“Money is the opposite of the weather. Nobody talks about it, but everybody does something about it.” – Rebecca Johnson
“Money can’t buy you happiness, but it can buy you a yacht big enough to pull up right alongside it." ~ David Lee Roth
“If only God would give me a clear sign, like making a large deposit in my swiss bank account." ~ Woody Allen
“Women prefer men who have something tender about them – especially the legal kind." ~Kay Ingram
“Carpe per diem – seize the check.” – Robin Williams.
“I love money. I love everything about it. I bought some pretty good stuff. Got me a $300 pair of socks. Got a fur sink. An electric dog polisher. A gasoline powered turtleneck sweater. And, of course, I bought some dumb stuff, too.” – Steve Martin
"Car sickness is the feeling you get when the monthly payment is due." ~Author Unknown
"Why is there so much month left at the end of the money?" ~ John Barrymore
“They were a people so primitive they did not know how to get money, except by working for it.” Joseph Addison.
"I’m so poor I can’t pay attention." ~ Ron Kittle
“A fool and his money are lucky enough to get together in the first place.” — Gordon Gekko (Michael Douglas) Wall Street
“We live by the Golden Rule. Those who have the gold make the rules." ~Buzzie Bavasi
"I’ve done the calculation and your chances of winning the lottery are identical whether you play or not." ~ Fran Lebowitz
“Anybody who tells you money can’t buy happiness never had any.” —Samuel L. Jackson
"Do you have any idea how cheap stocks are? Wall Street is now being called Wall Mart Street." ~ Jay Leno
“A bargain is something you can’t use at a price you can’t resist.”- Franklin Jones.
“To make a million, start with $900,000.” - Morton Shulman.
“Income tax returns are the most imaginative fiction being written today." ~ Herman Wouk
"Ah, yes, divorce… A Latin word meaning to rip out a man’s genitals through his wallet." ~ Robin Williams
“Money doesn’t solve all problems but it could solve my money problem.” – Anonymous
“I’m so naive about finances. Once my mother mentioned an amount and I realized I didn’t understand, she had to explain, ‘That’s like three Mercedes.’ Then I understood.” – Brooke Shields
“People are living longer than ever before, a phenomenon undoubtedly made necessary by the 30-year mortgage." ~Doug Larson
“When people ask me if I have any spare change, I tell them I have it at home in my spare wallet.”-Nick Arnette
"If hard work were such a wonderful thing, surely the rich would have kept it all to themselves." ~ Lane Kirkland
“I’m so poor I can’t even pay attention." ~Ron Kittle
“Money is like manure. You have to spread it around or it smells." ~J. Paul Getty
"We live by the golden rule. Those who have the gold make the rules." ~ Unknown
“The economy depends about as much on economists as the weather does on weather forecasters." ~Jean-Paul Kauffmann
"It’s easy to meet expenses, everywhere we go, there they are." ~ Anonymus
“I finally know what distinguishes man from other beasts: financial worries.” – Jules Renard
“When I was young I thought money was the most important thing in life; now that I’m old, I know it is." ~ Oscar Wilde
"They were a people so primitive they did not know how to get money, except by working for it." ~ Joseph Addison
“If inflation continues to soar, you’re going to have to work like a dog just to live like one." ~George Gobel
“Budget: a mathematical confirmation of your suspicions." ~A.A. Latimer
“The trick is to stop thinking of it as ‘your’ money.” – IRS auditor
“If you lend someone $20, and never see that person again, it was probably worth it." ~Author Unknown
“Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a refund from the IRS, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with." ~From a Washington Post word contest
“If you think money doesn’t grow on trees, you ain’t checking every limb.” – Chamillionaire
“If women didn’t exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning." ~Aristotle Onassis
“My formula for success is rise early, work late and strike oil.” JP Getty.
“Money often costs too much." ~Ralph Waldo Emerson
“No matter how hard you hug your money, it never hugs back.” — H. Jackson Brown Jr.
“If you owe the bank $100 that’s your problem. If you owe the bank $100 million, that’s the bank’s problem.” -JP Getty.
“Cocaine is God’s way of saying you’re making too much money.” – Robin Williams
“If there is anyone to whom I owe money, I’m prepared to forget it if they are.” - Errol Flynn
“If you want to know what God thinks of money, look at the people he gave it to.” —Dorothy Parker
“I am having an out of money experience." ~Author Unknown
“Someday I want to be rich. Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity. That’s how rich I want to be.” – Rita Rudner
“Money can’t buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery." ~ Spike Milligan
"I am having an out-of-money experience." ~ Anonymous