"Health is merely the slowest way someone can die."
"I quit therapy because my analyst was trying to help me behind my back." - Richard Lewis
"My idea of exercise is a good brisk sit."
- Phyllis Dille
"I believe every human has a finite number of heartbeats. I don't intend to waste any of mine running around doing exercises."
- Neil Armstrong.
“The trouble with jogging is that by the time you realize you are not in shape for it, its too far to walk back.”
Andy Rooney
"Quit worrying about your health. It'll go away." —Robert Orben
"I enjoy a glass of wine each night for its health benefits. he other two are for my witty comebacks and flawless dance moves"
"Life expectancy would grow by leaps and bounds if green vegetables smelled as good as bacon." - Doug Larson
"When I feel like exercising I just lie down until the feeling goes away."
- Robert M. Hutchins.
"I've always enjoyed poor health." —Taylor Caldwell
“It’s a bit unnerving That doctors call what they do practice.”
Unknown
“I don’t deserve a Songwriters Hall of Fame Award. But fifteen years ago, I had a brain operation and I didn’t deserve that, either. So I’ll keep it.”
Don Kardong.
"A bad cold wouldn't be so annoying if it weren't for the advice of our friends." - Kin Hubbard
"To lose weight, spend time at the gym. To appear like you've lost weight, spend time with people who are bigger than you."
- Mokokoma Mokhonoana
"Anyone who goes to a psychiatrist should have his head examined." - Samuel Goldwyn
"I am pretty sure that, if you will be quite honest, you will admit that a good rousing sneeze, one that tears open your collar and throws your hair into your eyes, is really one of life's sensational pleasures." - Robert Benchley
"You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to live to be a hundred." —Woody Allen
"Reality is the leading cause of stress among those in touch with it." —Lily Toml
"Take the admission to the gym to avoid the admission to the hospital."
- Amit Kalantri
"I like nonsense, it wakes up the brain cells. Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living. It's a way of looking at life through the wrong end of a telescope. Which is what I do, and that enables you to laugh at life's realities." - Dr. Seuss
"It's no longer a question of staying healthy. It's a question of finding a sickness you like." —Jackie Mason
"My inner advisor is dying to heal me." - Astrid Alauda
"How sickness enlarges the dimension of a man's self to himself!"- Charles Lamb
"Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night." —Dave Barry