"Learn from the mistakes of others. You can’t live long enough to make them all yourself."
~ Anonymous
“Beat the 5 o’clock rush, leave work at noon.” — Anonymous
“Oh, you hate your job? Why didn’t you say so? There’s a support group for that. It’s called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar."
~ Drew Carey
“Hear no evil, see no evil, and speak no evil—and you’ll never get a job working for a tabloid.” – Phil Pastoreta consultant.” – Scott Adams
“My job is fun! I should change this line once in a while. My brain has started to realize that I am lying to it every morning."
~ Anonymous
“Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.” — George Carlin
“Going to work for a large company is like getting on a train. Are you going sixty miles an hour or is the train going sixty miles an hour and you’re just sitting still?” — J. Paul Getty
“One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one’s work is terribly important.” — Bertrand Russell
"His insomnia was so bad, he couldn’t sleep during office hours."
~ Arthur Baer
“You can’t have a million dollar dream with a minimum wage worth ethic.” — Zig Ziglar
“I work for myself, which is fun. Except when I call in sick, I know I’m lying. – Rita Rudner
“Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.” — Groucho Marx
“My son is now an ‘entrepreneur.’ That’s what you’re called when you don’t have a job.” – Ted Turner
“We pretend to work because they pretend to pay us."
~ Anonymous
“The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you’ve got it.” — Groucho Marx
“A lot of fellows nowadays have a B.A., M.D., or Ph.D. Unfortunately, they don’t have a J.O.B.” – Fats Domino
“All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence; then success is sure.” — Mark Twain
“There’s something boring about people who have to go to an office for a living."
~ Karl Lagerfeld
“Nothing is so embarrassing as watching someone do something that you said couldn’t be done.” – Sam Ewing
"The only place success comes before work is in the dictionary."
~ Vince Lombardi
“Coworkers are like Christmas lights. They hang together, half of them don’t work and the other half aren’t so bright.” – Anonymous
“One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas I'll never know."
- Groucho Marx
“I always give 100% at Work: 10% Monday, 23% Tuesday, 40% Wednesday, 22% Thursday, and 5% Friday.” –Anonymous
“I hate when I lose things at work, like pens, papers, sanity and dreams.” – Anonymous
“Ambition is a poor excuse for not having sense enough to be lazy.” – Charlie McCarthy
“My favorite animal is steak."
- Fran Lebowitz
“My keyboard must be broken, I keep hitting the escape key, but I’m still at work.” — Author Unknown
“The best way to appreciate your job is to imagine yourself without one.” — Oscar Wilde
“I’ve got all the money I’ll ever need, if I die by four o’clock.” — Henny Youngman
“There’s no secret about success. Did you ever know a successful man who didn’t tell you about it?” -Kin Hubbard
“Going to work for a large company is like getting on a train. Are you going sixty miles an hour or is the train going sixty miles an hour and you’re just sitting still?"
~ J. Paul Getty
“Be like a postage stamp. Stick to a thing till you get there.” — Josh Billings
“Most of what we call management consists of making it difficult for people to get their work done.” — Peter Drucker
“It’s a funny feeling to work with people who you consider your colleagues and to realize that they actually are young enough to be your children."
~ Alan Alda
"The world is divided into people who do things–and people who get the credit."
~ Dwight Morrow
“Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They’re about to announce the lottery numbers.” — Homer Simpson
“It’s a shame that the only thing a man can do for eight hours a day is work. He can’t eat for eight hours; he can’t drink for eight hours; he can’t make love for eight hours. The only thing a man can do for eight hours is work.” — William Faulkner
“Unemployment is capitalism’s way of getting you to plant a garden."
~ Orson Scott Card
“It is better to have one person working with you than three people working for you.” — Dwight D. Eisenhower
“Pride, commitment and teamwork are words they use to get you to work for free.” – Anonymous
“The taxpayer—that’s someone who works for the federal government but doesn’t have to take the civil service examination.” — Ronald Reagan.
“People who work sitting down get paid more than people who work standing up.” – Ogden Nash
"The British soldier can stand up to anything except the British War Office."
~ George Bernard Shaw
“An expert is a man who has made all the mistakes which can be made in a very narrow field.” — Niels Bohr
“A diamond is merely a lump of coal that did well under pressure.” — Henry Kissenger
“If a man smiles all the time, he’s probably selling something that doesn’t work.” — Woody Allen
“Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died."
~ Erma Bombeck
“Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I’m not there, I go to work.” – Robert Orben
Don’t be distracted by criticism. Remember, the only taste of success some people get is to take a bite out of you.” – Zig Ziglar
“It’s just a job. Grass grows, birds fly, waves pound the sand. I beat people up.”- Muhammad Ali