“I tried every diet that was in the book, I tried some that weren’t in the book. I tried eating the book. It tasted better than most of the diets.”
Dolly Parton
“Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.” —Redd Fox
"Eating words has never given me indigestion." —Winston Churchill
"Quit worrying about your health. It'll go away." —Robert Orben
"Let's have a moment of silence for all those Americans who are stuck in traffic on their way to the gym to ride the stationary bicycle."
- Earl Blumenauer.
“Half the modern could drugs well be thrown out the window, except that the birds might eat them.”
Unknown
"It's no longer a question of staying healthy. It's a question of finding a sickness you like." —Jackie Mason
"A hospital is no place to be sick." —Samuel Goldwyn
"Red meat is not bad for you. Now blue-green meat, that's bad for you!" - Tommy Smothers
"Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do practice?" —George Carlin
"Health is merely the slowest way someone can die."
“I have to excercise in the morning before my brain figures out what I'm doing."- Marsha Doble.
“Fond of doctors, little health, Fond of lawyers, little wealth.”
Proverb
"Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self esteem, first make sure that you are not, in fact, just surrounding yourself with ass****s." - William Gibson
“Excercise? I thought you said extra fries.”
"I will never break up with my gym. We just seem to workout."
- Unknown.
"Some people would fall in or out of love with you if you lose or gain a few kilos."
- Mokokoma Mokhonoana
"I quit therapy because my analyst was trying to help me behind my back." - Richard Lewis
"We pay our gym membership for the permission to exercise in the gym, not for the owner(s) of the gym to exercise for us."
- Mokokoma Mokhonoana.
“I am convinced digestion is the great secret to life.”
Sydney Smith
"When future archaeologists dig up the remains of California, they're going to find all of those gyms, their scary-looking gym equipment, and they're going to assume that we were a culture obsessed with torture."
- Douglas Coupland
“Anywhere is walking distance if you have got the time.”
Steven Wright
"Anyone who goes to a psychiatrist should have his head examined." - Samuel Goldwyn
“The only exercise I’ve done this month is running out of money"
"Every time I hear the dirty word 'exercise' I wash my mouth out with chocolate!"
- Unknown.
“Sometimes I get the feeling the aspirin companies are sponsoring my headaches.”
Unknown
“The trouble with jogging is that by the time you realize you are not in shape for it, its too far to walk back.”
Andy Rooney
“It’s a bit unnerving That doctors call what they do practice.”
Unknown
"How sickness enlarges the dimension of a man's self to himself!"- Charles Lamb
"To lose weight, spend time at the gym. To appear like you've lost weight, spend time with people who are bigger than you."
- Mokokoma Mokhonoana
"If your doctor's last name is Google, it's time to get a second opinion…" - Toni Bernhard, J.D.
"Food is an important part of a balanced diet." —Fran Lebowitz
"My doctor recently told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already." —Milton Berle
"Half the modern drugs could well be thrown out the window, except that the birds might eat them." - Martin H. Fischer
"My own prescription for health is less paperwork and more running barefoot through the grass." - Leslie Grimutter
"Men scream and go crazy in the gym. I'm a silent workout partner, but when my adrenaline gets up, I talk trash."
- Fergie
"I became insane with long intervals of horrible sanity." - Edgar Allen Poe
"If you want to know the correct way to perform an exercise, the answer is: Whatever hurts most."
- Jason Love.
"I like nonsense, it wakes up the brain cells. Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living. It's a way of looking at life through the wrong end of a telescope. Which is what I do, and that enables you to laugh at life's realities." - Dr. Seuss
"Older people shouldn't eat health food. They need all the preservatives they can get." —Robert Orben
"I have to exercise in the morning before my brain figures out what I'm doing."
- Marsha Doble
"Avoid any diet that discourages the use of hot fudge"- Don Kardong
"The best abs exercise is five sets of stop eating so much..."
– Lazar Angelov
"I don't exercise. If God had wanted me to bend over, He would have put diamonds on the floor"- Joan Rivers
"Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing." —Redd Foxx
"When I feel like exercising I just lie down until the feeling goes away."
- Robert M. Hutchins.
"Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died." —Erma Bombeck
"A bad cold wouldn't be so annoying if it weren't for the advice of our friends." - Kin Hubbard
"I like long walks, especially when they're taken by people who annoy me"- Fred Allen.
"Happiness is nothing more than good health and a bad memory"- Albert Schweitzer