Don’t be distracted by criticism. Remember, the only taste of success some people get is to take a bite out of you.” – Zig Ziglar
“There’s no secret about success. Did you ever know a successful man who didn’t tell you about it?” -Kin Hubbard
“Lisa, if you don’t like your job you don’t strike. You just go in every day and do it really half-assed. That’s the American way."
~ Homer Simpson
“If A equals success, then the formula is A = X + Y + Z. Where X is work. Y is play. Z is keep your mouth shut.” — Albert Einstein
“Coworkers are like Christmas lights. They hang together, half of them don’t work and the other half aren’t so bright.” – Anonymous
“Work is the greatest thing in the world, so we should always save some of it for tomorrow.” — Don Herold
“People who never do any more than they get paid for, never get paid for any more than they do.” — Elbert Hubbard
“Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died."
~ Erma Bombeck
“The remaining work to finish in order to reach your goal increases as the deadline approaches."
~ Bove’s Theorem
“Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I’m not there, I go to work.” – Robert Orben
“The closest to perfection a person ever comes is when he fills out a job application form.” — Stanley J. Randall
“If you had to identify in one word the reason why the human race has not achieved and never will achieve its full potential, that word would be ‘meetings.” – Dave Barry
“Hear no evil, see no evil, and speak no evil—and you’ll never get a job working for a tabloid.” – Phil Pastoreta consultant.” – Scott Adams
“I like work; it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.” — Jerome K. Jerome
“I believe in hard work. But, it will take some time to make this believe into a real thing!"
~ Anonymous
“It is better to have one person working with you than three people working for you.” — Dwight D. Eisenhower
“The problem with doing nothing is that you never know when you’re finished.” – Groucho Marx
“Anyone who can walk to the welfare office can walk to work."
~ Al Capp
“Creativity is allowing yourself to make mistakes. Art is knowing which ones to keep.” – Scott Adams
“We pretend to work because they pretend to pay us."
~ Anonymous
"The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office.” — Robert Frost
“It’s a funny feeling to work with people who you consider your colleagues and to realize that they actually are young enough to be your children."
~ Alan Alda
“You can’t have a million dollar dream with a minimum wage worth ethic.” — Zig Ziglar
“My keyboard must be broken, I keep hitting the escape key, but I’m still at work.” — Author Unknown
“Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?” — Edgar Bergen
“I am a friend of the workingman, and I would rather be his friend, than be one.” — Clarence Darrow.
"His insomnia was so bad, he couldn’t sleep during office hours."
~ Arthur Baer
“After Monday and Tuesday, even the calendar says WTF.” — Anonymous
“There’s something boring about people who have to go to an office for a living."
~ Karl Lagerfeld
“Education cost money. But then again so does ignorance.” – Sir Claus Moser
“If hard work is the key to success, most people would rather pick the lock.” — Claude McDonald
“Nothing is so embarrassing as watching someone do something that you said couldn’t be done.” – Sam Ewing
“When I was 16 I worked in a pet store, and they fired me because . . . they had three snakes, and one day I braided them.” – Steven Alexander Wright
“What I don’t like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day.” – Phyllis Diller
“My boss told me to start every presentation with a joke. The first slide was my paycheck.” – Anonymous
“Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.” — Groucho Marx
“The only thing that ever sat its way to success was a hen.” — Sarah Brown
“As I have gotten older and wiser I discovered that there are six things that I really loved about my job. Pay day, lunch time, quitting time, vacation time, holidays, and of course retirement.” — Tom Goins
“Most of what we call management consists of making it difficult for people to get their work done.” — Peter Drucker
“A diamond is merely a lump of coal that did well under pressure.” — Henry Kissenger
“A baseball game is twice as much fun if you’re seeing it on the company’s time.” — William C. Feather
“It takes less time to do a thing right, than it does to explain why you did it wrong.” — Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
“Why do people say they wish every day was Friday? If it was always Friday, we’d be here every freakin’ day.” — Ed Bernard
“Leaders who don’t listen will eventually be surrounded by people who have nothing to say.” – Andy Stanley
“Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They’re about to announce the lottery numbers.” — Homer Simpson
“Work is a necessity for man. Man invented the alarm clock."
~ Pablo Picasso
"Hard work is damn near as overrated as monogamy."
~ Huey Long
“My job is fun! I should change this line once in a while. My brain has started to realize that I am lying to it every morning."
~ Anonymous
“I hate when I lose things at work, like pens, papers, sanity and dreams.” – Anonymous
“There are two times in a man’s life when he should not speculate: when he can’t afford it, and when he can.” – Mark Twain