"Life is a moderately good play with a badly written third act." - Truman Capote
"I’m 59 and people call me middle-aged. How many 118-year-old men do you know?"- Barry Cryer
"I don’t feel old. I don’t feel anything until noon. Then it’s time for my nap." - Bob Hope
"You know you are getting old when everything hurts, and what doesn’t hurt doesn’t work." - Hy Gardner
"I complain that the years fly past, but then I look in a mirror and see that very few of them actually got past." - Robert Brault
"Looking fifty is great—if you’re sixty." - Joan Rivers
“Old age is an excellent time for outrage. My goal is to say or do at least one outrageous thing every week.” - Maggie Kuhn
"Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what happened." - Jennifer Yane
"Today, you’re 50. Now we can round your age up to 100! Happy 50th birthday!" - Dave Barry"
"I don’t plan to grow old gracefully. I plan to have face-lifts until my ears meet." - Rita Rudner
"I have reached an age when, if someone tells me to wear socks, I don’t have to." - Albert Einstein
"I was thinking about how people seem to read the bible a lot more as they get older, and then it dawned on me—they’re cramming for their final exam."- George Carlin
"Old age is like a plane flying through a storm. Once you are aboard there is nothing you can do about it." - Golda Meir
"First you forget names, then you forget faces, then you forget to pull your zipper up, then you forget to pull your zipper down." - Leo Rosenberg
"At fifty, everyone has the face he deserves." - George Orwell
"We don’t grow older, we grow riper." - Pablo Picasso
"In childhood, we yearn to be grown-ups. In old age, we yearn to be kids. It just seems that all would be wonderful if we didn’t have to celebrate our birthdays in chronological order." - Robert Brault
"There’s one advantage to being 102, there’s no peer pressure." - Dennis Wolfberg
"Men do not quit playing because they grow old—they grow old because they quit playing." - Oliver Wendell Holmes
""Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest." - Larry Lorenzoni
"Everything slows down with age, except the time it takes cake and ice cream to reach your hips." - John Wagner
"It’s important to have a twinkle in your wrinkle." - Unknown
"I refuse to admit I’m more than fifty-two, even if that does make my sons illegitimate." - Nancy Astor
“Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.” – Will Rogers
"If I’d known I was going to live this long, I’d have taken better care of myself." - Anonymous
"A stockbroker urged me to buy a stock that would triple its value every year. I told him, ‘At my age, I don’t even buy green bananas.’" - Claude Pepper
"Nobody expects to trust his body much after the age of fifty." - Alexander Hamilton
"The years between 50 and 70 are the hardest. You are always being asked to do things, and yet you are not decrepit enough to turn them down." - T.S. Elliot
"I didn’t get old on purpose, it just happened. If you’re lucky, it could happen to you." – Andy Ronney
"The important thing to remember is that I’m probably going to forget." - Unknown
"Old age is always fifteen years older than I am." - Oliver Wendell Holmes
"There are three stages of man: he believes in Santa Claus, he does not believe in Santa Claus, he is Santa Claus." - Bob Phillips
"The first sign of maturity is the discovery that the volume control also turns to the left. - Jerry M. Wright
"Thirty-five is a very attractive age. London society is full of women of the very highest birth who have, of their own free choice, remained thirty-five for years." - Oscar Wilde
"Gray hair is God’s graffiti." – Bill Cosby
“By the time you’re 80 years old you’ve learned everything. You only have to remember it.” —George Burns
"There is absolutely nothing to be said in favor of growing old. There ought to be legislation against it." - Patrick Moore
"Wisdom doesn’t necessarily come with age. Sometimes, age just shows up all by itself." - Tom Wilson
“The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.”—Lucille Ball
"Regrets are the natural property of grey hairs." - Charles Dickens