“People say money is not the key to happiness, but I have always figured if you have enough money, you can have a key made.”—Joan Rivers
“Money can’t buy you happiness, but it can buy you a yacht big enough to pull up right alongside it." ~ David Lee Roth
“What’s worth doing is worth doing for money.” –Gordon Gekko (Michael Douglas) Wall Street
“Money can’t buy happiness, but it can buy beer." ~ Gary Reilly
“He who marries for love without money has good nights and sorry days.” – Anonymous
“In this country, you gotta make the money first. Then when you get the money, you get the power. Then when you get the power, then you get the women.” –Tony Montana (Al Pacino) Scarface
“Someone stole all my credit cards, but I won’t be reporting it. The thief spends less than my wife did.” -Henny Youngman
“When I was young I thought money was the most important thing in life; now that I’m old, I know it is." ~ Oscar Wilde
“If only God would give me a clear sign, like making a large deposit in my swiss bank account." ~ Woody Allen
“The safest way to double your money is to fold it over and put it in your pocket.” – Kin Hubbard
“Money can’t buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery." ~ Spike Milligan
"We live by the golden rule. Those who have the gold make the rules." ~ Unknown
“Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten-dollar haircut you used to get for five dollars when you had hair." ~Sam Ewing
“Budget: a mathematical confirmation of your suspicions." ~A.A. Latimer
“You fool! You’re 30 cents away from having a quarter!” –Sweet Dick Willie (Robin Harris)Do the Right Thing
“If there is a WILL, there are 500 relatives.” – Anonymous
“A fool and his money are lucky enough to get together in the first place.” — Gordon Gekko (Michael Douglas) Wall Street
"Staying in bed all day is my way of saving money." ~ Anonymous
“We live by the Golden Rule. Those who have the gold make the rules." ~Buzzie Bavasi
"Men are like bank accounts. The more money, the more interest they generate." ~ Mark Twain
“If you want to know what God thinks of money, look at the people he gave it to.” —Dorothy Parker
“Money’s only something you need in case you don’t die tomorrow." ~ Martin Sheen
“It’s money. I remember it from when I was single.” – Billy Crystal
"I am having an out-of-money experience." ~ Anonymous
"Car sickness is the feeling you get when the monthly payment is due." ~Author Unknown
“What’s the use of happiness? It can’t buy you money." ~ Henny Youngman
“If women didn’t exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning." ~Aristotle Onassis
"Money doesn’t change you. It reveals who you are when you no longer have to be nice." ~ Tim Ferriss
“I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy something.” -Jackie Mason“I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy something.” -Jackie Mason
“Money is like manure. You have to spread it around or it smells." ~J. Paul Getty
“A bargain is something you can’t use at a price you can’t resist.”- Franklin Jones.
“Money doesn’t solve all problems but it could solve my money problem.” – Anonymous
"Money is like a sixth sense – and you can’t make use of the other five without it." ~ William Somerset Maugham
“The only reason I made a commercial for American Express was to pay for my American Express bill.” Peter Ustinov.
“I want my children to have all the things I couldn’t afford. Then I want to move in with them.” —Phyllis Diller
"There is a very easy way to return from a casino with a small fortune: go there with a large one." ~ Jack Yelton
“If there is anyone to whom I owe money, I’m prepared to forget it if they are.” - Errol Flynn
“The economy depends about as much on economists as the weather does on weather forecasters." ~Jean-Paul Kauffmann
“This would be a much better world if more married couples were as deeply in love as they are in debt” – Earl Wilson
"Too many people spend money they haven’t earned, to buy things they don’t want, to impress people they don’t like." ~ Will Smith
"The safe way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it in your pocket." ~ Kin Hubbard
“Saving is a very fine thing. Especially when your parents have done it for you.” – Winston Churchill
“If inflation continues to soar, you’re going to have to work like a dog just to live like one." ~George Gobel
“All I ask is the chance to prove that money can’t make me happy.” Spike Milligan.
"If all the rich people in the world divided up their money among themselves, there wouldn’t be enough to go around." ~ Christina Stead
"It’s easy to meet expenses, everywhere we go, there they are." ~ Anonymus
"If hard work were such a wonderful thing, surely the rich would have kept it all to themselves." ~ Lane Kirkland
"Money frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy." ~ Groucho Marx
“There’s a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It’s called marriage” — James Holt McGavran
“Misers are no fun to live with, but they make great ancestors.” —Tom Snyder