“Pizza is like the entire food pyramid!”
― Madeline Oles
"Humor keeps us alive. Humor and food. Don't forget food. You can go a week without laughing."
— Joss Whedon
"When you see a couple walking down the street holding hands and laughing, you look over to your side and the only thing you're holding is a half-eaten sandwich."
— Violet Matters
"I am not a glutton – I am an explorer of food."
– Erma Bombeck
“Being a beaver is nice, if you’re hungry you just eat a piece of your home.”
― Unknown
“I always carry a knife in my purse, just in case we’re having cake.”
― Unknown
"Do you know what breakfast cereal is made of? It's made of all those little curly wooden shavings you find in pencil sharpeners!"
— Roald Dahl
"Anything is good if it's made of chocolate."
— Jo Brand
"If more of us valued food and cheer and song above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world."
– J.R.R. Tolkien
"Life is too short for self-hatred and celery sticks."
– Marilyn Wann
“Love means never having to say “Should we get dessert?”
― Unknown
“I thought I’d become an actress, but then I realized I eat too much.”
― Chelsea Handler
“You only live once… Lick the bowl!”
― Unknown
“You can’t make everyone happy. You’re not pizza.”
― Unknown
“I thought about losing weight once, but I don’t like losing.”
― Unknown
"I just want someone to look at me the way I look at food."
— Unknown
“A cookie a day keeps the sadness away. An entire jar of cookies a day brings it back.”
― Unknown
“Being a couch potato is dangerous, someone may get hungry and eat you!”
― Unknown
“My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way.”
― Henny Youngman
“All my life I thought air was free until I bought a bag of chips.”
― Unknown
"I lost some weight once, but I found it again in the fridge."
— Unknown
"I'll have a double cappuccino, half-caf, non-fat milk, with enough foam to be aesthetically pleasing, but not so much that it would leave a mustache."
— Niles Crane
"Carbs are the answer. No matter the question."
— Unknown
"Your diet is a bank account. Good food choices are good investments."
— Bethenny Frankel
"The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not."
— Mark Twain
“I have a passion for not cooking.”
― Unknown
"Wait. Why am I thinking about Krispy Kremes? We're supposed to be exercising."
— Meg Cabot
“You know you are getting old when the candles on your birthday cake start to cost more than the cake itself.”
― Unknown
“Love and sausage are alike. Can never have enough of either.”
— Trixie Koontz
"Never eat more than you can lift."
— Miss Piggy
"I always cook with wine. Sometimes I even add it to the food."
— W.C. Fields
"After a good dinner, one can forgive anybody, even one's own relations."
— Oscar Wilde
"Strength is the capacity to break a chocolate bar into four pieces with your bare hands - and then eat just one of the pieces."
— Judith Viorst
"The trouble with eating Italian food is that, five or six days later, you're hungry again."
– George Miller
"The trouble with eating Italian food is that five or six days later, you're hungry again."
— George Miller
“Another day, another 13,000 calories.”
— Andy Lassner
“When life hands you lemons, give them back. You deserve chocolate.”
― Unknown
"At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom."
— George Carlin
"Never order barbecue in a place that also serves quiche."
— Lewis Grizzard
"Fettucini alfredo is macaroni and cheese for adults."
– Mitch Hedberg
“Who knew that the hardest part of being an adult is figuring out what to cook for dinner every single night for the rest of your life.”
― Unknown
"The 12-step chocoholics program: Never be more than 12 steps away from chocolate!"
— Terry Moore
“Those pizzas I ate were for medicinal purposes.”
― Amy Neftzger
“When you are stressed you eat ice cream, cake, chocolate and sweets because stressed spelled backward is desserts.”
― Unknown
“I’m like Pacman when I’m at a party, I eat everything and run away from anyone coming close to me.”
― Unknown
"Snack time heals all wounds."
— Bridger Winegar
“Your body is not a temple, it’s an amusement park. Enjoy the ride.”
― Anthony Bourdain
"If I hold a can of soda up to my ear and listen carefully, I can hear my bones pleading for a glass of milk."
– Bridger Winegar
"Life expectancy would grow by leaps and bounds if green vegetables smelled as good as bacon."
— Doug Larson
“I bought a calming tea but the smell and taste is making me nervous.”
― Unknown