“Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.” —Redd Fox
"The trouble with always trying to preserve the health of the body is that it is so difficult to do without destroying the health of the mind." - G.K. Chesterton
"It's no longer a question of staying healthy. It's a question of finding a sickness you like." —Jackie Mason
"If the poor overweight jogger only knew how far he had to run to work off the calories in a crust of bread he might find it better in terms of pound per mile to go to a massage parlor."
- Christiaan Barnard
"We pay our gym membership for the permission to exercise in the gym, not for the owner(s) of the gym to exercise for us."
- Mokokoma Mokhonoana.
“The only exercise I’ve done this month is running out of money"
“I tried every diet that was in the book, I tried some that weren’t in the book. I tried eating the book. It tasted better than most of the diets.”
Dolly Parton
"Let's have a moment of silence for all those Americans who are stuck in traffic on their way to the gym to ride the stationary bicycle."
- Earl Blumenauer.
"Older people shouldn't eat health food. They need all the preservatives they can get." —Robert Orben
"Food is an important part of a balanced diet." —Fran Lebowitz
"There's lots of people in this world who spend so much time watching their health that they haven't the time to enjoy it." - Josh Billings
"Anyone who goes to a psychiatrist should have his head examined." - Samuel Goldwyn
"Every time I hear the dirty word 'exercise' I wash my mouth out with chocolate!"
- Unknown.
"Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night." —Dave Barry
“I like long walks especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.”
Fred Allen
"Reality is the leading cause of stress among those in touch with it." —Lily Tomlin
"The trouble with jogging is that by the time you realize you're not in shape for it, it's too far to walk back"- Franklin P. Jones
"The best abs exercise is five sets of stop eating so much..."
– Lazar Angelov
"Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died." —Erma Bombeck
“Fond of doctors, little health, Fond of lawyers, little wealth.”
Proverb
"The word aerobics came about when the gym instructors got together and said, 'If we're going to charge $10 an hour, we can't call it jumping up and down'" - Rita Rudner
"I like nonsense, it wakes up the brain cells. Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living. It's a way of looking at life through the wrong end of a telescope. Which is what I do, and that enables you to laugh at life's realities." - Dr. Seuss
“Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.” —Mark Twain
"I don't get why people pay to exercise in a gym when it's free to not exercise."
- Bridger Winegar