"You can tell a lot about a fellow's character by his way of eating jelly beans."
— Ronald Reagan
“My mind says ‘abs’ but my heart says ‘cheese fries’.”
― Unknown
"All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt."
— Charles M. Shulz
“I always carry a knife in my purse, just in case we’re having cake.”
― Unknown
"Wait. Why am I thinking about Krispy Kremes? We're supposed to be exercising."
— Meg Cabot
"There's no better feeling in the world than a warm pizza box on your lap."
— Kevin James
“I won’t be impressed with technology until I can download food.”
― Unknown
“Little known fact, gentlemen. Tacos are the food of genius.”
― Heather Brewer
“If we’re not meant to have midnight snacks, why is there a light in the fridge?”
― Unknown
"Fettucini alfredo is macaroni and cheese for adults."
– Mitch Hedberg
"Never trust a skinny cook."
– Iain Hewitson
"The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not."
— Mark Twain
"After a good dinner, one can forgive anybody, even one's own relations."
— Oscar Wilde
“I didn’t get this physique by not eating tacos.”
― Jon Tester
“Who knew that the hardest part of being an adult is figuring out what to cook for dinner every single night for the rest of your life.”
― Unknown
"Promises and pie-crust are made to be broken."
— Jonathan Swift
"I am not a glutton – I am an explorer of food."
– Erma Bombeck
“Some people can eat anything they want and stay slim. I put on weight just by reading the recipe.”
― Unknown
“Anyone who says that money cannot buy happiness has clearly never spent their money on pizza.”
― Andrew W.K.
“Don’t believe everything fortune cookies tell you. Just because they’re sweet doesn’t mean they’re right.”
― Unknown
"Do you know what breakfast cereal is made of? It's made of all those little curly wooden shavings you find in pencil sharpeners!"
— Roald Dahl
“The only clubs I’m interested in are sandwiches.”
― Unknown
"I'm not sure what makes pepperoni so good if it's the pepper or the oni."
— Ulrik Stephens
“Seize the moment. Remember all those women on the Titanic who waved off the dessert cart.”
― Erma Bombeck
“The only thing I like better than talking about food is eating.”
— John Walters
"Anything is good if it's made of chocolate."
— Jo Brand
"My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people."
— Orson Welles
“I bought a calming tea but the smell and taste is making me nervous.”
― Unknown
"I don't share blame. I don't share credit. And I don't share desserts"
– Beverly Sills
"I would like to find a stew that will give me heartburn immediately, instead of at three o'clock in the morning."
– John Barrymore
"The 12-step chocoholics program: Never be more than 12 steps away from chocolate!"
— Terry Moore
"I always cook with wine. Sometimes I even add it to the food."
— W.C. Fields
“Being a beaver is nice, if you’re hungry you just eat a piece of your home.”
― Unknown
"Fish is the only food that is considered spoiled once it smells like what it is."
— P. J. O'Rourke
"When you see a couple walking down the street holding hands and laughing, you look over to your side and the only thing you're holding is a half-eaten sandwich."
— Violet Matters
“Every pizza is a personal pizza if you try hard and believe in yourself.”
― Bill Murray
"Watermelon - it's a good fruit. You eat, you drink, you wash your face."
— Enrico Caruso
"A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand."
— Barbara Johnson
"Vegetables are a must on a diet. I suggest carrot cake, zucchini bread, and pumpkin pie."
— Jim Davis
"I was a vegetarian until I started leaning toward the sunlight."
– Rita Rudner
“Stomach: I will now demonstrate a blue whale’s mating call.”
― Unknown
"If more of us valued food and cheer and song above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world."
– J.R.R. Tolkien
“Love means never having to say “Should we get dessert?”
― Unknown
“Being a couch potato is dangerous, someone may get hungry and eat you!”
― Unknown
“Abs are temporary. Chocolate is forever.”
― Unknown
“I believe it’s a cook’s moral obligation to add more butter given the chance.”
― Michael Ruhlman
"If we shake out all of the crumbs from all of the keyboards in the world, we can end world hunger."
— Matthew Dolkart
“Nutrition labels should include a “What if I ate the whole thing” section.”
― Unknown
"Strength is the capacity to break a chocolate bar into four pieces with your bare hands - and then eat just one of the pieces."
— Judith Viorst
"Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education."
— Mark Twain