"Hard work is damn near as overrated as monogamy."
~ Huey Long
“People who never do any more than they get paid for, never get paid for any more than they do.” — Elbert Hubbard
“Be like a postage stamp. Stick to a thing till you get there.” — Josh Billings
“I’ve got all the money I’ll ever need, if I die by four o’clock.” — Henny Youngman
"Learn from the mistakes of others. You can’t live long enough to make them all yourself."
~ Anonymous
“One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one’s work is terribly important.” — Bertrand Russell
“I hate when I lose things at work, like pens, papers, sanity and dreams.” – Anonymous
"The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office.” — Robert Frost
“Work is against human nature. The proof is that it makes us tired. – Michel Tournier
“Education cost money. But then again so does ignorance.” – Sir Claus Moser
“Doing nothing is very hard to do… you never know when you’re finished.” — Leslie Nielsen
“My boss told me to start every presentation with a joke. The first slide was my paycheck.” – Anonymous
“I used to work at McDonald’s making minimum wage. You know what thay means? You know what your boss was trying to say? It’s like, ‘Hey if I could pay you less, I would, but it’s against the law.’” – Chris Rock
“It takes less time to do a thing right, than it does to explain why you did it wrong.” — Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
“Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.” — George Carlin
“The remaining work to finish in order to reach your goal increases as the deadline approaches."
~ Bove’s Theorem
“Even if you are on the right track, you will get run over if you just sit there.” — Will Rogers
“God put me on this Earth to accomplish a certain number of things. Right now, I am so far behind I will never die."
~ Bill Watterson
“A lot of fellows nowadays have a B.A., M.D., or Ph.D. Unfortunately, they don’t have a J.O.B.” – Fats Domino
“Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I’m not there, I go to work.” – Robert Orben
“People are still willing to do an honest day’s work. The problem is they want a week’s pay for it.” – Joey Adams
“I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early.” — Charles Lamb
"Everybody makes mistakes. The trick is to make mistakes when no one is looking."
~ Anonymous
"His insomnia was so bad, he couldn’t sleep during office hours."
~ Arthur Baer
“Early to bed and early to rise probably indicates unskilled labor.” – John Ciardi
“Saving is a very fine thing. Especially when your parents have done it for you.” – Winston Churchill
“Hear no evil, see no evil, and speak no evil—and you’ll never get a job working for a tabloid.” – Phil Pastoreta consultant.” – Scott Adams
“The taxpayer—that’s someone who works for the federal government but doesn’t have to take the civil service examination.” — Ronald Reagan.
“I am a friend of the workingman, and I would rather be his friend, than be one.” — Clarence Darrow.
“Like vinegar to the teeth, and smoke to the eyes, so are the lazy to their employers.” – Proverb 10:26
“Creativity is allowing yourself to make mistakes. Art is knowing which ones to keep.” – Scott Adams
“In fifty years, he never worked a day. To him, nine to five was odds on a horse."
~ Archie Bunker
“My favorite animal is steak."
- Fran Lebowitz
“Ambition is a poor excuse for not having sense enough to be lazy.” – Charlie McCarthy
“Going to work for a large company is like getting on a train. Are you going sixty miles an hour or is the train going sixty miles an hour and you’re just sitting still?” — J. Paul Getty
“My keyboard must be broken, I keep hitting the escape key, but I’m still at work.” — Author Unknown
“I choose a lazy person to do a hard job, because a lazy person will find an easy way to do it.” — Bill Gates
"The world is divided into people who do things–and people who get the credit."
~ Dwight Morrow
“When I was 16 I worked in a pet store, and they fired me because . . . they had three snakes, and one day I braided them.” – Steven Alexander Wright
“We pretend to work because they pretend to pay us."
~ Anonymous
“Getting paid to sleep… that’s my dream job.” –Unknown
“No man goes before his time—unless the boss leaves early.” — Groucho Marx
“What I don’t like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day.” – Phyllis Diller
Don’t be distracted by criticism. Remember, the only taste of success some people get is to take a bite out of you.” – Zig Ziglar
“Work is a necessity for man. Man invented the alarm clock."
~ Pablo Picasso
“The problem with doing nothing is that you never know when you’re finished.” – Groucho Marx
“I believe in hard work. But, it will take some time to make this believe into a real thing!"
~ Anonymous
“It’s a shame that the only thing a man can do for eight hours a day is work. He can’t eat for eight hours; he can’t drink for eight hours; he can’t make love for eight hours. The only thing a man can do for eight hours is work.” — William Faulkner
“Anyone who can walk to the welfare office can walk to work."
~ Al Capp
“Why do people say they wish every day was Friday? If it was always Friday, we’d be here every freakin’ day.” — Ed Bernard