“Money can’t buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery." ~ Spike Milligan
“They say that love is more important, but have you ever tried to pay your bills with a hug?” – Anonymous
“Money and women. They’re two of the strongest things in the world. The things you do for a woman you wouldn’t do for anything else. Same with money.” — Satchel Paige
“If you pay peanuts, you get monkeys” – James Goldsmith
"We live by the golden rule. Those who have the gold make the rules." ~ Unknown
"Who is rich? He that is content. Who is that? Nobody.” ~ Benjamin Franklin
“Money isn’t everything, but it’s a long way ahead of what comes next.” - Edmund Stockdale
“Blessed are the young, for they shall inherit the national debt." ~ Herbert Hoover
"If all the rich people in the world divided up their money among themselves, there wouldn’t be enough to go around." ~ Christina Stead
"Men are like bank accounts. The more money, the more interest they generate." ~ Mark Twain
“What is the difference between a taxidermist and a tax collector? The taxidermist takes only your skin” –Mark Twain
"Do you have any idea how cheap stocks are? Wall Street is now being called Wall Mart Street." ~ Jay Leno
“You should always live within your income, even if you have to borrow to do so.”- Josh Billings
“It doesn’t matter if you’re black or white… the only color that really matters is green.” – Family Guy
"Money frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy." ~ Groucho Marx
“Economists report that a college education adds many thousands of dollars to a man’s lifetime income – which he then spends sending his son to college.” — Bill Vaughn
“If inflation continues to soar, you’re going to have to work like a dog just to live like one." ~George Gobel
"Most people work just hard enough to not get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit." ~ George Carline
"It’s easy to meet expenses, everywhere we go, there they are." ~ Anonymus
“This would be a much better world if more married couples were as deeply in love as they are in debt” – Earl Wilson
“Money doesn’t solve all problems but it could solve my money problem.” – Anonymous
"Too many people spend money they haven’t earned, to buy things they don’t want, to impress people they don’t like." ~ Will Smith
“What’s worth doing is worth doing for money.” –Gordon Gekko (Michael Douglas) Wall Street
“We live by the Golden Rule. Those who have the gold make the rules." ~Buzzie Bavasi
"If hard work were such a wonderful thing, surely the rich would have kept it all to themselves." ~ Lane Kirkland
“I just filled out my income tax forms. Who says you can’t get killed by a blank?” — Milton Berle
"I am having an out-of-money experience." ~ Anonymous
“There were times my pants were so thin I could sit on a dime and tell if it was heads or tails.” -Spencer Tracy quotes
“Business is the art of extracting money from another man’s pocket without resorting to violence." ~Max Amsterdam
“You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance.” —Franklin P. Adams
“All I ask is the chance to prove that money can’t make me happy.” Spike Milligan.
“I rob banks because that’s where the money is.” Willie Sutton.
“It’s money. I remember it from when I was single.” – Billy Crystal
“Anybody who tells you money can’t buy happiness never had any.” —Samuel L. Jackson
“There are two times in a man’s life when he should not speculate: when he can’t afford it, and when he can.” – Mark Twain
“Money can’t buy you happiness but it can pay for plastic surgery." ~ Joan Rivers
“Money can’t buy happiness, but it can buy you the kind of misery you prefer." ~Author Unknown
“Money can’t buy you happiness, but it can buy you a yacht big enough to pull up right alongside it." ~ David Lee Roth
“Saving is a very fine thing. Especially when your parents have done it for you.” – Winston Churchill
“Money isn’t everything but it sure keeps you in touch with your children." ~ J. Paul Getty
“A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don’t need it.” – Bob Hope
“My formula for success is rise early, work late and strike oil.” JP Getty.
“October: This is one of the particularly dangerous months to invest in stocks. Other dangerous months are July, January, September, April, November, May, March, June, December, August and February.” Mark Twain
“Someone stole all my credit cards, but I won’t be reporting it. The thief spends less than my wife did.” -Henny Youngman
“Money is not the most important thing in the world. Love is. Fortunately, I love money.” – Jackie Mason
“It’s amazing how fast later comes when you buy now!” — Milton Berle
“I love money. I love everything about it. I bought some pretty good stuff. Got me a $300 pair of socks. Got a fur sink. An electric dog polisher. A gasoline powered turtleneck sweater. And, of course, I bought some dumb stuff, too.” – Steve Martin
"Whoever said money can’t buy happiness didn’t know where to go shopping." ~ Bo Derek
"There is a very easy way to return from a casino with a small fortune: go there with a large one." ~ Jack Yelton
“People say money is not the key to happiness, but I have always figured if you have enough money, you can have a key made.”—Joan Rivers