“The easiest job in the world has to be coroner. Surgery on dead people. What’s the worst thing that could happen? If everything went wrong, maybe you’d get a pulse.” — Dennis Miller
“Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?” — Edgar Bergen
“Early to bed and early to rise probably indicates unskilled labor.” – John Ciardi
“Why do people say they wish every day was Friday? If it was always Friday, we’d be here every freakin’ day.” — Ed Bernard
“Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died."
~ Erma Bombeck
“I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early.” — Charles Lamb
“Work is a necessity for man. Man invented the alarm clock."
~ Pablo Picasso
“If you had to identify in one word the reason why the human race has not achieved and never will achieve its full potential, that word would be ‘meetings.” – Dave Barry
“My keyboard must be broken, I keep hitting the escape key, but I’m still at work.” — Author Unknown
“As I have gotten older and wiser I discovered that there are six things that I really loved about my job. Pay day, lunch time, quitting time, vacation time, holidays, and of course retirement.” — Tom Goins
“People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day!” — Anonymous
“A lot of fellows nowadays have a B.A., M.D., or Ph.D. Unfortunately, they don’t have a J.O.B.” – Fats Domino
“If A equals success, then the formula is A = X + Y + Z. Where X is work. Y is play. Z is keep your mouth shut.” — Albert Einstein
"Learn from the mistakes of others. You can’t live long enough to make them all yourself."
~ Anonymous
“Hard work spotlights the character of people: some turn up their sleeves, some turn up their noses, and some don’t turn up at all.” – Sam Ewing
“It is better to have one person working with you than three people working for you.” — Dwight D. Eisenhower
“Nothing is so embarrassing as watching someone do something that you said couldn’t be done.” – Sam Ewing
“Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.” – Thomas Edison
“Coworkers are like Christmas lights. They hang together, half of them don’t work and the other half aren’t so bright.” – Anonymous
“Be like a postage stamp. Stick to a thing till you get there.” — Josh Billings
“Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.” — Groucho Marx
“One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas I'll never know."
- Groucho Marx
“It’s just a job. Grass grows, birds fly, waves pound the sand. I beat people up.”- Muhammad Ali
“You can’t have a million dollar dream with a minimum wage worth ethic.” — Zig Ziglar
“A lot of people quit looking for work as soon as they find a job.” — Zig Ziglar
“It’s a funny feeling to work with people who you consider your colleagues and to realize that they actually are young enough to be your children."
~ Alan Alda
"Luck is a dividend of sweat. The more you sweat, the luckier you get."
~ Ray Kroc
"Hard work is damn near as overrated as monogamy."
~ Huey Long
“My son is now an ‘entrepreneur.’ That’s what you’re called when you don’t have a job.” – Ted Turner
Don’t be distracted by criticism. Remember, the only taste of success some people get is to take a bite out of you.” – Zig Ziglar
“Hear no evil, see no evil, and speak no evil—and you’ll never get a job working for a tabloid.” – Phil Pastoreta consultant.” – Scott Adams
"I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by."
~ Douglas Adams
“I always give 100% at Work: 10% Monday, 23% Tuesday, 40% Wednesday, 22% Thursday, and 5% Friday.” –Anonymous
“If hard work is the key to success, most people would rather pick the lock.” — Claude McDonald
“The problem with doing nothing is that you never know when you’re finished.” – Groucho Marx
“I work for myself, which is fun. Except when I call in sick, I know I’m lying. – Rita Rudner
“People who never do any more than they get paid for, never get paid for any more than they do.” — Elbert Hubbard
“Education cost money. But then again so does ignorance.” – Sir Claus Moser
“The reward for good work is more work.” – Francesca Elisia
“I like work; it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.” — Jerome K. Jerome
“Even if you are on the right track, you will get run over if you just sit there.” — Will Rogers
“We pretend to work because they pretend to pay us."
~ Anonymous
"If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the next morning you will have a flat tire."
~ Cannon’s Law
“There are two times in a man’s life when he should not speculate: when he can’t afford it, and when he can.” – Mark Twain
“I choose a lazy person to do a hard job, because a lazy person will find an easy way to do it.” — Bill Gates
“People who work sitting down get paid more than people who work standing up.” – Ogden Nash
“Most of what we call management consists of making it difficult for people to get their work done.” — Peter Drucker
“Unemployment is capitalism’s way of getting you to plant a garden."
~ Orson Scott Card
“The closest to perfection a person ever comes is when he fills out a job application form.” — Stanley J. Randall
“It takes less time to do a thing right, than it does to explain why you did it wrong.” — Henry Wadsworth Longfellow