Names

Hermit crabs’ house phones were always shell phones

My two pet crabs have very different personalities. One is always in a good mood, but the other can be a bit of a grump.
Their names are crabA and crabB
Little Johnny and the Name of the Lord
Little Johnny and the Name of the Lord A Sunday School teacher decided to quiz her students about what they learned that year. Sunday School Teacher: "Okay class... who can tell me what are some different names used when talking about God?" Little Johnny: "Hallowed!" Sunday School Teacher: "Hallowed? How did you get that as an answer?" Little Johnny: "It’s in the Lord’s Prayer: Our Father who art in heaven, Hallowed be thy name..."
When I see lovers' names carved in a tree, I don't think it's sweet.
I just think it's surprising how many people bring a knife on a date.
Their Obsession
Their Obsession A renowned psychologist was conducting a group therapy session with four young mothers and their little children. After a few hours of talking and analyzing their words and behavior, he said: "I believe that you all suffer from some obsession." He turned to the first mother and said, "You obviously have an obsession with food. You've even named your daughter Candy." He turned to the second Mom. "Your obsession is money. And it manifests itself in your child's name, Penny," He turned to the third Mom. "Your obsession is alcohol. Again, it manifests itself in your child's name, Brandy." At this point, the fourth mother got up, took her little boy by the hand and said, "Come on, Richard, Peter and Willy, let's go".
What did the bottled water tell the spy?
The names bond, Hydrogen bond.
I have a lot of cute names for my girlfriend, but ever since she’s been in a coma, I just cauliflower.