks always end on line two.
There was a young woman named Jenny Whose limericks were not worth a penny. Oh, the rhyme was all right, And the meter was tight, But whenever she tried to write any, She always wrote one line too many!
A man was once offended By a pun writing contest he entered He submitted ten Sure that one would win But alas no pun in ten did.
There was a young man from Lahore Whose limericks stopped at line four. When asked why this was, He responded, "Because."
Once I visited France, And learned a new, awesome dance. I twirled, And I swirled, And then I lost my pants.
There once was a young man called Kyle, who worked at the circus a while. He flew through the air, with hardly a care, and that's why his body's in a pile.
I met her in chat, she was neat, her photo was pretty, petite. we met for a meal, I saw her for real, I screamed and then ran down the street!
The incredible Wizard of Oz, Retired from his business becoz. Due to up-to-date science, To most of his clients, He wasn't the Wizard he woz.
Remember when nearly sixteen, On your very first date as a teen. At the movies? If yes, Then I bet you can't guess, What was shown on the cinema screen.
Amazingly, antelope stew, Is supposedly better for you. Than a goulash of rat, Or Hungarian cat, But I guess that something you knew.
Is it me or the nature of money, That's odd and particularly funny. But when I have dough, It goes quickly, you know, And seeps out of my pockets like honey.
There once was a young boy named Nick, Who by chance was always being kicked. He tried not to fight, For he was smart, kind and bright, So he learned how to run really quick.
There was an old lady from Ghent, who slept on a bed of cement. Her bed was well used, and her body well bruised, and the back of her head had a dent.
There once was a man from York, who picked his nose with a fork. He went for a pluck, when it got stuck, and walked around looking like a dork.
An extremely slim model, Miss Slater, Was attacked by a croc and it ate 'er. Said her trainer, Tough deal, What a horrible meal, We should throw it some greens and potater.
There was a Young Lady whose chin, Resembled the point of a pin. So she had it made sharp, And purchased a harp, And played several tunes with her chin.
A crossword compiler named Moss, Who found himself quite at a loss. When asked, Why so blue? Said, I haven’t a clue I’m 2 Down to put 1 Across.
I'm papering walls in the loo, And quite frankly I haven't a clue. For the pattern's all wrong, Or the paper's too long, And I'm stuck to the toilet with glue.
There once was a wonderful star, Who thought she would go very far. Until she fell down, And looked like a clown, She knew she would never go far.
There was an Old Man with a gong, Who bumped at it all day long. But they called out, no more, You're a horrid old bore, So they smashed that Old Man with a gong.
There was a young lady from Niger, Who smiled as she rode on a tiger. They came back from the ride, With the lady inside, And the smile on the face of the tiger.
There was a Young Lady whose eyes, Were unique as to colour and size; When she opened them wide, People all turned aside, And started away in surprise.
An intrepid explorer named Petty, Intended to capture a yeti. But the yeti yelled, Freeze! I’ve a gun—on your knees, While my Dad gets the ring and confetti.
If you’re lacking a little good cheer, Go and tickle a bull in the rear. For I’m sure that the rumor, That they’ve no sense of humor, Is a product of ignorant fear.