“Those pizzas I ate were for medicinal purposes.”
― Amy Neftzger
“Every pizza is a personal pizza if you try hard and believe in yourself.”
― Bill Murray
"If more of us valued food and cheer and song above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world."
– J.R.R. Tolkien
"The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for thirty years she served the family nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found."
— Calvin Trillin
“Anyone who says that money cannot buy happiness has clearly never spent their money on pizza.”
― Andrew W.K.
“I bought a calming tea but the smell and taste is making me nervous.”
― Unknown
"Anything is good if it's made of chocolate."
— Jo Brand
“Stomach: I will now demonstrate a blue whale’s mating call.”
― Unknown
“The only clubs I’m interested in are sandwiches.”
― Unknown
"In these difficult times, when so many people are having trouble finding enough to eat, we are extending the “five-second rule” to a full ten seconds."
– Ron Piraro
“I want to tell you about the "sausage principle." The theory says, "If you love something, never try to find out how it is done."”
― Unknown
“A party without a cake is really just a meeting.”
― Julia Child
"I was a vegetarian until I started leaning toward the sunlight."
– Rita Rudner
“I believe it’s a cook’s moral obligation to add more butter given the chance.”
― Michael Ruhlman
"Life expectancy would grow by leaps and bounds if green vegetables smelled as good as bacon."
— Doug Larson
“There’s no “we” in ice cream.”
― Unknown
“You can’t make everyone happy. You’re not pizza.”
― Unknown
"We must have a pie. Stress cannot exist in the presence of a pie."
– David Mamet
“Love means never having to say “Should we get dessert?”
― Unknown
“Don’t believe everything fortune cookies tell you. Just because they’re sweet doesn’t mean they’re right.”
― Unknown
“A pizza slice a day keeps sadness away.”
― Jet Paacal
"I don't share blame. I don't share credit. And I don't share desserts"
– Beverly Sills
"Snack time heals all wounds."
— Bridger Winegar
"A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand."
— Barbara Johnson
"Vegetables are a must on a diet. I suggest carrot cake, zucchini bread, and pumpkin pie."
— Jim Davis
“Where there is cake, there is hope. And there is always cake.”
― Dean Koontz
"A fruit is a vegetable with looks and money. Plus, if you let fruit rot, it turns into wine, something Brussels sprouts never do."
– P. J. O’Rourke
"The trouble with eating Italian food is that five or six days later, you're hungry again."
— George Miller
“I didn’t get this physique by not eating tacos.”
― Jon Tester
“Today I bought a doughnut without sprinkles. This diet thing is hard.”
― Unknown
"My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people."
— Orson Welles
“When you are stressed you eat ice cream, cake, chocolate and sweets because stressed spelled backward is desserts.”
― Unknown
"Popcorn for breakfast! Why not? It’s a grain. It’s like, like, grits, but with high self-esteem."
– James Patterson
“All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt.”
― Charles M. Schulz
“You only live once… Lick the bowl!”
― Unknown
"I'll have a double cappuccino, half-caf, non-fat milk, with enough foam to be aesthetically pleasing, but not so much that it would leave a mustache."
— Niles Crane
“When life hands you lemons, give them back. You deserve chocolate.”
― Unknown
“Every day is National Donut Day if you put your mind to it.”
― Unknown
"As a child, my family's menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it."
— Buddy Hackett
“I eat cake every day because somewhere out there it’s someone’s birthday and I like to celebrate.”
― Unknown
"Wait. Why am I thinking about Krispy Kremes? We're supposed to be exercising."
— Meg Cabot
“My mind says ‘abs’ but my heart says ‘cheese fries’.”
― Unknown
"At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom."
— George Carlin
"A slice of pie without cheese is like a kiss without a squeeze."
— Stephen King
"Strength is the capacity to break a chocolate bar into four pieces with your bare hands - and then eat just one of the pieces."
— Judith Viorst
“Nutrition labels should include a “What if I ate the whole thing” section.”
― Unknown
“Everything goes better with tacos.”
― Rachel Caine
"I would like to find a stew that will give me heartburn immediately, instead of at three o'clock in the morning."
– John Barrymore
“Your body is not a temple, it’s an amusement park. Enjoy the ride.”
― Anthony Bourdain
"The only time to eat diet food is while you're waiting for the steak to cook."
— Julia Child