Live

A Cowboy was told that if he sprinkled gunpowder on his breakfast, he'd live to a ripe old age
So he did this religiously, every morning.

He lived to the ripe old age of 96.

He left behind 8 Children, 24 Grandchildren and 60 Great Grandchildren, as well as a 16 foot hole in the wall of the crematorium.
Why are birthdays good for you?
People who have the most live the longest.
[Chicken] We’re serving this during the game, so you might call it a live ball fowl.
You don’t need to pay rent to live inside my heart.
What type of apartment does a pun live in?
The pun-thouse!
First we lived in kingdoms run by Kings, then Empires run by Emperors
Now we live in Countries...
What street does the hippocampus live on?
Memory lane.
Why didn't the brain want to take a bath?
The other day I was lifting weights on the bench press, when I dropped the weight and it fell on my chest. The nurse said I broke three ribs but I would live. Hearing that really lifted a weight off my chest.
“If you live to be one hundred, you’ve got it made. Very few people die past that age.”
George Burns
“Man cannot live by bread alone; he must have peanut butter.”
James A. Garfield
“I intend to live forever. So far, so good.”
Steven Wright
“It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them.”
Ralph Waldo Emerson

“You know, some people say life is short and that you could get hit by a bus at any moment and that you have to live each day like it’s your last. Bullshit. Life is long. You’re probably not gonna get hit by a bus. And you’re gonna have to live with the choices you make for the next fifty years.”
Chris Rock
How should you live your life? By seasoning the moment.
I once asked my grandfather how he'd lived so long
He smiled and said; "I sprinkle a little gunpowder on my cereal every morning."

I always thought that was a little weird but he did live a long life and left a great legacy; a thriving career, loving wife, seven children, sixteen grandchildren, two great-grandchildren, and a massive hole in the crematorium wall.
If dolphins lived on land, which country would they live in?
Finland!
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