"I put a dollar in one of those changed machines. Nothing changed." ~ George Carlin
“The best way you hurt rich people is by turning them into poor people” – Billy Ray Valentine (Eddie Murphy) Trading Places
"We live by the golden rule. Those who have the gold make the rules." ~ Unknown
“It’s money. I remember it from when I was single.” – Billy Crystal
"There is a very easy way to return from a casino with a small fortune: go there with a large one." ~ Jack Yelton
“I’m tired of hearing about money, money, money, money, money. I just want to play the game, drink Pepsi, wear Reebok.” — Shaquille O’Neal
“I just filled out my income tax forms. Who says you can’t get killed by a blank?” — Milton Berle
“All I ask is a chance to prove that money can’t make me happy." ~ Spike Milligan
"Who is rich? He that is content. Who is that? Nobody.” ~ Benjamin Franklin
“What’s your favorite childhood memory? Not paying bills.” – Anonymous
"It’s easy to meet expenses, everywhere we go, there they are." ~ Anonymus
“Always borrow money from a pessimist, he doesn’t expect to be paid back." ~Author Unknown
“Money can’t buy happiness, but it can buy beer." ~ Gary Reilly
“A father is someone who carries pictures in his wallet where his money used to be” — unknown
“You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance.” —Franklin P. Adams
“It’s amazing how fast later comes when you buy now!” — Milton Berle
“Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a refund from the IRS, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with." ~From a Washington Post word contest
"Most people work just hard enough to not get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit." ~ George Carline
“Money doesn’t solve all problems but it could solve my money problem.” – Anonymous
“He who marries for love without money has good nights and sorry days.” – Anonymous
“If women didn’t exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning." ~Aristotle Onassis
"The safe way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it in your pocket." ~ Kin Hubbard
"Too many people spend money they haven’t earned, to buy things they don’t want, to impress people they don’t like." ~ Will Smith
“Money’s only something you need in case you don’t die tomorrow." ~ Martin Sheen
“To make a million, start with $900,000.” - Morton Shulman.
“What’s the use of happiness? It can’t buy you money." ~ Henny Youngman
“The safest way to double your money is to fold it over and put it in your pocket.” – Kin Hubbard
“If there is anyone to whom I owe money, I’m prepared to forget it if they are.” - Errol Flynn
“Who is rich? He that is content. Who is that? Nobody.” – Benjamin Franklin
“What’s the use of happiness? It can’t buy you money.”- Henry Youngman
“Money isn’t everything, but it’s a long way ahead of what comes next.” - Edmund Stockdale
“Undermine the entire economic structure of society by leaving the pay toilet door ajar so the next person can get in free.” - Taylor Meade
“I rob banks because that’s where the money is.” Willie Sutton.
"Staying in bed all day is my way of saving money." ~ Anonymous
“This would be a much better world if more married couples were as deeply in love as they are in debt” – Earl Wilson
"I’ve done the calculation and your chances of winning the lottery are identical whether you play or not." ~ Fran Lebowitz
“The waste of money cures itself, for soon there is no more to waste." ~M.W. Harrison
“You should always live within your income, even if you have to borrow to do so.”- Josh Billings
“Love conquers all things except poverty and toothache” – Mae West
“If all the economists were laid end to end, they’d never reach a conclusion." ~George Bernard Shaw
“My formula for success is rise early, work late and strike oil.” JP Getty.
“When people ask me if I have any spare change, I tell them I have it at home in my spare wallet.”-Nick Arnette
“Money can’t buy happiness, but it can buy you the kind of misery you prefer." ~Author Unknown
“Money is something you have to make in case you don’t die.” Max Asnas.
“I made my money the old-fashioned way. I was very nice to a wealthy relative right before he died” — Malcolm Forbes
“No matter how hard you hug your money, it never hugs back.” — H. Jackson Brown Jr.
“Someone asked me why women don’t gamble as much as men do, and I gave the commonsensical reply that we don’t have as much money. That was a true and incomplete answer. In fact, women’s total instinct for gambling is satisfied by marriage.” – Gloria Steinem
“If you owe the bank $100 that’s your problem. If you owe the bank $100 million, that’s the bank’s problem.” -JP Getty.
“I am not worried about the deficit. It is big enough to take care of itself." ~ Ronald Reagan
“Budget: a mathematical confirmation of your suspicions." ~A.A. Latimer