“Being a beaver is nice, if you’re hungry you just eat a piece of your home.”
― Unknown
"Never order barbecue in a place that also serves quiche."
— Lewis Grizzard
“Swiss cheese differs from Camembert by better ventilation.”
― Unknown
"I really don't think I need buns of steel. I'd be happy with buns of cinnamon."
— Ellen DeGeneres
"My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people."
— Orson Welles
“You can’t make everyone happy. You’re not pizza.”
― Unknown
“Seize the moment. Remember all those women on the Titanic who waved off the dessert cart.”
― Erma Bombeck
"Your diet is a bank account. Good food choices are good investments."
— Bethenny Frankel
"Without ice cream, there would be darkness and chaos."
– Don Kardong
“All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt.”
― Charles M. Schulz
“Stomach: I will now demonstrate a blue whale’s mating call.”
― Unknown
“Today I bought a doughnut without sprinkles. This diet thing is hard.”
― Unknown
"Do you know what breakfast cereal is made of? It's made of all those little curly wooden shavings you find in pencil sharpeners!"
— Roald Dahl
"The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not."
— Mark Twain
"Promises and pie-crust are made to be broken."
— Jonathan Swift
“If we’re not meant to have midnight snacks, why is there a light in the fridge?”
― Unknown
"In these difficult times, when so many people are having trouble finding enough to eat, we are extending the “five-second rule” to a full ten seconds."
– Ron Piraro
"Carbs are the answer. No matter the question."
— Unknown
"Never trust a skinny cook."
– Iain Hewitson
“I always carry a knife in my purse, just in case we’re having cake.”
― Unknown
“Being a couch potato is dangerous, someone may get hungry and eat you!”
― Unknown
"When the waitress asked if I wanted my pizza cut into four or eight slices, I said, 'Four. I don't think I can eat eight."
— Yogi Berra
“Nutrition labels should include a “What if I ate the whole thing” section.”
― Unknown
"I was a vegetarian until I started leaning toward the sunlight."
– Rita Rudner
“Every pizza is a personal pizza if you try hard and believe in yourself.”
― Bill Murray
“Who knew that the hardest part of being an adult is figuring out what to cook for dinner every single night for the rest of your life.”
― Unknown
“Red meat is not bad for you. Now, blue-green meat—that’s bad for you!”
— Tom Smothers
"There's no better feeling in the world than a warm pizza box on your lap."
— Kevin James
"Vegetables are a must on a diet. I suggest carrot cake, zucchini bread, and pumpkin pie."
— Jim Davis
“If you know how many cupcakes I’m holding behind my back I’ll give you both of them.”
― Unknown
"A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand."
— Barbara Johnson
"Strength is the capacity to break a chocolate bar into four pieces with your bare hands - and then eat just one of the pieces."
— Judith Viorst
"If we shake out all of the crumbs from all of the keyboards in the world, we can end world hunger."
— Matthew Dolkart
“A cookie a day keeps the sadness away. An entire jar of cookies a day brings it back.”
― Unknown
“Love means never having to say “Should we get dessert?”
― Unknown
"I just want someone to look at me the way I look at food."
— Unknown
"Snack time heals all wounds."
— Bridger Winegar
"Wait. Why am I thinking about Krispy Kremes? We're supposed to be exercising."
— Meg Cabot
“All my life I thought air was free until I bought a bag of chips.”
― Unknown
“Every day is National Donut Day if you put your mind to it.”
― Unknown
"A slice of pie without cheese is like a kiss without a squeeze."
— Stephen King
"Humor keeps us alive. Humor and food. Don't forget food. You can go a week without laughing."
— Joss Whedon
"Watermelon - it's a good fruit. You eat, you drink, you wash your face."
— Enrico Caruso
"I am not a glutton – I am an explorer of food."
– Erma Bombeck
"All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt."
— Charles M. Shulz
“Little known fact, gentlemen. Tacos are the food of genius.”
― Heather Brewer
"When we put vegetables up for the winter, we use jars, but we call it canning. I find that jarring. And uncanny."
– Greg Tamblyn
“I didn’t get this physique by not eating tacos.”
― Jon Tester
“How do I like my eggs? In a cake.”
― Unknown
"You can tell a lot about a fellow's character by his way of eating jelly beans."
— Ronald Reagan