“I’m spending a year dead for tax reasons.” Douglas Adams.
“Money’s only something you need in case you don’t die tomorrow.” – Carl Fox (Martin Sheen)Wall Street
“The poor have more children, but the rich have more relatives.” – Unknown
"Money frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy." ~ Groucho Marx
“People say that money is not the key to happiness, but I always figured if you have enough money, you can have a key made.” ~ Joan Rivers
“If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of car payments.” – Earl Wilson
“I’m tired of hearing about money, money, money, money, money. I just want to play the game, drink Pepsi, wear Reebok.” — Shaquille O’Neal
“It doesn’t matter if you’re black or white… the only color that really matters is green.” – Family Guy
“Women prefer men who have something tender about them – especially the legal kind." ~Kay Ingram
“Budget: a mathematical confirmation of your suspicions." ~A.A. Latimer
“Someone stole all my credit cards, but I won’t be reporting it. The thief spends less than my wife did.” -Henny Youngman
“If there is anyone to whom I owe money, I’m prepared to forget it if they are.” - Errol Flynn
“If only God would give me a clear sign, like making a large deposit in my swiss bank account." ~ Woody Allen
“When I was young I thought money was the most important thing in life; now that I’m old, I know it is." ~ Oscar Wilde
"I put a dollar in one of those changed machines. Nothing changed." ~ George Carlin
“Always borrow money from a pessimist, he doesn’t expect to be paid back." ~Author Unknown
"If you can count your money, you don’t have a billion dollars." ~ J. Paul Getty
“Money isn’t everything but it sure keeps you in touch with your children." ~ J. Paul Getty
“I made my money the old-fashioned way. I was very nice to a wealthy relative right before he died” — Malcolm Forbes
“A father is someone who carries pictures in his wallet where his money used to be” — unknown
“Income tax returns are the most imaginative fiction being written today." ~ Herman Wouk
“Money isn’t everything, but it’s a long way ahead of what comes next.” - Edmund Stockdale
“All I ask is a chance to prove that money can’t make me happy." ~ Spike Milligan
“To make a million, start with $900,000.” - Morton Shulman.
“My formula for success is rise early, work late and strike oil.” JP Getty.
"Money doesn’t change you. It reveals who you are when you no longer have to be nice." ~ Tim Ferriss
“Money’s only something you need in case you don’t die tomorrow." ~ Martin Sheen
“If you think money doesn’t grow on trees, you ain’t checking every limb.” – Chamillionaire
“Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.” — Steven Wright
"There is a very easy way to return from a casino with a small fortune: go there with a large one." ~ Jack Yelton
"The safe way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it in your pocket." ~ Kin Hubbard
“Saving is a very fine thing. Especially when your parents have done it for you.” – Winston Churchill
“Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten-dollar haircut you used to get for five dollars when you had hair." ~Sam Ewing
“I want my children to have all the things I couldn’t afford. Then I want to move in with them.” —Phyllis Diller
“What is the difference between a taxidermist and a tax collector? The taxidermist takes only your skin” –Mark Twain
“Money and women are the most sought after and the least known about of any two things we have.”— Will Rogers
“Money can’t buy you happiness but it can pay for plastic surgery." ~ Joan Rivers
“They say that love is more important, but have you ever tried to pay your bills with a hug?” – Anonymous
“The best way you hurt rich people is by turning them into poor people” – Billy Ray Valentine (Eddie Murphy) Trading Places
“From birth to age 18, a girl needs good parents, from 18 to 35 she needs good looks, from 35 to 55 she needs a good personality, and from 55 on she needs cash.” – Sophie Tucker
“What’s the use of happiness? It can’t buy you money." ~ Henny Youngman
"Whoever said money can’t buy happiness didn’t know where to go shopping." ~ Bo Derek
“Blessed are the young, for they shall inherit the national debt." ~ Herbert Hoover
“Someone asked me why women don’t gamble as much as men do, and I gave the commonsensical reply that we don’t have as much money. That was a true and incomplete answer. In fact, women’s total instinct for gambling is satisfied by marriage.” – Gloria Steinem
“Carpe per diem – seize the check.” – Robin Williams.
“Money often costs too much.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson
“What’s the use of happiness? It can’t buy you money.”- Henry Youngman
"I despise the lottery. There’s less chance of you becoming a millionaire than there is of getting hit by a passing asteroid." ~ Unknown
“There were times my pants were so thin I could sit on a dime and tell if it was heads or tails.” -Spencer Tracy quotes
“The trick is to stop thinking of it as ‘your’ money.” – IRS auditor