“I am a friend of the workingman, and I would rather be his friend, than be one.” — Clarence Darrow.
“The easiest job in the world has to be coroner. Surgery on dead people. What’s the worst thing that could happen? If everything went wrong, maybe you’d get a pulse.” — Dennis Miller
“You can’t have a million dollar dream with a minimum wage worth ethic.” — Zig Ziglar
“Work is a necessity for man. Man invented the alarm clock."
~ Pablo Picasso
“I work for myself, which is fun. Except when I call in sick, I know I’m lying. – Rita Rudner
“If you think your boss is stupid, remember: you wouldn’t have a job if he was any smarter.” — John Gotti
“I choose a lazy person to do a hard job, because a lazy person will find an easy way to do it.” — Bill Gates
“Like vinegar to the teeth, and smoke to the eyes, so are the lazy to their employers.” – Proverb 10:26
“Saving is a very fine thing. Especially when your parents have done it for you.” – Winston Churchill
“My son is now an ‘entrepreneur.’ That’s what you’re called when you don’t have a job.” – Ted Turner
“There’s no secret about success. Did you ever know a successful man who didn’t tell you about it?” -Kin Hubbard
“People are still willing to do an honest day’s work. The problem is they want a week’s pay for it.” – Joey Adams
“People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day!” — Anonymous
“The only thing that ever sat its way to success was a hen.” — Sarah Brown
"Hard work is damn near as overrated as monogamy."
~ Huey Long
“If hard work is the key to success, most people would rather pick the lock.” — Claude McDonald
“Even if you are on the right track, you will get run over if you just sit there.” — Will Rogers
“I hate when I lose things at work, like pens, papers, sanity and dreams.” – Anonymous
“It’s just a job. Grass grows, birds fly, waves pound the sand. I beat people up.”- Muhammad Ali
“It’s a funny feeling to work with people who you consider your colleagues and to realize that they actually are young enough to be your children."
~ Alan Alda
“Most of what we call management consists of making it difficult for people to get their work done.” — Peter Drucker
“I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early.” — Charles Lamb
“Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died."
~ Erma Bombeck
“Unemployment is capitalism’s way of getting you to plant a garden."
~ Orson Scott Card
“A baseball game is twice as much fun if you’re seeing it on the company’s time.” — William C. Feather
“There are two times in a man’s life when he should not speculate: when he can’t afford it, and when he can.” – Mark Twain
“The remaining work to finish in order to reach your goal increases as the deadline approaches."
~ Bove’s Theorem
“Beat the 5 o’clock rush, leave work at noon.” — Anonymous
“No man goes before his time—unless the boss leaves early.” — Groucho Marx
"I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by."
~ Douglas Adams
“An expert is a man who has made all the mistakes which can be made in a very narrow field.” — Niels Bohr
“Ambition is a poor excuse for not having sense enough to be lazy.” – Charlie McCarthy
“God put me on this Earth to accomplish a certain number of things. Right now, I am so far behind I will never die."
~ Bill Watterson
“The best way to appreciate your job is to imagine yourself without one.” — Oscar Wilde
“It’s a shame that the only thing a man can do for eight hours a day is work. He can’t eat for eight hours; he can’t drink for eight hours; he can’t make love for eight hours. The only thing a man can do for eight hours is work.” — William Faulkner
“Nothing is so embarrassing as watching someone do something that you said couldn’t be done.” – Sam Ewing
“If a man smiles all the time, he’s probably selling something that doesn’t work.” — Woody Allen
“I like work; it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.” — Jerome K. Jerome
"Show me a man who is a good loser and I’ll show you a man who is playing golf with his boss."
~ Jim Murray
“After Monday and Tuesday, even the calendar says WTF.” — Anonymous
“Find a job you like and you add five days to every week."
~ H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
"The world is divided into people who do things–and people who get the credit."
~ Dwight Morrow
"The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office.” — Robert Frost
“Lisa, if you don’t like your job you don’t strike. You just go in every day and do it really half-assed. That’s the American way."
~ Homer Simpson
“One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one’s work is terribly important.” — Bertrand Russell
“Oh, you hate your job? Why didn’t you say so? There’s a support group for that. It’s called everybody, and they meet at the bar.” – Drew Carey
“When a man tells you that he got rich through hard work, ask him: ‘Whose?'” — Don Marquis
“It is better to have one person working with you than three people working for you.” — Dwight D. Eisenhower
“Leaders who don’t listen will eventually be surrounded by people who have nothing to say.” – Andy Stanley
“I think Smithers picked me because of my motivational skills. Everyone says they have to work a lot harder when I’m around.” — Homer Simpson