"You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to live to be a hundred." —Woody Allen
"Older people shouldn't eat health food. They need all the preservatives they can get." —Robert Orben
"Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing." —Redd Foxx
"I consider my refusal to go to the gym today as resistance training ."
- Immortal Souls.
“Anywhere is walking distance if you have got the time.”
Steven Wright
"Fitness: If it came in a bottle, everyone would have a great body."
- Cher.
"My idea of exercise is a good brisk sit."
- Phyllis Dille
"I never worry about diets. The only carrots that interest me are the number ou get in a diamond"- Mae West
"I don't exercise. If God had wanted me to bend over, He would have put diamonds on the floor"- Joan Rivers
"Many so-called spiritual people, they overeat, drink too much, they smoke and don't exercise. But they do go to church every week and pray 'Please help my arthritis. Please help me bring up my strength, make me young again.'"
- Jack LaLanne
"I refuse to spend my life worrying about what I eat. There is no pleasure worth forgoing just for an extra three years in the geriatric ward." - John Mortimer
"Health is merely the slowest way someone can die."
“Fond of doctors, little health, Fond of lawyers, little wealth.”
Proverb
“I never worry about diets. The only carrots that interest me are the number you get in a diamond.”- Erik Satie
"The trouble with jogging is that by the time you realize you're not in shape for it, it's too far to walk back"- Franklin P. Jones
"It's no longer a question of staying healthy. It's a question of finding a sickness you like." —Jackie Mason
"Never eat more than you can lift"- Miss Piggy.
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"I tried every diet in the book. I tried some that weren't in the book. I tried eating the book. It tasted better than most of the diets."- Dolly Parton
"Sometimes I get the feeling the aspirin companies are sponsoring my headaches." - V.L. Allineare
"Anyone who goes to a psychiatrist should have his head examined." - Samuel Goldwyn
"I can sympathize with people's pains but not with their pleasures. There is something curiously boring about somebody else's happiness." - Aldous Huxley
"Take the admission to the gym to avoid the admission to the hospital."
- Amit Kalantri
"If it weren't for the fact that the TV set and the refrigeratir are so far apart, some of us wouldn't get any exercise at all"- Joey Adams
"There's lots of people in this world who spend so much time watching their health that they haven't the time to enjoy it." - Josh Billings
“Half the modern could drugs well be thrown out the window, except that the birds might eat them.”
Unknown