"It isn't good to keep things bottled up."
What happened when a clumsy sommelier tried to decant a bottle of fine wine?
Things went pour-ably wrong.
You’re wine in a million.
What time do ladies drink wine?
At Wine O'Clock.
"I make pour decisions."
Where does wine catch up on all the vineyard dirt?
Through the grapevine.
Party Host: Would you like to try some mulled wine?
Party Guest: I'll have to think it over...
"You had me at merlot."
Why do wine lovers guzzle down vine humor?
Because wine jokes are a barrel of laughs.
"Giving you more reasons to wine."
"You are so bottlefull to me."
"Is that a yay or cabernet?"
"Another glass? Wine not?!"
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I’m not old. I’m aged to perfection. And full bodied.
"Adulting makes me wine."
Vine Thought of the Day: Choosy moms choose wine!
Don’t hang around booze hounds. They’re wine-y bitches.
How can you tell a wine taster is a newbie?
By the blanc look on her face.
Did you hear about the crime family that took over the wine importing business?
They call themselves the Sip-ranos!
Whenever I feel like wining, I remind myself to put a cork in it.
Are there any funny red wine puns at BabaMail Jokes?
You bet Shiraz there are!
Why do we enjoy wine jokes?
Because they're de-vine!
"Back that glass up."
"Be kind, re-wine."
"Alcohol you later."
"Love the wine you're with."
My doctor said I need to change my diet. He said I should eat more more caviar and drink more champagne. So, I said, "That's insane! What kind of a diet is that?" He replied, "It's called a High Fluten Diet."
Oh no! My wine glass is empty. Somebody call Wine-One-One!
Why does your grandma like wine so much?
Because at her age, she needs glasses!
"I'm not a wino. I'm a wineYES!"
"It's wine o'clock."
Wine if you must. It’s not good to bottle up your emotions.
"Everything happens for a riesling, right?"
"Will you accept this rosé?"
"Sip happens."
Some people like beer goggles. I prefer wine glasses.
Gluten-free, dairy-free, fat-free – I love this new Champagne Diet!
Somehow they knew I wanted champagne. It was chilling.
My wife hates it when I mess with her red wine. I added fruit and orange juice, and now she sangria than ever!
"Oh, sweet child of wine."
"Chardonnay or should I go?"