“All I ask is the chance to prove that money can’t make me happy.” Spike Milligan.
“I rob banks because that’s where the money is.” Willie Sutton.
“It’s money. I remember it from when I was single.” – Billy Crystal
“Anybody who tells you money can’t buy happiness never had any.” —Samuel L. Jackson
“There are two times in a man’s life when he should not speculate: when he can’t afford it, and when he can.” – Mark Twain
“Money can’t buy you happiness but it can pay for plastic surgery." ~ Joan Rivers
“Money can’t buy happiness, but it can buy you the kind of misery you prefer." ~Author Unknown
“Money can’t buy you happiness, but it can buy you a yacht big enough to pull up right alongside it." ~ David Lee Roth
“Saving is a very fine thing. Especially when your parents have done it for you.” – Winston Churchill
“Money isn’t everything but it sure keeps you in touch with your children." ~ J. Paul Getty
“A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don’t need it.” – Bob Hope
“My formula for success is rise early, work late and strike oil.” JP Getty.
“October: This is one of the particularly dangerous months to invest in stocks. Other dangerous months are July, January, September, April, November, May, March, June, December, August and February.” Mark Twain
“Someone stole all my credit cards, but I won’t be reporting it. The thief spends less than my wife did.” -Henny Youngman
“Money is not the most important thing in the world. Love is. Fortunately, I love money.” – Jackie Mason
“It’s amazing how fast later comes when you buy now!” — Milton Berle
“I love money. I love everything about it. I bought some pretty good stuff. Got me a $300 pair of socks. Got a fur sink. An electric dog polisher. A gasoline powered turtleneck sweater. And, of course, I bought some dumb stuff, too.” – Steve Martin
"Whoever said money can’t buy happiness didn’t know where to go shopping." ~ Bo Derek
"There is a very easy way to return from a casino with a small fortune: go there with a large one." ~ Jack Yelton
“People say money is not the key to happiness, but I have always figured if you have enough money, you can have a key made.”—Joan Rivers
“I finally know what distinguishes man from other beasts: financial worries.” – Jules Renard
“When a fellow says it ain’t the money but the principle of the thing, it’s the money.” – Artemus Ward
“When people ask me if I have any spare change, I tell them I have it at home in my spare wallet.”-Nick Arnette
“A fool and his money are lucky enough to get together in the first place.” — Gordon Gekko (Michael Douglas) Wall Street
"They were a people so primitive they did not know how to get money, except by working for it." ~ Joseph Addison
“The poor have more children, but the rich have more relatives.” – Unknown
“I am having an out of money experience." ~Author Unknown
“You fool! You’re 30 cents away from having a quarter!” –Sweet Dick Willie (Robin Harris)Do the Right Thing
“There’s a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It’s called marriage” — James Holt McGavran
“Waking your kids up for school the first day after a break is almost as much fun as birthing them was.” - Jenny McCarthy
“Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten-dollar haircut you used to get for five dollars when you had hair." ~Sam Ewing
“Money’s only something you need in case you don’t die tomorrow.” – Carl Fox (Martin Sheen)Wall Street
“I’m so naive about finances. Once my mother mentioned an amount and I realized I didn’t understand, she had to explain, ‘That’s like three Mercedes.’ Then I understood.” – Brooke Shields
"I’ve done the calculation and your chances of winning the lottery are identical whether you play or not." ~ Fran Lebowitz
“To make a million, start with $900,000.” - Morton Shulman.
“The economy depends about as much on economists as the weather does on weather forecasters." ~Jean-Paul Kauffmann
"Ah, yes, divorce… A Latin word meaning to rip out a man’s genitals through his wallet." ~ Robin Williams
“Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I’m not there, I go to work.” – Robert Orben
“It’s money. I remember it from when I was single” — Billy Crystal
“The safest way to double your money is to fold it over and put it in your pocket.” – Kin Hubbard
“What’s your favorite childhood memory? Not paying bills.” – Anonymous
“I’m so poor I can’t even pay attention." ~Ron Kittle
“Money is like manure. You have to spread it around or it smells." ~J. Paul Getty
“The only reason I made a commercial for American Express was to pay for my American Express bill.” Peter Ustinov.
“Money is something you have to make in case you don’t die.” Max Asnas.
“I’m tired of hearing about money, money, money, money, money. I just want to play the game, drink Pepsi, wear Reebok.” — Shaquille O’Neal
“People say that money is not the key to happiness, but I always figured if you have enough money, you can have a key made.” ~ Joan Rivers
“Women prefer men who have something tender about them – especially the legal kind." ~Kay Ingram
“Always borrow money from a pessimist, he doesn’t expect to be paid back." ~Author Unknown
“I’m spending a year dead for tax reasons.” Douglas Adams.