Taught Jokes

There once was a vicar at Kew
Who kept his pet cat in a pew.
He taught it to speak
alphabetical Greek,
but it never got farther than µ.
A tutor who taught on the flute,
tried to teach two young tooters to toot.
Said the two to the tutor,
"Is it harder to toot or,
to tutor two tooters to toot?"
My ambition, said old Mr. King,
Is to live as a bird on the wing.
Then he climbed up a steeple,
Which scared all the people,
So they caged him and taught him to sing.
I once fell in love with a blonde,
But found that she wasn't so fond.
Of my pet turtle named Odle,
whom I'd taught how to Yodel,
So she dumped him outside in the pond.
In history class, the teacher taught said the Magna Carta was signed in 1215 and to write an essay on it. A student handed in his work with "The Magna Carta was signed in 1215" written 150 times.
The teacher asked the boy, "Why did you write this?" The boy replied, "Because you always say that history repeats itself!"
One fundamental lesson our teacher has taught us in History class while talking about the Civil War was never to take victory for Grant-ed.
I taught a dog to play the trumpet on the London Underground.
We went from Barking to Tooting in 20 minutes!
The kindergarten kids were taught the alphabet and peach sounds at school.
The fruit teacher taught figures of peach in today's class.
Did Rudolph go to school?
No, he was elf taught!
What quarantine really taught me?
That you don't really need fun to have alcohol.
My mother-in-law never taught my wife to shave her legs without getting cut.
She didn’t razor right.
Reindeer don't go to school—they're elf taught.
My father always taught me to be prepared for any emergency. I was on the ball when the streets flooded...
I was ready and wading!
In the history class, the onion teachers taught the student onions that during the vegetable cold war, the Soviet Onion was a superpower.
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