"Money is like a sixth sense – and you can’t make use of the other five without it." ~ William Somerset Maugham
“Money is not the most important thing in the world. Love is. Fortunately, I love money.” – Jackie Mason
“Undermine the entire economic structure of society by leaving the pay toilet door ajar so the next person can get in free.” - Taylor Meade
“I rob banks because that’s where the money is.” Willie Sutton.
"I put a dollar in one of those changed machines. Nothing changed." ~ George Carlin
"Most people work just hard enough to not get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit." ~ George Carline
“When people ask me if I have any spare change, I tell them I have it at home in my spare wallet.”-Nick Arnette
“My formula for success is rise early, work late and strike oil.” JP Getty.
"If you can count your money, you don’t have a billion dollars." ~ J. Paul Getty
"Why is there so much month left at the end of the money?" ~ John Barrymore
"Car sickness is the feeling you get when the monthly payment is due." ~Author Unknown
"Whoever said money can’t buy happiness didn’t know where to go shopping." ~ Bo Derek
"I’ve done the calculation and your chances of winning the lottery are identical whether you play or not." ~ Fran Lebowitz
“Money is something you have to make in case you don’t die.” Max Asnas.
“I want my children to have all the things I couldn’t afford. Then I want to move in with them.” —Phyllis Diller
“Money doesn’t solve all problems but it could solve my money problem.” – Anonymous
"Men are like bank accounts. The more money, the more interest they generate." ~ Mark Twain
“What is the difference between a taxidermist and a tax collector? The taxidermist takes only your skin” –Mark Twain
“The trick is to stop thinking of it as ‘your’ money.” – IRS auditor
"Money doesn’t change you. It reveals who you are when you no longer have to be nice." ~ Tim Ferriss
“If you pay peanuts, you get monkeys” – James Goldsmith
“What’s your favorite childhood memory? Not paying bills.” – Anonymous
“Money and women are the most sought after and the least known about of any two things we have.”— Will Rogers
"Who is rich? He that is content. Who is that? Nobody.” ~ Benjamin Franklin
“If all the economists were laid end to end, they’d never reach a conclusion." ~George Bernard Shaw
“It’s money. I remember it from when I was single” — Billy Crystal
“Budget: a mathematical confirmation of your suspicions." ~A.A. Latimer
“Before borrowing money from a friend, decide which you need most.” —Addison H. Hallock
"If all the rich people in the world divided up their money among themselves, there wouldn’t be enough to go around." ~ Christina Stead
“I’m so poor I can’t even pay attention." ~Ron Kittle
“Cocaine is God’s way of saying you’re making too much money.” – Robin Williams
“Waking your kids up for school the first day after a break is almost as much fun as birthing them was.” - Jenny McCarthy
"Staying in bed all day is my way of saving money." ~ Anonymous
“Money isn’t the most important thing in life, but it’s reasonably close to oxygen on the “gotta have it” scale." ~Zig Ziglar
“The waste of money cures itself, for soon there is no more to waste." ~M.W. Harrison
“I love money. I love everything about it. I bought some pretty good stuff. Got me a $300 pair of socks. Got a fur sink. An electric dog polisher. A gasoline powered turtleneck sweater. And, of course, I bought some dumb stuff, too.” – Steve Martin
“Someone asked me why women don’t gamble as much as men do, and I gave the commonsensical reply that we don’t have as much money. That was a true and incomplete answer. In fact, women’s total instinct for gambling is satisfied by marriage.” – Gloria Steinem
“Income tax returns are the most imaginative fiction being written today." ~ Herman Wouk
“The only reason I made a commercial for American Express was to pay for my American Express bill.” Peter Ustinov.
“I made my money the old-fashioned way. I was very nice to a wealthy relative right before he died” — Malcolm Forbes
“Money is the opposite of the weather. Nobody talks about it, but everybody does something about it.” – Rebecca Johnson
“No matter how hard you hug your money, it never hugs back.” — H. Jackson Brown Jr.
“Misers are no fun to live with, but they make great ancestors.” —Tom Snyder
"Money frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy." ~ Groucho Marx
“He who marries for love without money has good nights and sorry days.” – Anonymous
“It doesn’t matter how low the dollar will go, I will always bend down and pick it up.” ~ Anonymous
“There are two times in a man’s life when he should not speculate: when he can’t afford it, and when he can.” – Mark Twain
“I owe much; I have nothing; the rest I leave to the poor.” - Francois Rebelais
“I’m tired of hearing about money, money, money, money, money. I just want to play the game, drink Pepsi, wear Reebok.” — Shaquille O’Neal
“You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance.” —Franklin P. Adams