Keep Jokes

Why do potatoes make good detectives?
Because they keep their eyes peeled.
"The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not."
— Mark Twain
I bought a secured warehouse where I keep appliances to clean pots, pans, plates, and silverware.
It's dishwasher safe!
You’re like my coffee, you keep me up all night.
There's a New Bull in Town Three bulls heard the rancher was bringing another bull onto the ranch. First Bull: "I've been here five years. I'm not giving this new bull any of my 100 cows." Second Bull: "I've been here three years and have earned my right to 50 cows. I'm keeping all my cows." Third Bull: "I've only been here a year, and so far, you guys have only let me have 10 cows. I may not be as big as you fellows, but I'm keeping all 10 of my cows." Just then an 18-wheeler pulls up in the pasture carrying the biggest bull they've ever seen. At 4,700 pounds, each step he takes strains the steel ramp. First Bull: "Ahhhh... actually I think I can spare a few cows for our new friend." Second Bull: "I.. I have too many cows to take care of. I can spare a few." They look over at the third bull and find him pawing the dirt, shaking his horns and snorting. First Bull: "Son, don't be foolish - let him have some of your cows and live to tell about it." Third Bull: "Hell, he can have all my cows. I'm just making sure he knows I'm a BULL."
Did you hear about the elf who was a little hard of hearing?
She had to keep saying "Sleigh, what?"
"The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd druther not." - Mark Twain
Try to take a tiger from his daddy's side, That's how love gonna keep us tied
Why did the troll go running?
To keep up with you!
I always like to keep my place stocked with coffee and breakfast food in case I don't wake up alone.
Famous mermaid saying: Keep your friends close and your anemones closer.
I don’t always like to tell dwarf jokes. But when I do, I like to keep them short.
Even the most powerful storms of Jupiter couldn’t keep me from you!
"In Hollywood, brides keep the bouquets and throw away the groom."
Are you that one more chapter? You keep me awake most of the time.
Are you a bookmark? Because I keep rereading the pages you are on!
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