“There are two times in a man’s life when he should not speculate: when he can’t afford it, and when he can.” – Mark Twain
“It is better to have one person working with you than three people working for you.” — Dwight D. Eisenhower
“If you had to identify in one word the reason why the human race has not achieved and never will achieve its full potential, that word would be ‘meetings.” – Dave Barry
“I used to work at McDonald’s making minimum wage. You know what thay means? You know what your boss was trying to say? It’s like, ‘Hey if I could pay you less, I would, but it’s against the law.’” – Chris Rock
“I choose a lazy person to do a hard job, because a lazy person will find an easy way to do it.” — Bill Gates
“One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one’s work is terribly important.” — Bertrand Russell
“When I was 16 I worked in a pet store, and they fired me because . . . they had three snakes, and one day I braided them.” – Steven Alexander Wright
“The easiest job in the world has to be coroner. Surgery on dead people. What’s the worst thing that could happen? If everything went wrong, maybe you’d get a pulse.” — Dennis Miller
“There’s no secret about success. Did you ever know a successful man who didn’t tell you about it?” -Kin Hubbard
“The best way to appreciate your job is to imagine yourself without one.” — Oscar Wilde
“We pretend to work because they pretend to pay us."
~ Anonymous
“The closest to perfection a person ever comes is when he fills out a job application form.” — Stanley J. Randall
“The reward for good work is more work.” – Francesca Elisia
“No man goes before his time—unless the boss leaves early.” — Groucho Marx
“My son is now an ‘entrepreneur.’ That’s what you’re called when you don’t have a job.” – Ted Turner
“The taxpayer—that’s someone who works for the federal government but doesn’t have to take the civil service examination.” — Ronald Reagan.
“If owl parties aren't called hootenannies, this world will never make sense again."
- Reverend Badger
“People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well neither does bathing. That’s why we recommend it daily.” – Zig Ziglar
“Lisa, if you don’t like your job you don’t strike. You just go in every day and do it really half-assed. That’s the American way."
~ Homer Simpson
“An expert is a man who has made all the mistakes which can be made in a very narrow field.” — Niels Bohr
“It’s just a job. Grass grows, birds fly, waves pound the sand. I beat people up.”- Muhammad Ali
“The problem with doing nothing is that you never know when you’re finished.” – Groucho Marx
“You can’t have a million dollar dream with a minimum wage worth ethic.” — Zig Ziglar
“Work is a necessity for man. Man invented the alarm clock."
~ Pablo Picasso
"The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office.” — Robert Frost
“Nothing is so embarrassing as watching someone do something that you said couldn’t be done.” – Sam Ewing
“Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I’m not there, I go to work.” – Robert Orben
“God put me on this Earth to accomplish a certain number of things. Right now, I am so far behind I will never die."
~ Bill Watterson
"Learn from the mistakes of others. You can’t live long enough to make them all yourself."
~ Anonymous
“Getting paid to sleep… that’s my dream job.” –Unknown
“I always give 100% at Work: 10% Monday, 23% Tuesday, 40% Wednesday, 22% Thursday, and 5% Friday.” –Anonymous
“Going to work for a large company is like getting on a train. Are you going sixty miles an hour or is the train going sixty miles an hour and you’re just sitting still?"
~ J. Paul Getty
“When a man tells you that he got rich through hard work, ask him: ‘Whose?'” — Don Marquis
“After Monday and Tuesday, even the calendar says WTF.” — Anonymous
“Hear no evil, see no evil, and speak no evil—and you’ll never get a job working for a tabloid.” – Phil Pastoreta consultant.” – Scott Adams
“Saving is a very fine thing. Especially when your parents have done it for you.” – Winston Churchill
"An expert is a man who has made all the mistakes which can be made in a very narrow field."
~ Niels Bohr
“Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.” — Groucho Marx
“People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day!” — Anonymous
“Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died."
~ Erma Bombeck
"Show me a man who is a good loser and I’ll show you a man who is playing golf with his boss."
~ Jim Murray
“People are still willing to do an honest day’s work. The problem is they want a week’s pay for it.” – Joey Adams
“Even if you are on the right track, you will get run over if you just sit there.” — Will Rogers
“Ambition is a poor excuse for not having sense enough to be lazy.” – Charlie McCarthy
“The remaining work to finish in order to reach your goal increases as the deadline approaches."
~ Bove’s Theorem
“Oh, you hate your job? Why didn’t you say so? There’s a support group for that. It’s called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar."
~ Drew Carey
“Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They’re about to announce the lottery numbers.” — Homer Simpson
“Leaders who don’t listen will eventually be surrounded by people who have nothing to say.” – Andy Stanley
“My boss told me to start every presentation with a joke. The first slide was my paycheck.” – Anonymous
“Time is an illusion. Lunchtime is doubly so.” – Douglas Adams