Guy: "Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?"
Girl: "No, but I did scrape my knees a couple times crawling up from hell."
Man: "Voulez-vous vous coucher avec moi ce soir?" (Would you like to go to bed with me tonight?)
Woman: "Je voudrais bien, mais je n'ai rien a porter." (I would love to, but I have nothing to wear.)
Man: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
Woman: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.
Man: I'd go to the ends of the world for you!
Woman: Okay, but would you stay there?
Man: What would you say if I asked you to marry me?
Woman: Nothing. I can't talk and laugh at the same time.
Man: Hi! Didn't we go on a date once? Or was it twice?
Woman: Maybe once. I never make the same mistake twice!
Man: Baby, your body is a wonderland!
Woman: That's funny, because yours is a wasteland!
Man: Did you fall from heaven?
Woman: No, but I'm an Angel and died fifteen years ago... just like that pick up line.
Man: Do you think it was fate which brought us together?
Woman: Nah, it was plain bad luck!
Man: "I'd really like to get into your pants."
Woman: "No thanks. There's already one asshole in there."
Man: Your body is like a temple.
Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.
Man: I've lost my phone number can I have yours?
Woman: Sure, my number is 911-8473 (works better if you write it down)
Man: What are you looking at?
Woman: Somethin ugly!
Boy: You know quickie has u And i together.
Girl: Too bad ugly starts with a u.
Man: What do math and my dick have in common? They're both hard for you
Woman: You must be a math problem because you're annoying and difficult. I don't wanna solve your problems for you.
Man: I can make your bed rock
Woman: No you can't I have a Tempurpedic.
Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilized.
Man: Why don't you sit on my lap and we'll talk about the first thing that pops up?
Woman: No thanks, I don't like small talk.
Man: "Hey, baby, if you come home with me, I can show you a really good time."
Woman: "You know what your problem is? Your mouth is writing checks that your body can't cash."
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
I’d rather be dead
Than stuck with you!
Man: Hey baby, what's your sign?
Woman: Do not enter.
Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.
Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put you between F and CK
Woman: If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put you before GLY
Man: Do you work at the Bakery, cause you have a nice set of buns.
Woman: Do you work at a Grocery store? Then why are you checking me out?
Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.
Man: Your face must turn a few heads!
Woman: And your face must turn a few stomachs!
Man: Are those space pants.
Woman: No!, They're softball pants because my ass is out of your league.
Man: Any Generic Pick Up Line
Woman: "I like your approach, now let's see your departure."
Man: Do you know what'd look good on you? Me.
Woman: Do you know what'd look good on you? Nothing.
Man: "Wow, you're tall! How's the weather up there?"
Woman: "It's raining." and pour a glass on him.
Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator.
Man: If your left leg was breakfast and your right leg was lunch, I wouldn't be able to resist snacking between meals.
Woman: If your left leg was yoga and your right leg was cycling, I wouldn't be able to resist kickboxing between classes.
Man: "If I could rearrange the alphabet I would put U and I together."
Woman: "They got it right the first time with the N and O."
Old Man: "Where have you been all my life?"
Woman: "For the first half of it, I wasn't even born yet."
John, look me in the eyes. All of my life I needed a strong, good looking, confident man and you
are the one who can help me find someone like that.
Man: I'm a photographer. I've been looking for a face like yours.
Woman: I'm a plastic surgeon. I've been looking for a face like yours.
Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.