“If women didn’t exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning." ~Aristotle Onassis
“I’m tired of hearing about money, money, money, money, money. I just want to play the game, drink Pepsi, wear Reebok.” — Shaquille O’Neal
“Women prefer men who have something tender about them – especially the legal kind." ~Kay Ingram
“The only reason I made a commercial for American Express was to pay for my American Express bill.” Peter Ustinov.
“If you lend someone $20, and never see that person again, it was probably worth it." ~Author Unknown
“All I ask is a chance to prove that money can’t make me happy." ~ Spike Milligan
“The economy depends about as much on economists as the weather does on weather forecasters." ~Jean-Paul Kauffmann
“Money is like manure. You have to spread it around or it smells." ~J. Paul Getty
“What’s the use of happiness? It can’t buy you money." ~ Henny Youngman
“You should always live within your income, even if you have to borrow to do so.”- Josh Billings
“I rob banks because that’s where the money is.” Willie Sutton.
“Money can’t buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery." ~ Spike Milligan
“I’m stuck between “I need to save money.” and “You only live once.”” – Anonymous
“The poor have more children, but the rich have more relatives.” – Unknown
“Money and women. They’re two of the strongest things in the world. The things you do for a woman you wouldn’t do for anything else. Same with money.” — Satchel Paige
“Money is something you have to make in case you don’t die.” Max Asnas.
"Men are like bank accounts. The more money, the more interest they generate." ~ Mark Twain
“Always borrow money from a pessimist, he doesn’t expect to be paid back." ~Author Unknown
“Money can’t buy you happiness but it can pay for plastic surgery." ~ Joan Rivers
“Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten-dollar haircut you used to get for five dollars when you had hair." ~Sam Ewing
“People say money is not the key to happiness, but I have always figured if you have enough money, you can have a key made.”—Joan Rivers
“Money’s only something you need in case you don’t die tomorrow.” – Carl Fox (Martin Sheen)Wall Street
"Money without brains is always dangerous." ~ Napoleon Hill
"Too many people spend money they haven’t earned, to buy things they don’t want, to impress people they don’t like." ~ Will Smith
“I just filled out my income tax forms. Who says you can’t get killed by a blank?” — Milton Berle
“I want my children to have all the things I couldn’t afford. Then I want to move in with them.” —Phyllis Diller
“Money can’t buy happiness, but it can buy you the kind of misery you prefer." ~Author Unknown
“If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of car payments.” – Earl Wilson
“What’s the use of happiness? It can’t buy you money.”- Henry Youngman
“Money is not the most important thing in the world. Love is. Fortunately, I love money.” – Jackie Mason
"Car sickness is the feeling you get when the monthly payment is due." ~Author Unknown
“Money often costs too much.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson
“If there is a WILL, there are 500 relatives.” – Anonymous
“Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I’m not there, I go to work.” – Robert Orben
“If you want to know what God thinks of money, look at the people he gave it to.” —Dorothy Parker
“Blessed are the young, for they shall inherit the national debt." ~ Herbert Hoover
"If hard work were such a wonderful thing, surely the rich would have kept it all to themselves." ~ Lane Kirkland
“If you owe the bank $100 that’s your problem. If you owe the bank $100 million, that’s the bank’s problem.” -JP Getty.
“A fool and his money are lucky enough to get together in the first place.” — Gordon Gekko (Michael Douglas) Wall Street
“Carpe per diem – seize the check.” – Robin Williams.
“A father is someone who carries pictures in his wallet where his money used to be” — unknown
“Saving is a very fine thing. Especially when your parents have done it for you.” – Winston Churchill
"Most people work just hard enough to not get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit." ~ George Carline
“You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance.” —Franklin P. Adams
"Staying in bed all day is my way of saving money." ~ Anonymous
"Don’t stay in bed unless you make money in bed." ~ George Burns
“Money can’t buy happiness, but it can buy beer." ~ Gary Reilly
“I am having an out of money experience." ~Author Unknown
"Do you have any idea how cheap stocks are? Wall Street is now being called Wall Mart Street." ~ Jay Leno
“Money isn’t everything but it sure keeps you in touch with your children." ~ J. Paul Getty