“Dogs have boundless enthusiasm but no sense of shame. I should have a dog as a life coach.”
- Moby.
“You can say any foolish thing to a dog, and the dog will give you a look that says, ‘Wow, you’re right! I never would’ve thought of that!’”—Dave Barry
“You can always tell about somebody by the way they put their hands on an animal.”
- Betty White.
“A dog is one of the remaining reasons why some people can be persuaded to go for a walk.”—Orlando Aloysius Battista
“I’ve never met an animal I didn’t like, and I can’t say the same thing about people.”
- Doris Day.
“My goal in life is to be as good of a person my dog already thinks I am.” ~ Unknown
“The only reason a great many American families don't own an elephant is that they have never been offered an elephant for a dollar down and easy weekly payments."
- Mad Magazine
“Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in? I think that is how dogs spend their lives.”
- Sue Murphy.
“You know why fish are so thin? They eat fish.
- Jerry Seinfeld"
“Money can’t buy you happiness, but it can buy you a yacht big enough to pull up right alongside it." ~ David Lee Roth
“What does a snail say when he rides on the back of a turtle?
“Whee!”
- Will Durst
“Three rebels against the light: the thief, the adulterer, and the bat.”
- Hebrew Proverb.
“The better I get to know men, the more I find myself loving dogs.”
- Charles De Gaulle.
“What do dogs do on their day off? Can’t lie around – that’s their job.”
- George Carlin.
“The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.”
- Andy Rooney.
“There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face."
Ben Williams
“I am fond of pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals.”
Winston Churchill
“Cats have a scam going – you buy the food, they eat the food, they go away; that’s the deal.”
- Eddie Izzard.
“All of the animals except for man know that the principle business of life is to enjoy it.”
- Samuel Butler..
“In order to maintain a well-balanced perspective, the person who has a dog to worship him should also have a cat to ignore him.” —Peterborough Examiner, Canada
“I’ve seen a look in dogs’ eyes, a quickly vanishing look of amazed contempt, and I am convinced that basically, dogs think humans are nuts.”
- John Steinbeck.
“Saving is a very fine thing. Especially when your parents have done it for you.” – Winston Churchill
“No animal should ever jump up on the dining-room furniture unless absolutely certain that he can hold his own in the conversation."
- Fran Lebowitz
“Dogs teach us a very important lesson in life: the mailman is not to be trusted.”—Sian Ford
“A cat is a puzzle for which there is no solution.”
- Hazel Nicholson.
“Time spent with cats is never wasted.”
- Sigmund Freud
“Noise proves nothing. Often a hen who has merely laid an egg cackles as if she laid an asteroid.”
- Mark Twain.
“My fashion philosophy is if you’re not covered in dog hair, your life is empty.”
- Elayne Boosler.
“The household cat is really a tiger that has underwent three counselling programs.”
- Valeriu Butulescu.
“My relationships with my cats have saved me from a deadly, pervasive ignorance.”
- William S. Burroughs.
“I take my pet lion to church every Sunday. He has to eat.”
- Marty Pollio.
“We’ve all done this because we’re so mature. You see a cow on the side of the road, stick your head out the window and go, “Mooooo!” Like we expect the cow to think, “Hey, there’s another cow, driving that car! How can he afford that?”
- Garry Shandling.
“Noise proves nothing. Often a hen who has merely laid an egg cackles as if she laid an asteroid."
- Mark Twain
“The other day when I was walking through the woods, I saw a rabbit standing in front of a candle making shadows of people on a tree." - Steven Alexander Wright
“Outside of a dog, a book is a man’s best friend. Inside of a dog, it’s too dark to read.”
Groucho Marx
“The best way to get a puppy is to beg for a baby brother—and they will settle for a puppy every time.”—Winston Pendelton
“It’s tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won’t drink from my glass.”—Rodney Dangerfield
“Perhaps one reason we are fascinated by cats is because such a small animal can contain so much independence, dignity, and freedom of spirit. Unlike the dog, the cat’s personality is never bet on a human’s. He demands acceptance on his own terms.”
- Lloyd Alexander.
“Never break a promise to an animal. They're like babies—they won't understand.”
― Tamora Pierc
“Always respect Mother Nature. Especially when she weighs 400 pounds and is guarding her baby.”
- James Rollins.
“Our perfect companions never have fewer than four feet.”
- Colette.
“There’s no need for a piece of sculpture in a home that has a cat.”
- Wesley Bates.
“If you think dogs can’t count, try putting three dog biscuits in your pocket and then giving Fido only two of them.”
- Phil Pastoret.
“Beaver do better work than the Corps of Engineers.”
- Mike Todd.
“My dog is a half pit bull, half poodle. Not much of a watchdog, but a vicious gossip!”
- Craig Shoemaker.
“Scratch a dog and you’ll find a permanent job.”
- Franklin P. Jones.
“God in his wisdom made the fly, And then forgot to tell us why.”
- Ogden Nash.
“The best thing about animals is that they don’t talk much.”
- Thornton Wilder.