Earth

I have been expelled from the Flat Earth Society.
Apparently, I went too far.
A rise in mercury sometimes mars the life on earth. How else would you think nature planet?
A Volunteer to Mars
A Volunteer to Mars NASA was interviewing professionals to be sent to Mars. Only one could go and they could never return to Earth. The first applicant, an engineer, was asked how much he wanted to be paid for going. “A million dollars,” he answered, “because I want to donate it to M.I.T.” The next applicant, a doctor, was asked the same question. He asked for $2 million. “I want to give a million to my family,” he explained, “and leave the other million for the advancement of medical research.” The last applicant was a lawyer. When asked how much money he wanted, he whispered in the interviewer’s ear, “Three million dollars.” “Why so much?” asked the interviewer. The lawyer replied, “You convince them I'm the best candidate. I’ll give you $1 million, I’ll keep $1 million, and we’ll send the engineer to Mars.”
Haggling With St. Peter
Haggling With St. Peter An American, a Scot and a Canadian were in a terrible car accident. They were all brought to the same emergency room, but all three of them died before they arrived. Just as they were about to put the toe tag on the American, he stirred and opened his eyes. Astonished, the doctors and nurses present asked him what happened. "Well, " said the American, "I remember the crash, and then there was a beautiful light, and then the Canadian and the Scot and I were standing at the gates of heaven. St. Peter approached us and said that we were all too young to die, and that for a donation of $50, we could return to the earth. So of course I pulled out my wallet and gave him the $50, and the next thing I knew I was back here." "That's amazing!" said one of the doctors, "But what happened to the other two?" "Last I saw them," replied the American, "the Scot was haggling over the price and the Canadian was waiting for the government to pay for his."
Have you heard the one about the spaceship that came to Earth?
Never mind its over your head.
Have you heard the one about the spaceship that came to Earth?
Never mind its over your head.
Why are worms so easy to get along with?
Because they are always down to Earth.
Why is earth worm humor offensive?
They only know dirty jokes.
What do worms leave round their baths?
The scum of the earth!
What did the worm say to the other when he was late home? Where in earth have you been.
What do worms leave round their baths? The scum of the earth.
Cassini spacecraft took pictures of both Saturn and Earth. It was literally the best of both worlds.
Sun to Earth, on the night of 31st December:
"Let's have another round, shall we?"
"I heard some dictator wants to move the Earth further from the sun."
"Why??"
"Because it will take longer to make a full revolution."
Living on Earth might be expensive. But we surely get a free trip around the sun every year!
The earth was flat...
Until they buried your mom.
I really hope corona virus can't spread through s*x
It would be so lonely being the last man on Earth.