“The easiest job in the world has to be coroner. Surgery on dead people. What’s the worst thing that could happen? If everything went wrong, maybe you’d get a pulse.” — Dennis Miller
“Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I’m not there, I go to work.” – Robert Orben
“It’s a shame that the only thing a man can do for eight hours a day is work. He can’t eat for eight hours; he can’t drink for eight hours; he can’t make love for eight hours. The only thing a man can do for eight hours is work.” — William Faulkner
“Education cost money. But then again so does ignorance.” – Sir Claus Moser
“My son is now an ‘entrepreneur.’ That’s what you’re called when you don’t have a job.” – Ted Turner
“My job is fun! I should change this line once in a while. My brain has started to realize that I am lying to it every morning."
~ Anonymous
“A diamond is merely a lump of coal that did well under pressure.” — Henry Kissenger
“If you think you are too small to be effective, you have never been in the dark with a mosquito.” – Betty Reese
"Luck is a dividend of sweat. The more you sweat, the luckier you get."
~ Ray Kroc
“Work is against human nature. The proof is that it makes us tired. – Michel Tournier
“Getting paid to sleep… that’s my dream job.” –Unknown
"The British soldier can stand up to anything except the British War Office."
~ George Bernard Shaw
“Early to bed and early to rise probably indicates unskilled labor.” – John Ciardi
“A baseball game is twice as much fun if you’re seeing it on the company’s time.” — William C. Feather
“If owl parties aren't called hootenannies, this world will never make sense again."
- Reverend Badger
“Pride, commitment and teamwork are words they use to get you to work for free.” – Anonymous
“Work is a necessity for man. Man invented the alarm clock."
~ Pablo Picasso
“Why do people say they wish every day was Friday? If it was always Friday, we’d be here every freakin’ day.” — Ed Bernard
“A lot of fellows nowadays have a B.A., M.D., or Ph.D. Unfortunately, they don’t have a J.O.B.” – Fats Domino
“The reward for good work is more work.” – Francesca Elisia
“Hear no evil, see no evil, and speak no evil—and you’ll never get a job working for a tabloid.” – Phil Pastoreta consultant.” – Scott Adams
“I’ve got all the money I’ll ever need, if I die by four o’clock.” — Henny Youngman
“Hard work spotlights the character of people: some turn up their sleeves, some turn up their noses, and some don’t turn up at all.” – Sam Ewing
“If you think your boss is stupid, remember: you wouldn’t have a job if he was any smarter.” — John Gotti
“You can’t have a million dollar dream with a minimum wage worth ethic.” — Zig Ziglar
“It is better to have one person working with you than three people working for you.” — Dwight D. Eisenhower
"Everybody makes mistakes. The trick is to make mistakes when no one is looking."
~ Anonymous
“I always give 100% at Work: 10% Monday, 23% Tuesday, 40% Wednesday, 22% Thursday, and 5% Friday.” –Anonymous
“Executive ability is deciding quickly and getting somebody else to do the work.” – Earl Nightingale
"Hard work is damn near as overrated as monogamy."
~ Huey Long
“Find a job you like and you add five days to every week."
~ H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
“If a man smiles all the time, he’s probably selling something that doesn’t work.” — Woody Allen
“Saving is a very fine thing. Especially when your parents have done it for you.” – Winston Churchill
“There are two times in a man’s life when he should not speculate: when he can’t afford it, and when he can.” – Mark Twain
“If you had to identify in one word the reason why the human race has not achieved and never will achieve its full potential, that word would be ‘meetings.” – Dave Barry
“The best way to appreciate your job is to imagine yourself without one.” — Oscar Wilde
“Be like a postage stamp. Stick to a thing till you get there.” — Josh Billings
“The remaining work to finish in order to reach your goal increases as the deadline approaches."
~ Bove’s Theorem
“All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence; then success is sure.” — Mark Twain
“The only thing that ever sat its way to success was a hen.” — Sarah Brown
“The closest to perfection a person ever comes is when he fills out a job application form.” — Stanley J. Randall
“I choose a lazy person to do a hard job, because a lazy person will find an easy way to do it.” — Bill Gates
“If A equals success, then the formula is A = X + Y + Z. Where X is work. Y is play. Z is keep your mouth shut.” — Albert Einstein
“A lot of people quit looking for work as soon as they find a job.” — Zig Ziglar
“My keyboard must be broken, I keep hitting the escape key, but I’m still at work.” — Author Unknown
“Like vinegar to the teeth, and smoke to the eyes, so are the lazy to their employers.” – Proverb 10:26
“Most of what we call management consists of making it difficult for people to get their work done.” — Peter Drucker
“I hate when I lose things at work, like pens, papers, sanity and dreams.” – Anonymous
“People who never do any more than they get paid for, never get paid for any more than they do.” — Elbert Hubbard
“Unemployment is capitalism’s way of getting you to plant a garden."
~ Orson Scott Card