Knock Knock Who's there?
Pecan who?
Pecan somebody your own size!
When the giant cannibals started to soak me in vinegar, I'd had enough.
"Why don't you pickle someone your own size?" I shouted.
Yo mama is so fat her dress size is global.
"Babe is it in?" "Yea."
"Does it hurt?" "Uh huh."
"Let me put it in slowly."
"It still hurts."
"Okay, let's try another shoe size."
What is the same shape and size as a sequoia tree, but weighs nothing at all? The tree’s shadow.
How many worms does it take to eat a zombie?
It depends on the size of the zombie!
To Be Eight Again
To Be Eight Again A husband was sitting on the edge of the bed, watching his wife, who was looking at herself in the mirror. Since her birthday was not far off, he asked what she’d like as a gift. “I’d like to be 8 again,” she replied, still looking in the mirror. On the morning of her birthday, he rose early, made her a nice big bowl of Coco Pops, and then took her to Adventure World theme park. What a day! He put her on every ride in the park; the Death Slide, the Wall of Fear, the Screaming Roller Coaster, everything there was. Five hours later they staggered out of the theme park. Her head was reeling and her stomach felt upside down. He then took her to a McDonald’s where he ordered her a Happy Meal with extra fries and a chocolate shake. Then it was off to a movie, with popcorn, a soda pop, and her favorite candy, M&Ms. What a fabulous adventure! Finally she wobbled home with her husband and collapsed into bed, exhausted. He leaned over his wife with a big smile and lovingly asked, "Well dear, what was it like being 8 again?" Her eyes slowly opened and her expression suddenly changed. "I meant my dress size, you idiot!"
Republicans Turned Off By Size Of Obama’s Package
There was a Young Lady of Dorking,
Who bought a large bonnet for walking;
But its colour and size,
So bedazzled her eyes,
That she very soon went back to Dorking.