“Unless you are a pizza, the answer is yes, I can live without you.”
― Bill Murray
"Americans will eat garbage provided you sprinkle it liberally with ketchup."
— Henry James
“Diet day #1: All the unhealthy food has been removed from the house. It was delicious.”
― Unknown
“My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way.”
― Henny Youngman
“Those pizzas I ate were for medicinal purposes.”
― Amy Neftzger
"I don't eat lobsters, shrimp, or crawfish because I don't eat anything that looks like I should step on it."
— George Carlin
"Never order barbecue in a place that also serves quiche."
— Lewis Grizzard
“I thought about losing weight once, but I don’t like losing.”
― Unknown
"An onion can make people cry but there's never been a vegetable that can make people laugh."
— Will Rogers
"I lost some weight once, but I found it again in the fridge."
— Unknown
"Life is uncertain. Eat dessert first."
– Ernestine Ulmer
“I’m like Pacman when I’m at a party, I eat everything and run away from anyone coming close to me.”
― Unknown
“Swiss cheese differs from Camembert by better ventilation.”
― Unknown
"The trouble with eating Italian food is that five or six days later, you're hungry again."
— George Miller
"Your diet is a bank account. Good food choices are good investments."
— Bethenny Frankel
“Another day, another 13,000 calories.”
— Andy Lassner
“Your body is not a temple, it’s an amusement park. Enjoy the ride.”
― Anthony Bourdain
"I really don't think I need buns of steel. I'd be happy with buns of cinnamon."
— Ellen DeGeneres
"In these difficult times, when so many people are having trouble finding enough to eat, we are extending the “five-second rule” to a full ten seconds."
– Ron Piraro
“A pizza slice a day keeps sadness away.”
― Jet Paacal
“How do I like my eggs? In a cake.”
― Unknown
“Love and sausage are alike. Can never have enough of either.”
— Trixie Koontz
“An apple a day keeps anyone away, if you throw it hard enough.”
― Unknown
"Never eat more than you can lift."
— Miss Piggy
“You can’t make everyone happy. You’re not pizza.”
― Unknown
“I have a passion for not cooking.”
― Unknown
"Carbs are the answer. No matter the question."
— Unknown
"Life is too short for self-hatred and celery sticks."
– Marilyn Wann
"A fruit is a vegetable with looks and money. Plus, if you let fruit rot, it turns into wine, something Brussels sprouts never do."
– P. J. O’Rourke
"As a child, my family's menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it."
— Buddy Hackett
"You can tell a lot about a fellow's character by his way of eating jelly beans."
— Ronald Reagan
“My mind says ‘abs’ but my heart says ‘cheese fries’.”
― Unknown
"All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt."
— Charles M. Shulz
“I always carry a knife in my purse, just in case we’re having cake.”
― Unknown
"Wait. Why am I thinking about Krispy Kremes? We're supposed to be exercising."
— Meg Cabot
"There's no better feeling in the world than a warm pizza box on your lap."
— Kevin James
“I won’t be impressed with technology until I can download food.”
― Unknown
“Little known fact, gentlemen. Tacos are the food of genius.”
― Heather Brewer
“If we’re not meant to have midnight snacks, why is there a light in the fridge?”
― Unknown
"Fettucini alfredo is macaroni and cheese for adults."
– Mitch Hedberg
"Never trust a skinny cook."
– Iain Hewitson
"The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not."
— Mark Twain
"After a good dinner, one can forgive anybody, even one's own relations."
— Oscar Wilde
“I didn’t get this physique by not eating tacos.”
― Jon Tester
“Who knew that the hardest part of being an adult is figuring out what to cook for dinner every single night for the rest of your life.”
― Unknown
"Promises and pie-crust are made to be broken."
— Jonathan Swift
"I am not a glutton – I am an explorer of food."
– Erma Bombeck
“Some people can eat anything they want and stay slim. I put on weight just by reading the recipe.”
― Unknown
“Anyone who says that money cannot buy happiness has clearly never spent their money on pizza.”
― Andrew W.K.
“Don’t believe everything fortune cookies tell you. Just because they’re sweet doesn’t mean they’re right.”
― Unknown