"I am dying with the help of too many physicians." — Unknown
"I am dying with the help of too many physicians." —Alexander the Great
"If I knew I was going to live this long, I'd have taken better care of myself." —Mickey Mantle
"I like nonsense, it wakes up the brain cells. Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living. It's a way of looking at life through the wrong end of a telescope. Which is what I do, and that enables you to laugh at life's realities." - Dr. Seuss
"Reality is the leading cause of stress among those in touch with it." —Lily Tomlin
"I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol."- Steven Write
"When future archaeologists dig up the remains of California, they're going to find all of those gyms, their scary-looking gym equipment, and they're going to assume that we were a culture obsessed with torture."
- Douglas Coupland
"Quit worrying about your health. It'll go away." —Robert Orben
“Eating words has never given me indigestion.”
Unknown
“It’s a bit unnerving That doctors call what they do practice.”
Unknown
"I have to exercise in the morning before my brain figures out what I'm doing."
- Marsha Doble
"I believe every human has a finite number of heartbeats. I don't intend to waste any of mine running around doing exercises."
- Neil Armstrong.
"Reality is the leading cause of stress among those in touch with it." —Lily Toml
"Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died." —Erma Bombeck
"I never worry about diets. The only carrots that interest me are the number ou get in a diamond"- Mae West
"I only workout, because I really really like donuts."
- Unknown
“I never worry about diets. The only carrots that interest me are the number you get in a diamond.”- Erik Satie
“Excercise? I thought you said extra fries.”
“The only exercise I’ve done this month is running out of money"
"Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self esteem, first make sure that you are not, in fact, just surrounding yourself with ass****s." - William Gibson
"If your doctor's last name is Google, it's time to get a second opinion…" - Toni Bernhard, J.D.
"Take the admission to the gym to avoid the admission to the hospital."
- Amit Kalantri
“I tried every diet that was in the book, I tried some that weren’t in the book. I tried eating the book. It tasted better than most of the diets.”
Dolly Parton
“I am convinced digestion is the great secret to life.”
Sydney Smith
"The trouble with always trying to preserve the health of the body is that it is so difficult to do without destroying the health of the mind." - G.K. Chesterton
"If it weren't for the fact that the TV set and the refrigeratir are so far apart, some of us wouldn't get any exercise at all"- Joey Adams
"When I feel like exercising I just lie down until the feeling goes away."
- Robert M. Hutchins.
“Anywhere is walking distance if you have got the time.”
Steven Wright
"The trouble with jogging is that by the time you realize you're not in shape for it, it's too far to walk back"- Franklin P. Jones
"Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do practice?" —George Carlin
"My doctor recently told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already." —Milton Berle
“I have to excercise in the morning before my brain figures out what I'm doing."- Marsha Doble.
"Eating words has never given me indigestion." —Winston Churchill
“Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.” —Redd Fox
"Many so-called spiritual people, they overeat, drink too much, they smoke and don't exercise. But they do go to church every week and pray 'Please help my arthritis. Please help me bring up my strength, make me young again.'"
- Jack LaLanne
"Health is merely the slowest way someone can die."
"If you're using two-pound weights, how did you even open the door to the gym?"
- Dave Attell
"You ever look for the remote control, but you can't find it, so you just decide, 'Ah, guess I'm not watching TV. I'm not gonna take two steps and turn it on myself. I'll go to the gym if I'm going to work out.'"
- Jim Gaffigan.
"The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd druther not." - Mark Twain
"How sickness enlarges the dimension of a man's self to himself!"- Charles Lamb
"Quit worrying about your health. It'll go away." —Robert Orben
"I became insane with long intervals of horrible sanity." - Edgar Allen Poe
"It's no longer a question of staying healthy. It's a question of finding a sickness you like." —Jackie Mason
"There's lots of people in this world who spend so much time watching their health that they haven't the time to enjoy it." - Josh Billings
"Doctors are always working to preserve our health and cooks to destroy it, but the latter are the more often successful." - Denis Diderot
"Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing." —Redd Foxx
"Half the modern drugs could well be thrown out the window, except that the birds might eat them." - Martin H. Fischer
"My own prescription for health is less paperwork and more running barefoot through the grass." - Leslie Grimutter
"To cease smoking is the easiest thing I ever did. I ought to know because I've done it a thousand times." —Mark Twain
"Men scream and go crazy in the gym. I'm a silent workout partner, but when my adrenaline gets up, I talk trash."
- Fergie