“It’s amazing how fast later comes when you buy now!” — Milton Berle
“People are living longer than ever before, a phenomenon undoubtedly made necessary by the 30-year mortgage." ~Doug Larson
“Undermine the entire economic structure of society by leaving the pay toilet door ajar so the next person can get in free.” - Taylor Meade
"If you can count your money, you don’t have a billion dollars." ~ J. Paul Getty
“I’m stuck between “I need to save money.” and “You only live once.”” – Anonymous
“Money and women are the most sought after and the least known about of any two things we have.”— Will Rogers
“What’s the use of happiness? It can’t buy you money.”- Henry Youngman
"I put a dollar in one of those changed machines. Nothing changed." ~ George Carlin
“When people ask me if I have any spare change, I tell them I have it at home in my spare wallet.”-Nick Arnette
“I made my money the old-fashioned way. I was very nice to a wealthy relative right before he died” — Malcolm Forbes
“If you owe the bank $100 that’s your problem. If you owe the bank $100 million, that’s the bank’s problem.” -JP Getty.
“If all the economists were laid end to end, they’d never reach a conclusion." ~George Bernard Shaw
“Who is rich? He that is content. Who is that? Nobody.” – Benjamin Franklin
“Money is the opposite of the weather. Nobody talks about it, but everybody does something about it.” – Rebecca Johnson
“If you pay peanuts, you get monkeys” – James Goldsmith
"Ah, yes, divorce… A Latin word meaning to rip out a man’s genitals through his wallet." ~ Robin Williams
“He who marries for love without money has good nights and sorry days.” – Anonymous
“If there is a WILL, there are 500 relatives.” – Anonymous
"Money doesn’t change you. It reveals who you are when you no longer have to be nice." ~ Tim Ferriss
“I’m so naive about finances. Once my mother mentioned an amount and I realized I didn’t understand, she had to explain, ‘That’s like three Mercedes.’ Then I understood.” – Brooke Shields
“Money isn’t everything, but it’s a long way ahead of what comes next.” - Edmund Stockdale
“You fool! You’re 30 cents away from having a quarter!” –Sweet Dick Willie (Robin Harris)Do the Right Thing
“Money can’t buy you happiness, but it can buy you a yacht big enough to pull up right alongside it." ~ David Lee Roth
“Women prefer men who have something tender about them – especially the legal kind." ~Kay Ingram
“People say money is not the key to happiness, but I have always figured if you have enough money, you can have a key made.”—Joan Rivers
“From birth to age 18, a girl needs good parents, from 18 to 35 she needs good looks, from 35 to 55 she needs a good personality, and from 55 on she needs cash.” – Sophie Tucker
“Money is something you have to make in case you don’t die.” Max Asnas.
"Men are like bank accounts. The more money, the more interest they generate." ~ Mark Twain
"Whoever said money can’t buy happiness didn’t know where to go shopping." ~ Bo Derek
“If there is anyone to whom I owe money, I’m prepared to forget it if they are.” - Errol Flynn
“It’s money. I remember it from when I was single.” – Billy Crystal
"It’s easy to meet expenses, everywhere we go, there they are." ~ Anonymus
“Business is the art of extracting money from another man’s pocket without resorting to violence." ~Max Amsterdam
“I owe much; I have nothing; the rest I leave to the poor.” - Francois Rebelais
"Do you have any idea how cheap stocks are? Wall Street is now being called Wall Mart Street." ~ Jay Leno
“Love conquers all things except poverty and toothache” – Mae West
“The safest way to double your money is to fold it over and put it in your pocket.” – Kin Hubbard
“I’m spending a year dead for tax reasons.” Douglas Adams.
“I’m so poor I can’t even pay attention." ~Ron Kittle
“If you want to know what God thinks of money, look at the people he gave it to.” —Dorothy Parker
“In this country, you gotta make the money first. Then when you get the money, you get the power. Then when you get the power, then you get the women.” –Tony Montana (Al Pacino) Scarface
“Someday I want to be rich. Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity. That’s how rich I want to be.” – Rita Rudner
"We live by the golden rule. Those who have the gold make the rules." ~ Unknown
“It’s money. I remember it from when I was single” — Billy Crystal
"Money frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy." ~ Groucho Marx
“Money’s only something you need in case you don’t die tomorrow." ~ Martin Sheen
“Misers are no fun to live with, but they make great ancestors.” —Tom Snyder
"I despise the lottery. There’s less chance of you becoming a millionaire than there is of getting hit by a passing asteroid." ~ Unknown
“The best way you hurt rich people is by turning them into poor people” – Billy Ray Valentine (Eddie Murphy) Trading Places
"Don’t stay in bed unless you make money in bed." ~ George Burns