Wine Puns

Welcome! This is a place for humor connoisseurs! Only the most fine, fresh WINE PUNS here for our most select members!

Wine Puns

"Let's get fizzical. Pass the prosecco."
Why did Wonder Woman rescue the Wine?
Because that's what grape lady superheroes do!
What do sailors drink when they gather at a tavern to commiserate?
Port whine!
Remember to stop and smell the rosé.
Did you hear about the crime family that took over the wine importing business?
They call themselves the Sip-ranos!
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I’m not old. I’m aged to perfection. And full bodied.
Which sports team do wine lovers always root for?
The Reds!
Party Host: Would you like to try some mulled wine?
Party Guest: I'll have to think it over...
Whenever I feel like wining, I remind myself to put a cork in it.
"Everything happens for a riesling, right?"
My doctor said I need to change my diet. He said I should eat more more caviar and drink more champagne. So, I said, "That's insane! What kind of a diet is that?" He replied, "It's called a High Fluten Diet."
Why does your grandma like wine so much?
Because at her age, she needs glasses!
"Partners in wine."
Wine Lovers Rhyme: A friend of wine is a friend of mine!
Where do connoisseurs lock up their best bottles?
In a wine cabernet.
Wine if you must. It’s not good to bottle up your emotions.
Gluten-free, dairy-free, fat-free – I love this new Champagne Diet!
Happy Hour is at wine o’ clock
Are there any funny red wine puns at BabaMail Jokes?
You bet Shiraz there are!
"Alcohol you later."
"Say you'll be wine."
"I need to re-wine my life."
"Time to wine down."
What time do ladies drink wine?
At Wine O'Clock.
"It isn't good to keep things bottled up."
Which type of wine only comes in a box?
Carbordeaux.
Why have a mer little when you can have a merlot?
"Here for the right riesling."
Why do winos love cheap wine puns?
Because wine snobs hate them!
Wino Woe: Forgive me, for I have zinned!
"Back that glass up."
"You had me at merlot."
This kind of wine does not go right through you. Trust me, you will pee no noir.
"Hakuna Moscato. It means drink wine."
Fine Wine Pick-Up Line: Hey babe, what are you doing this fall? 'Cause I'd like to make you part of the season's harvest.
What kind of wine do they serve at the horse races?
Chardon-neigh!
How did the vineyard launch the new champagne making business?
They crashed a small boat into it.
There’s a hair in my wine. The grapes must have been fur-mented.
"Sip, sip hooray."
Somehow they knew I wanted champagne. It was chilling.
Why was the white wine's off-beat pun so boo-ed?
Because it was too corky.
"No wine left behind."
"You can't sip with us."
"Sip happens."
Some people like beer goggles. I prefer wine glasses.
"Is that a yay or cabernet?"
What is a terrorist's preferred kind of wine?
White Infidel.
"My day just went from super to sip-erb, real quick."
Why do we love wine puns?
Because they're grape!
Vine Thought of the Day: Choosy moms choose wine!