"If hard work were such a wonderful thing, surely the rich would have kept it all to themselves." ~ Lane Kirkland
“Someday I want to be rich. Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity. That’s how rich I want to be.” – Rita Rudner
“People say money is not the key to happiness, but I have always figured if you have enough money, you can have a key made.”—Joan Rivers
“To make a million, start with $900,000.” - Morton Shulman.
“What is the difference between a taxidermist and a tax collector? The taxidermist takes only your skin” –Mark Twain
“Money and women. They’re two of the strongest things in the world. The things you do for a woman you wouldn’t do for anything else. Same with money.” — Satchel Paige
“Saving is a very fine thing. Especially when your parents have done it for you.” – Winston Churchill
"Men are like bank accounts. The more money, the more interest they generate." ~ Mark Twain
“Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.” — Steven Wright
“From birth to age 18, a girl needs good parents, from 18 to 35 she needs good looks, from 35 to 55 she needs a good personality, and from 55 on she needs cash.” – Sophie Tucker
“Money isn’t the most important thing in life, but it’s reasonably close to oxygen on the “gotta have it” scale." ~Zig Ziglar
“Money often costs too much." ~Ralph Waldo Emerson
“Budget: a mathematical confirmation of your suspicions." ~A.A. Latimer
“Money is something you have to make in case you don’t die.” Max Asnas.
"If you can count your money, you don’t have a billion dollars." ~ J. Paul Getty
“If inflation continues to soar, you’re going to have to work like a dog just to live like one." ~George Gobel
“Someone stole all my credit cards, but I won’t be reporting it. The thief spends less than my wife did.” -Henny Youngman
"Do you have any idea how cheap stocks are? Wall Street is now being called Wall Mart Street." ~ Jay Leno
"It’s easy to meet expenses, everywhere we go, there they are." ~ Anonymus
“It doesn’t matter if you’re black or white… the only color that really matters is green.” – Family Guy
“What’s your favorite childhood memory? Not paying bills.” – Anonymous
“When I was young I thought money was the most important thing in life; now that I’m old, I know it is." ~ Oscar Wilde
“Undermine the entire economic structure of society by leaving the pay toilet door ajar so the next person can get in free.” - Taylor Meade
“I finally know what distinguishes man from other beasts: financial worries.” – Jules Renard
“Money’s only something you need in case you don’t die tomorrow." ~ Martin Sheen
"Money is like a sixth sense – and you can’t make use of the other five without it." ~ William Somerset Maugham
“When people ask me if I have any spare change, I tell them I have it at home in my spare wallet.”-Nick Arnette
"Dogs have no money. Isn’t that amazing? They’re broke their entire lives. But they get through. Do you know why dogs have no money? .. No Pockets." ~ Jerry Seinfeld
“If you want to know what God thinks of money, look at the people he gave it to.” —Dorothy Parker
“It doesn’t matter how low the dollar will go, I will always bend down and pick it up.” ~ Anonymous
"Car sickness is the feeling you get when the monthly payment is due." ~Author Unknown
“It’s amazing how fast later comes when you buy now!” — Milton Berle
“There’s a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It’s called marriage” — James Holt McGavran
“All I ask is the chance to prove that money can’t make me happy.” Spike Milligan.
“A fool and his money are lucky enough to get together in the first place.” — Gordon Gekko (Michael Douglas) Wall Street
“Economists report that a college education adds many thousands of dollars to a man’s lifetime income – which he then spends sending his son to college.” — Bill Vaughn
“Always borrow money from a pessimist, he doesn’t expect to be paid back." ~Author Unknown
“Money is not the most important thing in the world. Love is. Fortunately, I love money.” – Jackie Mason
“My formula for success is rise early, work late and strike oil.” JP Getty.
“Carpe per diem – seize the check.” – Robin Williams.
“The waste of money cures itself, for soon there is no more to waste." ~M.W. Harrison
“A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don’t need it.” – Bob Hope
“They were a people so primitive they did not know how to get money, except by working for it.” Joseph Addison.
“Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I’m not there, I go to work.” – Robert Orben
“Money isn’t everything but it sure keeps you in touch with your children." ~ J. Paul Getty
“If there is anyone to whom I owe money, I’m prepared to forget it if they are.” - Errol Flynn
“I am having an out of money experience." ~Author Unknown
“You should always live within your income, even if you have to borrow to do so.”- Josh Billings
“The economy depends about as much on economists as the weather does on weather forecasters." ~Jean-Paul Kauffmann
“Blessed are the young, for they shall inherit the national debt." ~ Herbert Hoover