“Time is an illusion. Lunchtime is doubly so.” – Douglas Adams
“I like work; it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.” — Jerome K. Jerome
“I hate when I lose things at work, like pens, papers, sanity and dreams.” – Anonymous
"The only place success comes before work is in the dictionary."
~ Vince Lombardi
“The problem with doing nothing is that you never know when you’re finished.” – Groucho Marx
“I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early.” — Charles Lamb
“People are still willing to do an honest day’s work. The problem is they want a week’s pay for it.” – Joey Adams
“It is better to have one person working with you than three people working for you.” — Dwight D. Eisenhower
“Like vinegar to the teeth, and smoke to the eyes, so are the lazy to their employers.” – Proverb 10:26
“When I was 16 I worked in a pet store, and they fired me because . . . they had three snakes, and one day I braided them.” – Steven Alexander Wright
“When a man tells you that he got rich through hard work, ask him: ‘Whose?'” — Don Marquis
“God put me on this Earth to accomplish a certain number of things. Right now, I am so far behind I will never die."
~ Bill Watterson
“Oh, you hate your job? Why didn’t you say so? There’s a support group for that. It’s called everybody, and they meet at the bar.” – Drew Carey
“I always give 100% at Work: 10% Monday, 23% Tuesday, 40% Wednesday, 22% Thursday, and 5% Friday.” –Anonymous
“Ambition is a poor excuse for not having sense enough to be lazy.” – Charlie McCarthy
"The British soldier can stand up to anything except the British War Office."
~ George Bernard Shaw
“Doing nothing is very hard to do… you never know when you’re finished.” — Leslie Nielsen
“If A equals success, then the formula is A = X + Y + Z. Where X is work. Y is play. Z is keep your mouth shut.” — Albert Einstein
“It’s a shame that the only thing a man can do for eight hours a day is work. He can’t eat for eight hours; he can’t drink for eight hours; he can’t make love for eight hours. The only thing a man can do for eight hours is work.” — William Faulkner
"Hard work is damn near as overrated as monogamy."
~ Huey Long
“Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died."
~ Erma Bombeck
“Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They’re about to announce the lottery numbers.” — Homer Simpson
“Most of what we call management consists of making it difficult for people to get their work done.” — Peter Drucker
“My job is fun! I should change this line once in a while. My brain has started to realize that I am lying to it every morning."
~ Anonymous
"His insomnia was so bad, he couldn’t sleep during office hours."
~ Arthur Baer
“Hard work spotlights the character of people: some turn up their sleeves, some turn up their noses, and some don’t turn up at all.” – Sam Ewing
“People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well neither does bathing. That’s why we recommend it daily.” – Zig Ziglar
“Creativity is allowing yourself to make mistakes. Art is knowing which ones to keep.” – Scott Adams
“You can’t have a million dollar dream with a minimum wage worth ethic.” — Zig Ziglar
Don’t be distracted by criticism. Remember, the only taste of success some people get is to take a bite out of you.” – Zig Ziglar
“If you think you are too small to be effective, you have never been in the dark with a mosquito.” – Betty Reese
“The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you’ve got it.” — Groucho Marx
“If you think your boss is stupid, remember: you wouldn’t have a job if he was any smarter.” — John Gotti
“The elevator to success is out of order. You’ll have to use the stairs… one step at a time.” — Joe Girard
“A lot of fellows nowadays have a B.A., M.D., or Ph.D. Unfortunately, they don’t have a J.O.B.” – Fats Domino
“I am a friend of the workingman, and I would rather be his friend, than be one.” — Clarence Darrow.
“Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I’m not there, I go to work.” – Robert Orben
“My favorite animal is steak."
- Fran Lebowitz
“After Monday and Tuesday, even the calendar says WTF.” — Anonymous
“What I don’t like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day.” – Phyllis Diller
“The best way to appreciate your job is to imagine yourself without one.” — Oscar Wilde
“The closest to perfection a person ever comes is when he fills out a job application form.” — Stanley J. Randall
“The taxpayer—that’s someone who works for the federal government but doesn’t have to take the civil service examination.” — Ronald Reagan.
“Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?” — Edgar Bergen
“I think Smithers picked me because of my motivational skills. Everyone says they have to work a lot harder when I’m around.” — Homer Simpson
“Getting paid to sleep… that’s my dream job.” –Unknown
“In fifty years, he never worked a day. To him, nine to five was odds on a horse."
~ Archie Bunker
“Going to work for a large company is like getting on a train. Are you going sixty miles an hour or is the train going sixty miles an hour and you’re just sitting still?” — J. Paul Getty
“Coworkers are like Christmas lights. They hang together, half of them don’t work and the other half aren’t so bright.” – Anonymous
"Show me a man who is a good loser and I’ll show you a man who is playing golf with his boss."
~ Jim Murray