“What I don’t like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day.” – Phyllis Diller
“An expert is a man who has made all the mistakes which can be made in a very narrow field.” — Niels Bohr
“The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you’ve got it.” — Groucho Marx
“Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?” — Edgar Bergen
"Show me a man who is a good loser and I’ll show you a man who is playing golf with his boss."
~ Jim Murray
"Learn from the mistakes of others. You can’t live long enough to make them all yourself."
~ Anonymous
“Oh, you hate your job? Why didn’t you say so? There’s a support group for that. It’s called everybody, and they meet at the bar.” – Drew Carey
“A diamond is merely a lump of coal that did well under pressure.” — Henry Kissenger
"The world is divided into people who do things–and people who get the credit."
~ Dwight Morrow
“Pride, commitment and teamwork are words they use to get you to work for free.” – Anonymous
“The taxpayer—that’s someone who works for the federal government but doesn’t have to take the civil service examination.” — Ronald Reagan.
“We pretend to work because they pretend to pay us."
~ Anonymous
“I believe in hard work. But, it will take some time to make this believe into a real thing!"
~ Anonymous
“Education cost money. But then again so does ignorance.” – Sir Claus Moser
“Time is an illusion. Lunchtime is doubly so.” – Douglas Adams
“Unemployment is capitalism’s way of getting you to plant a garden."
~ Orson Scott Card
“I’ve got all the money I’ll ever need, if I die by four o’clock.” — Henny Youngman
“If a man smiles all the time, he’s probably selling something that doesn’t work.” — Woody Allen
“Anyone who can walk to the welfare office can walk to work."
~ Al Capp
“Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.” – Thomas Edison
“Work is the greatest thing in the world, so we should always save some of it for tomorrow.” — Don Herold
“When a man tells you that he got rich through hard work, ask him: ‘Whose?'” — Don Marquis
“The easiest job in the world has to be coroner. Surgery on dead people. What’s the worst thing that could happen? If everything went wrong, maybe you’d get a pulse.” — Dennis Miller
“Oh, you hate your job? Why didn’t you say so? There’s a support group for that. It’s called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar."
~ Drew Carey
“People are still willing to do an honest day’s work. The problem is they want a week’s pay for it.” – Joey Adams
“You can’t have a million dollar dream with a minimum wage worth ethic.” — Zig Ziglar
“The closest to perfection a person ever comes is when he fills out a job application form.” — Stanley J. Randall
“I hate when I lose things at work, like pens, papers, sanity and dreams.” – Anonymous
“Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.” — Groucho Marx
“The only thing that ever sat its way to success was a hen.” — Sarah Brown
“Coworkers are like Christmas lights. They hang together, half of them don’t work and the other half aren’t so bright.” – Anonymous
“Lisa, if you don’t like your job you don’t strike. You just go in every day and do it really half-assed. That’s the American way."
~ Homer Simpson
“People who work sitting down get paid more than people who work standing up.” – Ogden Nash
“If owl parties aren't called hootenannies, this world will never make sense again."
- Reverend Badger
“There’s something boring about people who have to go to an office for a living."
~ Karl Lagerfeld
“The best way to appreciate your job is to imagine yourself without one.” — Oscar Wilde
“People who never do any more than they get paid for, never get paid for any more than they do.” — Elbert Hubbard
“My keyboard must be broken, I keep hitting the escape key, but I’m still at work.” — Author Unknown
“I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early.” — Charles Lamb
“No man goes before his time—unless the boss leaves early.” — Groucho Marx
“The problem with doing nothing is that you never know when you’re finished.” – Groucho Marx
“Early to bed and early to rise probably indicates unskilled labor.” – John Ciardi
Don’t be distracted by criticism. Remember, the only taste of success some people get is to take a bite out of you.” – Zig Ziglar
“Ambition is a poor excuse for not having sense enough to be lazy.” – Charlie McCarthy
“I like work; it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.” — Jerome K. Jerome
“It’s a shame that the only thing a man can do for eight hours a day is work. He can’t eat for eight hours; he can’t drink for eight hours; he can’t make love for eight hours. The only thing a man can do for eight hours is work.” — William Faulkner
“As I have gotten older and wiser I discovered that there are six things that I really loved about my job. Pay day, lunch time, quitting time, vacation time, holidays, and of course retirement.” — Tom Goins
“I work for myself, which is fun. Except when I call in sick, I know I’m lying. – Rita Rudner
“Work is against human nature. The proof is that it makes us tired. – Michel Tournier
“The remaining work to finish in order to reach your goal increases as the deadline approaches."
~ Bove’s Theorem