Keep

I asked a train engineer how many times his train had derailed. He said, “I’m not sure, it’s hard to keep track.”
Where does a neuron keep its money?
In a brain bank.
My boss said to me, “You are the worst train operator ever. How many trains have you derailed in the past year?”
I said, “I’m not sure. It’s so hard to keep track.”
I’ve been meaning to make a list of bad railroad puns…but I keep getting side tracked.
Did you hear about the boy who had to do a project on trains? He had to keep track of everything!
I asked a train engineer how many times his train had derailed. He said, “I’m not sure, it’s hard to keep track.”
You're so ugly in your family album they only keep the negatives.
Where do vegetables keep their money?
In the credit onion.
Keep calm and carrot on.
I'm using a bra for a face mask.
I like to keep abreast of corona security measures.
Ok, so if the Corona Virus isn't about beer, why do I keep hearing about cases of it?
We sleep in separate rooms, we have dinner apart, we take separate vacations - we're doing everything we can to keep our marriage together.
Rodney Dangerfield
“Good humor is a tonic for mind and body. It is the best antidote for anxiety and depression. It is a business asset. It attracts and keep friends. It lightens human burdens. It is the direct route to serenity and contentment.”
Greenville Kleisser
“The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don’t want, drink what you don’t like, and do what you’d rather not.“
Mark Twain
Where does Google keep their ships?
In the Google Docs.
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