“Half the modern could drugs well be thrown out the window, except that the birds might eat them.”
Unknown
"Avoid any diet that discourages the use of hot fudge"- Don Kardong
"Reality is the leading cause of stress among those in touch with it." —Lily Toml
"I am dying with the help of too many physicians." —Alexander the Great
"Men scream and go crazy in the gym. I'm a silent workout partner, but when my adrenaline gets up, I talk trash."
- Fergie
"The only time to eat diet food is while you're waiting for the steak to cook"- Julia Child
"My inner advisor is dying to heal me." - Astrid Alauda
"Quit worrying about your health. It'll go away." —Robert Orben
"Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do practice?" —George Carlin
"I don't exercise. If God had wanted me to bend over, He would have put diamonds on the floor"- Joan Rivers
"Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing." —Redd Foxx
“I never worry about diets. The only carrots that interest me are the number you get in a diamond.”- Erik Satie
“I have to excercise in the morning before my brain figures out what I'm doing."- Marsha Doble.
"There's lots of people in this world who spend so much time watching their health that they haven't the time to enjoy it." - Josh Billings
"We pay our gym membership for the permission to exercise in the gym, not for the owner(s) of the gym to exercise for us."
- Mokokoma Mokhonoana.
“Never eat more than you can lift.”
Miss Piggy
"I've always enjoyed poor health." —Taylor Caldwell
"I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet." - Rodney Dangerfield
"My doctor recently told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already." —Milton Berle
"Red meat is not bad for you. Now blue-green meat, that's bad for you!" - Tommy Smothers
"I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol."- Steven Write
"Men make use of their illnesses at least as much as they are made use of by them." - Aldous Huxley
"Quit worrying about your health. It'll go away." —Robert Orben
“Anorexia is a disease not a fashion statement.”
Brooke
"I can't believe we got grades in gym class. I've never used anything I learned in there."
- Jim Gaffigan
“Anywhere is walking distance if you have got the time.”
Steven Wright
“The trouble with jogging is that by the time you realize you are not in shape for it, its too far to walk back.”
Andy Rooney
"Food is an important part of a balanced diet." —Fran Lebowitz
"I quit therapy because my analyst was trying to help me behind my back." - Richard Lewis
"Every time I hear the dirty word 'exercise' I wash my mouth out with chocolate!"
- Unknown.
"My idea of exercise is a good brisk sit."
- Phyllis Dille
"How many psychologists does it take to change a light bulb? Just one, but it takes nine visits." - Author unknown
"Fitness: If it came in a bottle, everyone would have a great body."
- Cher.
"Reality is the leading cause of stress among those in touch with it." —Lily Tomlin
"Doctors are always working to preserve our health and cooks to destroy it, but the latter are the more often successful." - Denis Diderot
"Eating words has never given me indigestion." —Winston Churchill
“An apple a day keeps the doctor away, But if the doctor is cute forget the fruit.”
Sammie
"Some people would fall in or out of love with you if you lose or gain a few kilos."
- Mokokoma Mokhonoana
"Health is merely the slowest way someone can die."
"I like long walks, especially when they're taken by people who annoy me"- Fred Allen.
"To cease smoking is the easiest thing I ever did. I ought to know because I've done it a thousand times." —Mark Twain
"A bad cold wouldn't be so annoying if it weren't for the advice of our friends." - Kin Hubbard
"Sometimes I get the feeling the aspirin companies are sponsoring my headaches." - V.L. Allineare
“It’s bizarre that the [grocery store] produce manager is more important to my children’s health than the pediatrician.”
Unknown
"How sickness enlarges the dimension of a man's self to himself!"- Charles Lamb
"I have to exercise in the morning before my brain figures out what I'm doing."
- Marsha Doble
"To lose weight, spend time at the gym. To appear like you've lost weight, spend time with people who are bigger than you."
- Mokokoma Mokhonoana
"I go to the gym three days a week. You have to or else - I don't want to be the guy that dies shoveling snow."
- Douglas Coupland
"Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night." —Dave Barry
"Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died." —Erma Bombeck