Minds Jokes

Shopping for a Psychic In a small town there lived a gypsy psychic, who was known to read minds, do divinations etc. One day, she went to shop for clothes. After trying all kinds of outfits, a sales person approached her and asked if she can bring her some things. "Sure." Said the psychic, and the girl went to get her dresses. When she came back, the psychic looked at the clothes and then raised an eyebrow. "There is no way these will fit me, they are all 'Large'!" "I've been working at this a while," said the sales girl, "believe me, I think these will fit you." "Nope. No way." said the psychic. "How do you know if you haven't even tried them on?" Said the frustrated girl. "Trust me," said the psychic, "I'm a medium."
Good bowlers always keep their minds out of the gutter.
They say that volleyball is just mind over matter. Because in our minds, you don’t matter.
Who never minds being interrupted in the middle of a sentence? A convict.
Flowers like our minds, open at the right time. Mine has opened to receive your love.
What was going through the minds of all of Chuck Norris' victims before they died?
His Shoe.
It’s your birthday, there is no cure,
Cakes and candles, you must endure,
Quick and painless, let me assure,
A tiny chance, you will be mature,
With this crowd, usually secure,
Random fun, with results obscure,
Liquids we drink, definitely pure,
Goofy friends, minds we tour,
Hilarious birthday, that’s for sure.

(Martin Dejnicki)
How to spell the potato has tried
Many minds, sometimes mine, I’ll confide.
Though it may have an eye,
There’s no E – don’t ask why!
Not until it’s been baked, boiled or fried.
What’s the difference between a teacher and a railway security guard? One trains the mind, the other minds the train.
"Great minds drink alike."
I hear you like wine, too. Grape minds think alike.
The graphic designer's present company gave her a substantial raise while a rival company also gave a similar offer. I am now caught in hue minds!
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