“The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you’ve got it.” — Groucho Marx
“Leaders who don’t listen will eventually be surrounded by people who have nothing to say.” – Andy Stanley
“Most of what we call management consists of making it difficult for people to get their work done.” — Peter Drucker
"Show me a man who is a good loser and I’ll show you a man who is playing golf with his boss."
~ Jim Murray
“Saving is a very fine thing. Especially when your parents have done it for you.” – Winston Churchill
"If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the next morning you will have a flat tire."
~ Cannon’s Law
“The elevator to success is out of order. You’ll have to use the stairs… one step at a time.” — Joe Girard
“Unemployment is capitalism’s way of getting you to plant a garden."
~ Orson Scott Card
“If a man smiles all the time, he’s probably selling something that doesn’t work.” — Woody Allen
“I’m not retiring, I am graduating . . . retirement means that you’ll just go ahead and live on your laurels and surf all day in Oceanside. It ain’t going to happen.” – Junior Seau
“After Monday and Tuesday, even the calendar says WTF.” — Anonymous
“If owl parties aren't called hootenannies, this world will never make sense again."
- Reverend Badger
“Coworkers are like Christmas lights. They hang together, half of them don’t work and the other half aren’t so bright.” – Anonymous
“My job is fun! I should change this line once in a while. My brain has started to realize that I am lying to it every morning."
~ Anonymous
“When a man tells you that he got rich through hard work, ask him: ‘Whose?'” — Don Marquis
“Nothing is so embarrassing as watching someone do something that you said couldn’t be done.” – Sam Ewing
“People are still willing to do an honest day’s work. The problem is they want a week’s pay for it.” – Joey Adams
"I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by."
~ Douglas Adams
“Be like a postage stamp. Stick to a thing till you get there.” — Josh Billings
“It’s just a job. Grass grows, birds fly, waves pound the sand. I beat people up.”- Muhammad Ali
“A lot of fellows nowadays have a B.A., M.D., or Ph.D. Unfortunately, they don’t have a J.O.B.” – Fats Domino
“Getting paid to sleep… that’s my dream job.” –Unknown
“The only thing that ever sat its way to success was a hen.” — Sarah Brown
“Find a job you like and you add five days to every week."
~ H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
“Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.” – Thomas Edison
“My boss told me to start every presentation with a joke. The first slide was my paycheck.” – Anonymous
“If you think your boss is stupid, remember: you wouldn’t have a job if he was any smarter.” — John Gotti
“In fifty years, he never worked a day. To him, nine to five was odds on a horse."
~ Archie Bunker
“I choose a lazy person to do a hard job, because a lazy person will find an easy way to do it.” — Bill Gates
“Going to work for a large company is like getting on a train. Are you going sixty miles an hour or is the train going sixty miles an hour and you’re just sitting still?"
~ J. Paul Getty