“People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well neither does bathing. That’s why we recommend it daily.” – Zig Ziglar
“I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early.” — Charles Lamb
“Nothing is so embarrassing as watching someone do something that you said couldn’t be done.” – Sam Ewing
“Doing nothing is very hard to do… you never know when you’re finished.” — Leslie Nielsen
“God put me on this Earth to accomplish a certain number of things. Right now, I am so far behind I will never die."
~ Bill Watterson
"His insomnia was so bad, he couldn’t sleep during office hours."
~ Arthur Baer
“It takes less time to do a thing right, than it does to explain why you did it wrong.” — Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
“Hard work spotlights the character of people: some turn up their sleeves, some turn up their noses, and some don’t turn up at all.” – Sam Ewing
“After Monday and Tuesday, even the calendar says WTF.” — Anonymous
“The easiest job in the world has to be coroner. Surgery on dead people. What’s the worst thing that could happen? If everything went wrong, maybe you’d get a pulse.” — Dennis Miller
“It’s a shame that the only thing a man can do for eight hours a day is work. He can’t eat for eight hours; he can’t drink for eight hours; he can’t make love for eight hours. The only thing a man can do for eight hours is work.” — William Faulkner
“It’s just a job. Grass grows, birds fly, waves pound the sand. I beat people up.”- Muhammad Ali
“The closest to perfection a person ever comes is when he fills out a job application form.” — Stanley J. Randall
“You can’t have a million dollar dream with a minimum wage worth ethic.” — Zig Ziglar
“People who never do any more than they get paid for, never get paid for any more than they do.” — Elbert Hubbard
“The remaining work to finish in order to reach your goal increases as the deadline approaches."
~ Bove’s Theorem
“All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence; then success is sure.” — Mark Twain
“An expert is a man who has made all the mistakes which can be made in a very narrow field.” — Niels Bohr
“What I don’t like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day.” – Phyllis Diller
“If hard work is the key to success, most people would rather pick the lock.” — Claude McDonald
“I always give 100% at Work: 10% Monday, 23% Tuesday, 40% Wednesday, 22% Thursday, and 5% Friday.” –Anonymous
"Show me a man who is a good loser and I’ll show you a man who is playing golf with his boss."
~ Jim Murray
“Education cost money. But then again so does ignorance.” – Sir Claus Moser
“As I have gotten older and wiser I discovered that there are six things that I really loved about my job. Pay day, lunch time, quitting time, vacation time, holidays, and of course retirement.” — Tom Goins
“People who work sitting down get paid more than people who work standing up.” – Ogden Nash
“Most of what we call management consists of making it difficult for people to get their work done.” — Peter Drucker
“I’ve got all the money I’ll ever need, if I die by four o’clock.” — Henny Youngman
“My boss told me to start every presentation with a joke. The first slide was my paycheck.” – Anonymous
“I used to work at McDonald’s making minimum wage. You know what thay means? You know what your boss was trying to say? It’s like, ‘Hey if I could pay you less, I would, but it’s against the law.’” – Chris Rock
“Creativity is allowing yourself to make mistakes. Art is knowing which ones to keep.” – Scott Adams
“It is better to have one person working with you than three people working for you.” — Dwight D. Eisenhower
“Pride, commitment and teamwork are words they use to get you to work for free.” – Anonymous
“In fifty years, he never worked a day. To him, nine to five was odds on a horse."
~ Archie Bunker
“Early to bed and early to rise probably indicates unskilled labor.” – John Ciardi
“People are still willing to do an honest day’s work. The problem is they want a week’s pay for it.” – Joey Adams
“I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.” – Lily Tomlin
"The British soldier can stand up to anything except the British War Office."
~ George Bernard Shaw
"The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office.” — Robert Frost
“I choose a lazy person to do a hard job, because a lazy person will find an easy way to do it.” — Bill Gates
“I think Smithers picked me because of my motivational skills. Everyone says they have to work a lot harder when I’m around.” — Homer Simpson
“I hate when I lose things at work, like pens, papers, sanity and dreams.” – Anonymous
“A lot of fellows nowadays have a B.A., M.D., or Ph.D. Unfortunately, they don’t have a J.O.B.” – Fats Domino
“If A equals success, then the formula is A = X + Y + Z. Where X is work. Y is play. Z is keep your mouth shut.” — Albert Einstein
“Getting paid to sleep… that’s my dream job.” –Unknown
“A diamond is merely a lump of coal that did well under pressure.” — Henry Kissenger
“I like work; it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.” — Jerome K. Jerome
"The only place success comes before work is in the dictionary."
~ Vince Lombardi
Don’t be distracted by criticism. Remember, the only taste of success some people get is to take a bite out of you.” – Zig Ziglar
“If a man smiles all the time, he’s probably selling something that doesn’t work.” — Woody Allen
“One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas I'll never know."
- Groucho Marx