“Pride, commitment and teamwork are words they use to get you to work for free.” – Anonymous
“One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one’s work is terribly important.” — Bertrand Russell
“As I have gotten older and wiser I discovered that there are six things that I really loved about my job. Pay day, lunch time, quitting time, vacation time, holidays, and of course retirement.” — Tom Goins
“My keyboard must be broken, I keep hitting the escape key, but I’m still at work.” — Author Unknown
"Everybody makes mistakes. The trick is to make mistakes when no one is looking."
~ Anonymous
“Find a job you like and you add five days to every week."
~ H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
“Getting paid to sleep… that’s my dream job.” –Unknown
“Going to work for a large company is like getting on a train. Are you going sixty miles an hour or is the train going sixty miles an hour and you’re just sitting still?” — J. Paul Getty
“Why do people say they wish every day was Friday? If it was always Friday, we’d be here every freakin’ day.” — Ed Bernard
“All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence; then success is sure.” — Mark Twain
“A baseball game is twice as much fun if you’re seeing it on the company’s time.” — William C. Feather
“If owl parties aren't called hootenannies, this world will never make sense again."
- Reverend Badger
“I think Smithers picked me because of my motivational skills. Everyone says they have to work a lot harder when I’m around.” — Homer Simpson
“In fifty years, he never worked a day. To him, nine to five was odds on a horse."
~ Archie Bunker
“I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.” – Lily Tomlin
“The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you’ve got it.” — Groucho Marx
“I used to work at McDonald’s making minimum wage. You know what thay means? You know what your boss was trying to say? It’s like, ‘Hey if I could pay you less, I would, but it’s against the law.’” – Chris Rock
“It takes less time to do a thing right, than it does to explain why you did it wrong.” — Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
“It is better to have one person working with you than three people working for you.” — Dwight D. Eisenhower
“Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.” – Thomas Edison
“If you think you are too small to be effective, you have never been in the dark with a mosquito.” – Betty Reese
“There are two times in a man’s life when he should not speculate: when he can’t afford it, and when he can.” – Mark Twain
“Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?” — Edgar Bergen
“People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well neither does bathing. That’s why we recommend it daily.” – Zig Ziglar
“Work is a necessity for man. Man invented the alarm clock."
~ Pablo Picasso
“I believe in hard work. But, it will take some time to make this believe into a real thing!"
~ Anonymous
“My boss told me to start every presentation with a joke. The first slide was my paycheck.” – Anonymous
“We pretend to work because they pretend to pay us."
~ Anonymous
“It’s just a job. Grass grows, birds fly, waves pound the sand. I beat people up.”- Muhammad Ali
“The reward for good work is more work.” – Francesca Elisia
"The British soldier can stand up to anything except the British War Office."
~ George Bernard Shaw
“The easiest job in the world has to be coroner. Surgery on dead people. What’s the worst thing that could happen? If everything went wrong, maybe you’d get a pulse.” — Dennis Miller
“After Monday and Tuesday, even the calendar says WTF.” — Anonymous
“The best way to appreciate your job is to imagine yourself without one.” — Oscar Wilde
“I’m not retiring, I am graduating . . . retirement means that you’ll just go ahead and live on your laurels and surf all day in Oceanside. It ain’t going to happen.” – Junior Seau
“My son is now an ‘entrepreneur.’ That’s what you’re called when you don’t have a job.” – Ted Turner
“Going to work for a large company is like getting on a train. Are you going sixty miles an hour or is the train going sixty miles an hour and you’re just sitting still?"
~ J. Paul Getty
"If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the next morning you will have a flat tire."
~ Cannon’s Law
“No man goes before his time—unless the boss leaves early.” — Groucho Marx
“Hard work spotlights the character of people: some turn up their sleeves, some turn up their noses, and some don’t turn up at all.” – Sam Ewing
“Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.” — Groucho Marx
“The taxpayer—that’s someone who works for the federal government but doesn’t have to take the civil service examination.” — Ronald Reagan.
“If A equals success, then the formula is A = X + Y + Z. Where X is work. Y is play. Z is keep your mouth shut.” — Albert Einstein
“An expert is a man who has made all the mistakes which can be made in a very narrow field.” — Niels Bohr
“Early to bed and early to rise probably indicates unskilled labor.” – John Ciardi
“Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died."
~ Erma Bombeck
“Most of what we call management consists of making it difficult for people to get their work done.” — Peter Drucker
"The only place success comes before work is in the dictionary."
~ Vince Lombardi
“The closest to perfection a person ever comes is when he fills out a job application form.” — Stanley J. Randall
“The elevator to success is out of order. You’ll have to use the stairs… one step at a time.” — Joe Girard