“The key to my heart looks a whole lot like a plate of pasta.”
― Unknown
"When the waitress asked if I wanted my pizza cut into four or eight slices, I said, 'Four. I don't think I can eat eight."
— Yogi Berra
"I've been on a diet for two weeks and all I've lost is two weeks."
— Totie Fields
“Some people can eat anything they want and stay slim. I put on weight just by reading the recipe.”
― Unknown
"As a child, my family's menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it."
— Buddy Hackett
“A party without a cake is really just a meeting.”
― Julia Child
“Anyone who says that money cannot buy happiness has clearly never spent their money on pizza.”
― Andrew W.K.
“Today I bought a doughnut without sprinkles. This diet thing is hard.”
― Unknown
“I bought a calming tea but the smell and taste is making me nervous.”
― Unknown
“There’s no “we” in ice cream.”
― Unknown
"All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt."
— Charles M. Shulz
“Those pizzas I ate were for medicinal purposes.”
― Amy Neftzger
“I want to tell you about the "sausage principle." The theory says, "If you love something, never try to find out how it is done."”
― Unknown
“Little known fact, gentlemen. Tacos are the food of genius.”
― Heather Brewer
"In these difficult times, when so many people are having trouble finding enough to eat, we are extending the “five-second rule” to a full ten seconds."
– Ron Piraro
“I have a passion for not cooking.”
― Unknown
“I always carry a knife in my purse, just in case we’re having cake.”
― Unknown
"Vegetables are a must on a diet. I suggest carrot cake, zucchini bread, and pumpkin pie."
— Jim Davis
"The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not."
— Mark Twain
"If I hold a can of soda up to my ear and listen carefully, I can hear my bones pleading for a glass of milk."
– Bridger Winegar
"Without ice cream, there would be darkness and chaos."
– Don Kardong
"An onion can make people cry but there's never been a vegetable that can make people laugh."
— Will Rogers
"At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom."
— George Carlin
"There's no better feeling in the world than a warm pizza box on your lap."
— Kevin James
“Abs are temporary. Chocolate is forever.”
― Unknown
“An apple a day keeps anyone away, if you throw it hard enough.”
― Unknown
“My mind says ‘abs’ but my heart says ‘cheese fries’.”
― Unknown
“Don’t believe everything fortune cookies tell you. Just because they’re sweet doesn’t mean they’re right.”
― Unknown
“Being a beaver is nice, if you’re hungry you just eat a piece of your home.”
― Unknown
"The 12-step chocoholics program: Never be more than 12 steps away from chocolate!"
— Terry Moore
“A pizza slice a day keeps sadness away.”
― Jet Paacal
“Seize the moment. Remember all those women on the Titanic who waved off the dessert cart.”
― Erma Bombeck
"I'm not sure how the average American would differentiate National Dessert Day from any other day."
– Andy Borowitz
“I eat cake every day because somewhere out there it’s someone’s birthday and I like to celebrate.”
― Unknown
"Strength is the capacity to break a chocolate bar into four pieces with your bare hands - and then eat just one of the pieces."
— Judith Viorst
“You only live once… Lick the bowl!”
― Unknown
"When we put vegetables up for the winter, we use jars, but we call it canning. I find that jarring. And uncanny."
– Greg Tamblyn
"I'll have a double cappuccino, half-caf, non-fat milk, with enough foam to be aesthetically pleasing, but not so much that it would leave a mustache."
— Niles Crane
“I won’t be impressed with technology until I can download food.”
― Unknown
“Who knew that the hardest part of being an adult is figuring out what to cook for dinner every single night for the rest of your life.”
― Unknown
"Carbs are the answer. No matter the question."
— Unknown
“Another day, another 13,000 calories.”
— Andy Lassner
“I’m like Pacman when I’m at a party, I eat everything and run away from anyone coming close to me.”
― Unknown
"I would like to find a stew that will give me heartburn immediately, instead of at three o'clock in the morning."
– John Barrymore
"Wait. Why am I thinking about Krispy Kremes? We're supposed to be exercising."
— Meg Cabot
"Snack time heals all wounds."
— Bridger Winegar
“Love and sausage are alike. Can never have enough of either.”
— Trixie Koontz
"Never eat more than you can lift."
— Miss Piggy
"The trouble with eating Italian food is that, five or six days later, you're hungry again."
– George Miller
“Swiss cheese differs from Camembert by better ventilation.”
― Unknown