“Stomach: I will now demonstrate a blue whale’s mating call.”
― Unknown
"Never order barbecue in a place that also serves quiche."
— Lewis Grizzard
"Watermelon - it's a good fruit. You eat, you drink, you wash your face."
— Enrico Caruso
“You only live once… Lick the bowl!”
― Unknown
"In these difficult times, when so many people are having trouble finding enough to eat, we are extending the “five-second rule” to a full ten seconds."
– Ron Piraro
“Being a couch potato is dangerous, someone may get hungry and eat you!”
― Unknown
"If this is coffee, please bring me some tea; but if this is tea, please bring me some coffee."
– Abraham Lincoln
“I’m glad I don’t have to hunt my own food, I don’t even know where sandwiches live.”
― Unknown
“I’m like Pacman when I’m at a party, I eat everything and run away from anyone coming close to me.”
― Unknown
“I didn’t get this physique by not eating tacos.”
― Jon Tester
“A pizza slice a day keeps sadness away.”
― Jet Paacal
"The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not."
— Mark Twain
“I bought a calming tea but the smell and taste is making me nervous.”
― Unknown
“I always carry a knife in my purse, just in case we’re having cake.”
― Unknown
"The 12-step chocoholics program: Never be more than 12 steps away from chocolate!"
— Terry Moore
"I'm not sure how the average American would differentiate National Dessert Day from any other day."
– Andy Borowitz
“Your body is not a temple, it’s an amusement park. Enjoy the ride.”
― Anthony Bourdain
“Today I bought a doughnut without sprinkles. This diet thing is hard.”
― Unknown
“I believe it’s a cook’s moral obligation to add more butter given the chance.”
― Michael Ruhlman
"Life is too short for self-hatred and celery sticks."
– Marilyn Wann
"I've been on a diet for two weeks and all I've lost is two weeks."
— Totie Fields
"When you see a couple walking down the street holding hands and laughing, you look over to your side and the only thing you're holding is a half-eaten sandwich."
— Violet Matters
"You can tell a lot about a fellow's character by his way of eating jelly beans."
— Ronald Reagan
“All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt.”
― Charles M. Schulz
“A cookie a day keeps the sadness away. An entire jar of cookies a day brings it back.”
― Unknown
"Carbs are the answer. No matter the question."
— Unknown
“I have a passion for not cooking.”
― Unknown
“When life hands you lemons, give them back. You deserve chocolate.”
― Unknown
“Seize the moment. Remember all those women on the Titanic who waved off the dessert cart.”
― Erma Bombeck
“I eat cake every day because somewhere out there it’s someone’s birthday and I like to celebrate.”
― Unknown