"If hard work were such a wonderful thing, surely the rich would have kept it all to themselves." ~ Lane Kirkland
“If all the economists were laid end to end, they’d never reach a conclusion." ~George Bernard Shaw
“Before borrowing money from a friend, decide which you need most.” —Addison H. Hallock
“There are two times in a man’s life when he should not speculate: when he can’t afford it, and when he can.” – Mark Twain
“Money’s only something you need in case you don’t die tomorrow." ~ Martin Sheen
"There is a very easy way to return from a casino with a small fortune: go there with a large one." ~ Jack Yelton
“Income tax returns are the most imaginative fiction being written today." ~ Herman Wouk
“Blessed are the young, for they shall inherit the national debt." ~ Herbert Hoover
“What is the difference between a taxidermist and a tax collector? The taxidermist takes only your skin” –Mark Twain
“The poor have more children, but the rich have more relatives.” – Unknown
“Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten-dollar haircut you used to get for five dollars when you had hair." ~Sam Ewing
"Money doesn’t change you. It reveals who you are when you no longer have to be nice." ~ Tim Ferriss
“The safest way to double your money is to fold it over and put it in your pocket.” – Kin Hubbard
“I love money. I love everything about it. I bought some pretty good stuff. Got me a $300 pair of socks. Got a fur sink. An electric dog polisher. A gasoline powered turtleneck sweater. And, of course, I bought some dumb stuff, too.” – Steve Martin
“If you pay peanuts, you get monkeys” – James Goldsmith
“What’s the use of happiness? It can’t buy you money.”- Henry Youngman
“Money isn’t the most important thing in life, but it’s reasonably close to oxygen on the “gotta have it” scale." ~Zig Ziglar
“Money isn’t everything, but it’s a long way ahead of what comes next.” - Edmund Stockdale
“Money often costs too much." ~Ralph Waldo Emerson
“I’m tired of hearing about money, money, money, money, money. I just want to play the game, drink Pepsi, wear Reebok.” — Shaquille O’Neal
“Someday I want to be rich. Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity. That’s how rich I want to be.” – Rita Rudner
“Saving is a very fine thing. Especially when your parents have done it for you.” – Winston Churchill
“Misers are no fun to live with, but they make great ancestors.” —Tom Snyder
“Money can’t buy you happiness, but it can buy you a yacht big enough to pull up right alongside it." ~ David Lee Roth
“What’s your favorite childhood memory? Not paying bills.” – Anonymous
“Money is like manure. You have to spread it around or it smells." ~J. Paul Getty
“I am having an out of money experience." ~Author Unknown
“I made my money the old-fashioned way. I was very nice to a wealthy relative right before he died” — Malcolm Forbes
“When I was young I thought money was the most important thing in life; now that I’m old, I know it is." ~ Oscar Wilde
“When people ask me if I have any spare change, I tell them I have it at home in my spare wallet.”-Nick Arnette
“Love conquers all things except poverty and toothache” – Mae West
"I’ve done the calculation and your chances of winning the lottery are identical whether you play or not." ~ Fran Lebowitz
“You fool! You’re 30 cents away from having a quarter!” –Sweet Dick Willie (Robin Harris)Do the Right Thing
“Always borrow money from a pessimist, he doesn’t expect to be paid back." ~Author Unknown
“The trick is to stop thinking of it as ‘your’ money.” – IRS auditor
“If you lend someone $20, and never see that person again, it was probably worth it." ~Author Unknown
"Who is rich? He that is content. Who is that? Nobody.” ~ Benjamin Franklin
“I’m so poor I can’t even pay attention." ~Ron Kittle
“Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a refund from the IRS, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with." ~From a Washington Post word contest
“Money and women are the most sought after and the least known about of any two things we have.”— Will Rogers
“Anybody who tells you money can’t buy happiness never had any.” —Samuel L. Jackson
“The waste of money cures itself, for soon there is no more to waste." ~M.W. Harrison
“Waking your kids up for school the first day after a break is almost as much fun as birthing them was.” - Jenny McCarthy
“Carpe per diem – seize the check.” – Robin Williams.
“It’s money. I remember it from when I was single.” – Billy Crystal
“Money can’t buy you happiness but it can pay for plastic surgery." ~ Joan Rivers
“When a fellow says it ain’t the money but the principle of the thing, it’s the money.” – Artemus Ward
"Car sickness is the feeling you get when the monthly payment is due." ~Author Unknown
“A dollar picked up in the road is more satisfaction to us than the 99 which we had to work for, and the money won at Faro or in the stock market snuggles into our hearts in the same way. ~Mark Twain
“People say money is not the key to happiness, but I have always figured if you have enough money, you can have a key made.”—Joan Rivers